[shah269]

I think I have learned more about me than I have learned about women from this article.
Having had a rough up bringing I am not use to getting compliments even from friends and i have to admit i has held me back on many matters in my life.

I hope you enjoyed the article as much as I have.

[amanda hor$t]

u guys ever been to amsterdam? the "hot chick" that you put on a pedestal... when it comes down to it she's worth about a 1spot (if looks and getting laid are all that matter)... now go!

[Ashley Schaeffer BMW]

*books flight to Amsterdam*

[shah269]

save your self some money....fly to Cali Colombia you will thank me later

[bumere90]

damn, now I know why I am not getting laid
thanks!

[Ashley Schaeffer BMW]

Good idea.... I like the sound of Colombianas

[amanda hor$t]

Originally Posted by JAM3S

*books flight to Amsterdam*

+23 doo doo doo dobeedobeedobeedo bop!

[Colt]

Originally Posted by shah269

save your self some money....fly to Cali Colombia you will thank me later

Get me some good ass deals on Dyson and I'll think about it

[Vic311]

Originally Posted by f30nynj

I would agree that I lost couple of opportunities just cuz I was responsive & showed good interest. She thought I was clingy.

But now, even though I like her I would act like I m not too much. Responding to texts with a 20-30min delay and not revealing too much at same time. Just engage her enough so she'll come back. It works for me!!

It is about keeping the right slack, not too tight & not too saggy.

So true.

[Greenkirby21]

this makes sense picking up girls, getting laid, or getting a girlfriend(worked for me in HS, girls I tended to ignore kept on being annoying and wanted to spend time with me), but what happens after you grow up, get married or advance to a deep relationship? Do you still treat her like crap, show no interest and ignore her calls? How do you keep her wanting you without making you seem like a jerk?

is there a point where you both just grow up and treat each other like normal human beings with love instead of this princess and knight story?

I've been dating my gf for 3.5 years, and I didn't have to do that kinda stuff to get her to notice me. We became friends and after some time we started to just do everything together because we enjoyed each others company. She's not only my gf but also my best friend.

However, the argument does make sense about wants and needs. I remember the first christmas I got my gf some jewelry and she cried tears of joy. Now if I do it she just says pretends like its something normal.

[Colt]

Originally Posted by Greenkirby21

is there a point where you both just grow up and treat each other like normal human beings with love instead of this princess and knight story?

A majority of the time, no. Multiple women seem to live this philosophy. It's the ones you pick and choose to go further into life with. For all we know the wack job down the street is a hot woman at age 40, single mom, and still thinks shes some sort of princess that needs a lifeboat..

[bumere90]

Originally Posted by Angerman

A majority of the time, no. Multiple women seem to live this philosophy. It's the ones you pick and choose to go further into life with. For all we know the wack job down the street is a hot woman at age 40, single mom, and still thinks shes some sort of princess that needs a lifeboat..

+1 so true

[KingOfJericho]

Originally Posted by Greenkirby21

this makes sense picking up girls, getting laid, or getting a girlfriend(worked for me in HS, girls I tended to ignore kept on being annoying and wanted to spend time with me), but what happens after you grow up, get married or advance to a deep relationship? Do you still treat her like crap, show no interest and ignore her calls? How do you keep her wanting you without making you seem like a jerk?

is there a point where you both just grow up and treat each other like normal human beings with love instead of this princess and knight story?

I've been dating my gf for 3.5 years, and I didn't have to do that kinda stuff to get her to notice me. We became friends and after some time we started to just do everything together because we enjoyed each others company. She's not only my gf but also my best friend.

However, the argument does make sense about wants and needs. I remember the first christmas I got my gf some jewelry and she cried tears of joy. Now if I do it she just says pretends like its something normal.

There's a fine line between being a gentleman and being a cuckold. This thread made me shake my head. It screams desperation. Those are the scenarios where he'll come home and find her getting drilled by the pool boy.

I think you are misinterpreting what we're saying a little bit. Treating each other like normal human beings instead of a princess is pretty much exactly what we're saying. I've also had friendships that turned into relationships but that's not really the scenario we're talking about. I buy my wife flowers on occasion (randomly - it's more effective) but I certainly don't feel as if I have to give her my Amex to keep her happy.

Bottom line: Girls like guys who act like guys.

[gatorfast]

Maybe in high school women like jerks but that is certainly is not true later in life. Having a good career and being respectful carries much more weight when women are looking to get serious.

Maybe the whores that hang out at the trashy clubs/bars like jerks but any girl that's marriage material probably doesn't.

[KingOfJericho]

I don't think that anyone advocated acting like a "jerk", additionally, the balance of power shifts drastically when age increases.

[shah269]

Please not the TED vido i posted on the last page.
I think it may answer all of your questions about continued relationships.
Shah

ps
also look at the comments section of the article. you may be amazed at what you will see.

ppss
Also this makes you ponder online dating?
how do you flirt with a woman who though single and looking has a low view of herself but is armed with the delete key?
Dude 1 "Hey Buttercup269 I love that photo of you on the beach riding the horse! Where was that? Looks like fun?
Buttercup269....oh shit he thinks i'm pretty and wants to talk to me....omg omg omg omg this makes me feel uncomfortable...delete.

Dude 1 “Hey Buttercup269, sup sup girl, that’s a cute looking horse in that photo and the girl on top isn’t too bad either.”
Buttercup269……oh shit what a fucking asshole! Omg omg omg fuck him…delete.

I really don’t mean to be rude, but this is why my therapist drives a top of the line E class she paid for in cash and owns three homes. One here in NJ, one ski house in Vermont and one on the beach in Florida. Not that we men are any better but at least….well…

[KingOfJericho]

Are you on bath salts?

[Templar]

Originally Posted by Team Plutonium

See, this again is a post that has me convinced that you are a very sophisticated troll. If that is not the case... you are the saddest individual on this forum... by a mile.

This guy was signed up for OK Cupid, and comes here making fun of online dating?

[KingOfJericho]

Originally Posted by Templar

This guy was signed up for OK Cupid, and comes here making fun of online dating?

Maybe he's trolling there too...

[shah269]

Originally Posted by Templar

This guy was signed up for OK Cupid, and comes here making fun of online dating?

Sigh...face palm....what I'm saying is (I got angry for no reason)
Due to the insights gained from this article regarding cognitive dissonance caused by the external not matching the internal. Does this mean that the model of online dating is at its core flawed? Such that those women who you as a man find attractive may in fact not be ready willing nor able to accept your heat felt advances and ignore you? And if you took the tact of meeting them where they feel they should be, being slightly offensive, the woman would be offended since she has received dozens of emails of praise….and as such again ignored?

Perhaps an effective online dating model / speed dating model would be one where the women hit on the men and the men then responded. For this would force if not imply that the woman has either come to terms with the dissonance of the external and the internal and is open to being praised for her intellect, beauty or presence OR the woman never had this issue in the first place and this is a non issue.

But this would mean turning the mating instincts we ourselves have ingrained in our cultural DNA on its head. And I don’t think that would ever really get off the ground for many women in our and the greater society not only have a great fear of rejection but also a fear of objectification.

However of the stable and healthy relationships I have seen in my life, a good number were initiated by the girl walking over to the guy rather than the man perusing the woman.

This is called a conversation, you discuss ideas of thoughts and points of view?

[RambleJ]

Originally Posted by gatorfast

Maybe in high school women like jerks but that is certainly is not true later in life. Having a good career and being respectful carries much more weight when women are looking to get serious.

Maybe the whores that hang out at the trashy clubs/bars like jerks but any girl that's marriage material probably doesn't.

It works perfectly fine later in life.. I'm in my 30s its going just fine.
But I think you misunderstand it, its not to the point of being a jerk. But not wearing your heart on your sleeve and learning to become the object that they are reaching for not vice versa.
If you are too nice you'll end up in the friend zone and if you're a complete tool you'll only get club rats. So its learning how to walk in the middle and when to walk away.

[Templar]

Originally Posted by shah269

Sigh...face palm....what I'm saying is IF YOU TOOK YOUR THUMB OUT OF YOUR ASS AND READ.....both the article and my question is this.

Due to the insights gained from this article regarding cognitive dissonance caused by the external not matching the internal. Does this mean that the model of online dating is at its core flawed? Such that those women who you as a man find attractive may in fact not be ready willing nor able to accept your heat felt advances and ignore you? And if you took the tact of meeting them where they feel they should be, being slightly offensive, the woman would be offended since she has received dozens of emails of praise….and as such again ignored?

Perhaps an effective online dating model / speed dating model would be one where the women hit on the men and the men then responded. For this would force if not imply that the woman has either come to terms with the dissonance of the external and the internal and is open to being praised for her intellect, beauty or presence OR the woman never had this issue in the first place and this is a non issue.

But this would mean turning the mating instincts we ourselves have ingrained in our cultural DNA on its head. And I don’t think that would ever really get off the ground for many women in our and the greater society not only have a great fear of rejection but also a fear of objectification.

However of the stable and healthy relationships I have seen in my life, a good number were initiated by the girl walking over to the guy rather than the man perusing the woman.

This is called a conversation, you discuss ideas of thoughts and points of view?

Please...

No one reads your worthless posts...