BMW i5 and 5-Series Forum

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      06-03-2014, 04:51 PM   #1
prowheelie92
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Confused on my sexuality

After installing the infamous performance exhaust with carbon fiber cyba tips on my 335i I became peculiarly addicted to my vehicle. Every morning I would wake up and march gaily(happily) down the stairs, go outside, turn on my car, and stare at my exhaust in awe. A few mornings go by repeating the same process and I found my addiction growing stronger and stronger. It got so extreme that one morning I found myself fondling with my genitalia. Now of course I found this moment utterly disturbing at first so I quickly elevated my hand back into my pockets. It is as if my subconscious mind started to "feel some type of way" towards my car. Obviously this is beyond the social norm and I would not dare be caught doing something so absurd. So now I only do this morning process during the night time, where I can be obscure all by myself.

If there is anyone out there, and I mean anyone, with similar experiences please PM me and we can talk. Thanks for reading.

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      06-03-2014, 04:53 PM   #2
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      06-03-2014, 04:56 PM   #3
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Well, this will be a fun thread.

I hope you all the best, and I sure will know if you act on this, you will have more fulfilling life than most of the folks here.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      06-03-2014, 04:57 PM   #4
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Mmmkay
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      06-03-2014, 05:01 PM   #5
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You two should hang out.

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      06-03-2014, 05:02 PM   #6
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It make me feel some type of way
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      06-03-2014, 05:04 PM   #7
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Stay away from the tailpipes
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      06-03-2014, 05:05 PM   #8
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Did you "pop the hood" yet?
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      06-03-2014, 05:07 PM   #9
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Did you "pop the hood" yet?
You bet I did. I've anal-lyzed every hole in this vehicle.
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      06-03-2014, 05:07 PM   #10
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Have you gotten to 4th gear yet
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      06-03-2014, 05:08 PM   #11
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Trying too hard to be funny.
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      06-03-2014, 05:10 PM   #12
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Have you gotten to 4th gear yet
Fucking lost it
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      06-03-2014, 05:15 PM   #13
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IDam I just got trolled hard...lesson learned..never leave your account logged in
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      06-03-2014, 05:29 PM   #14
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Quote:
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IDam I just got trolled hard...lesson learned..never leave your account logged in
LOL I learned this a long time ago with IRC, Epic feeling, isn't it.
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      06-03-2014, 05:35 PM   #15
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335 exhaust will never sound thaaaaaat good.
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      06-03-2014, 06:17 PM   #16
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IDam I just got trolled hard...lesson learned..never leave your account logged in
Hey man, there's someone with access to your account trying to deprive you of your true feelings for your car by saying you got trolled. Don't let them get you. Follow your d.. , uh, heart!

I still have fond memories of my one time lawnmower, Grassy Bitch. She was a great ride.
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      06-03-2014, 07:27 PM   #17
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I have always wondered who the guy in this video was. We found him, and his name is OP.

Note how he refers to the car as a "him". Gay car love

Okay...this is disturbing in so many ways.
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      06-03-2014, 09:30 PM   #18
prowheelie92
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hahaha taking a beating over here. i really hope my subconcious mind isnt attracted to my car o_O
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      06-04-2014, 12:42 AM   #19
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Please tell me that this is a joke/troll... I've been proud of my car and stared at her even despite the fact that she's bone stock, but not to this level...
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::THE MACHETE::
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      06-04-2014, 08:32 AM   #20
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All of that happened from a 335?


Could have at least chosen something worth while to get all excited over.
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      06-04-2014, 11:44 AM   #21
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You have a 335i. It always starts this way. You believe it is love but it is infact lust that you are feeling right now. Give it a couple weeks then her true identity will start to show through. First she will start to misfire. You will assume that it was just you and that changing a coil or a plug will make her feel fine. And it will. But then right when you feel back in love again, more misfires will happen. But this time you will find out its also injectors. You shell out some cash and hand over the credit card. This is when she will show her true self. Multiple misfires, fuel pumps, water pumps, TPMS warnings. It will never end. But now you are in love. Love is blind. Good luck to us all.
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