[Juggs]

the stronger the urge to propose to my girlfriend. ive been with her for 9 months, but ive known her for 5 years ( we dated briefly and then became great friends over the years). Anyway, last night i had a chat with her to see what she wanted, and we've often agreed to wait a year after she moves in ( she is moving in next jan), but .... its soo hard for me to wait. I'm thinking maybe by next summer i'll do it. What do you think? She'll be 23( and graduated from college) at that time and i'll be 26. Is that too young and should I wait?


and for all of you who say wait, let me point out that i did the fraternity thing in college, i have completely gotten the " i need to sow my royal oats" feeling out of my body. I really want someone to come home to and travel the world with. I dunno, maybe im nuts. Any advice?

[BHairsto]

Originally Posted by Juggs

the stronger the urge to propose to my girlfriend. ive been with her for 9 months, but ive known her for 5 years ( we dated briefly and then became great friends over the years). Anyway, last night i had a chat with her to see what she wanted, and we've often agreed to wait a year after she moves in ( she is moving in next jan), but .... its soo hard for me to wait. I'm thinking maybe by next summer i'll do it. What do you think? She'll be 23( and graduated from college) at that time and i'll be 26. Is that too young and should I wait?


and for all of you who say wait, let me point out that i did the fraternity thing in college, i have completely gotten the " i need to sow my royal oats" feeling out of my body. I really want someone to come home to and travel the world with. I dunno, maybe im nuts. Any advice?

You're not nuts. If you feel it, then go for it. My only advice is that both of you should live alone for at least a year (working, supporting yourself), if you haven't done so already. I think it really helps when both people learn to be self sufficient and come to understand their "own space" (i.e., needs, wants, habits, quirks, etc.) before committing to a life together--you have to learn to live with yourself before you can live with someone else. I proposed to my wife after only 9 months of dating--I knew she was the right person for me. As long as you want to marry HER, and don't just want to get married for the sake of having a companion, I think it's perfectly reasonable to pop the question

[Boostedg35]

dont do it.. run run now.. run for you life


seriously let her move in for a year first. if you make it then bam do it..

[darkcloud]

I'm 24 and popping the question this Friday actually. We've been dating for a little over 3 years now. I prolly would have asked her sooner but my mom and grandma past this last year so my lifes been a little up and down obviously. Anyways I think both of us are ready and we've kinda been living together the last year and a half so I think we're close to working out our "living together" differences well before being married.

Anyways, I say go for it bro. If you know she's the girl for you then why wait another year for really no good reason other then "just cuz". No one says they day you propose, that you must get married 1 year from that date so you've got time.

[F87LUV]

I dont believe in moving in before marriage but if it feels right then go for it [proposing that is.] Personally, I would love to be married young[er] so I can travel and enjoy my life with my husband before kids come into the picture. Im pretty much off that track now though since Im 24 and no where near attached but it was a good idea. Hehe... Good luck though.

[MoreCowbell]

But seriously...

I'd live with your girl for a year before getting married. There is so much divorce now, that I think, with our generation, that "living together" first is very necessary first step.

[RobM]

Originally Posted by ZGirl4U

Personally, I would love to be married young[er] so I can travel and enjoy my life with my husband before kids come into the picture. Im pretty much off that track now though since Im 24 and no where near attached but it was a good idea. Hehe... Good luck though.

You're only 24--you have plenty of time for that plan to still work out.

I'm 30 and nowhere near being attached and I'm still sticking to that plan. (Except, just to be clear, I would want to enjoy life with a wife)

To the OP: Each person is different. You have to do what seems right for you. Strangers on the internet do not know your situation or what is right for you. Pay no attention to us.

[Juggs]

Originally Posted by MoreCowbell

But seriously...

I'd live with your girl for a year before getting married. There is so much divorce now, that I think, with our generation, that "living together" first is very necessary first step.

alrighty here's a pic of us from the other weekend






and i agree to living together. hence why i am thinking next summer because that will be 6 months after she moves in.

[Juggs]

Originally Posted by darkcloud

I'm 24 and popping the question this Friday actually. We've been dating for a little over 3 years now. I prolly would have asked her sooner but my mom and grandma past this last year so my lifes been a little up and down obviously. Anyways I think both of us are ready and we've kinda been living together the last year and a half so I think we're close to working out our "living together" differences well before being married.

Anyways, I say go for it bro. If you know she's the girl for you then why wait another year for really no good reason other then "just cuz". No one says they day you propose, that you must get married 1 year from that date so you've got time.

wow congrats and good luck! That's awesome... 3 years dude. I would hold out for that but like i said, deep inside me i just look at her and i just know in my heart that its "right".

[Juggs]

Originally Posted by BHairsto

You're not nuts. If you feel it, then go for it. My only advice is that both of you should live alone for at least a year (working, supporting yourself), if you haven't done so already. I think it really helps when both people learn to be self sufficient and come to understand their "own space" (i.e., needs, wants, habits, quirks, etc.) before committing to a life together--you have to learn to live with yourself before you can live with someone else. I proposed to my wife after only 9 months of dating--I knew she was the right person for me. As long as you want to marry HER, and don't just want to get married for the sake of having a companion, I think it's perfectly reasonable to pop the question

agreed.. i do want to marry her. actually when i think about it.. i dont just want to marry her. i want to support her, take care of her and just really enjoy her. Honest to god, when i am with her i feel 100% complete. i have never felt that before, and i have been in some very long term relationships before. I have no idea what has come over me... its soo odd yet its soo right at the same time!

[Zephyr15]

If you feel the same way after six months of living together, and are confident she won't think it's too soon, then go for it.

[nmulax]

Originally Posted by MoreCowbell

I'd live with your girl for a year before getting married. There is so much divorce now, that I think, with our generation, that "living together" first is very necessary first step.

+1
Definetely live together first. You could date for years; but you see the other person in a new light once you live with them. At this point it's almost suprising if you're over 30 and not divorced. People jump into marriage way to fast.

[KL2DC]

I was 25 and my wife was 23 when we got married...we had dated for about 5 years, and we're still good 7 years later.

Sometimes I question the timing, but sometimes I'm grateful I didn't have to go through the ups and downs of today's dating scene. When the time comes you'll know what to do. I wish you both the best of luck...remember, if it's meant to be, its meant to be.

[zimbim]

Statistically speaking, couples that live together to "see how it goes" that eventually get married are more likely to get divorced. I know you guys are going to be all over my shit for this. But the couples that go into it with a let's see attitude are less likely to stick it out when the going gets tough.
Met my wife 21 years ago on a plane flying back to Baltimore from NY. Six weeks later we were engaged, 7 months later married. We moved in togther about 3 months into it, but I already gave her the ring. Going strong and hot after almost 20 years! I was 27 and she 24 when we met.
Do what your heart leads you to do. You'll know when the time is right!
All the best.

[F87LUV]

Originally Posted by RobM

You're only 24--you have plenty of time for that plan to still work out.

I'm 30 and nowhere near being attached and I'm still sticking to that plan. (Except, just to be clear, I would want to enjoy life with a wife)

To the OP: Each person is different. You have to do what seems right for you. Strangers on the internet do not know your situation or what is right for you. Pay no attention to us.

Well, to be totally honest, I dont have high hopes. It seems as monogamy is on its way out. At least for my generation. I have no problem with marriage nor am I scared. But i think alot of people get married for the wrong reasons then end up divorced. I dont think it has much to do with living together or not prior.


Anyway, where do these people get divorce stats? I know people get divorced but i think thats only true in the US. I could be wrong though. The more I see, the more it seems that the problem is with american women. Dont flame me though.

[BHairsto]

Originally Posted by zimbim

Statistically speaking, couples that live together to "see how it goes" that eventually get married are more likely to get divorced. I know you guys are going to be all over my shit for this. But the couples that go into it with a let's see attitude are less likely to stick it out when the going gets tough.

Right on. That's one reason why I advised living apart before marrying. If you live together without the commitment, it's easier to give up and walk away when problems arise, or to get cold feet over nothing. Plus, if you go straight from living with your parents/roommates or living in a college setting to living with your girlfriend/boyfriend, neither person gets the chance to "grow up" individually and fully develop his or her own identity outside of the relationship (IMO)--it just adds another layer of complications into the relationship.

[Gripster]

Nice pic. You make a cute couple.

Has she been dropping hints? If not, then perhaps she's not ready - it's my experience that women will let you know in all sorts of subtle ways if marriage is their mind...

[Juggs]

Originally Posted by Gripster

Nice pic. You make a cute couple.

Has she been dropping hints? If not, then perhaps she's not ready - it's my experience that women will let you know in all sorts of subtle ways if marriage is their mind...

she doesnt drop hints but like i said we talk about it in a very frank way so she's definitely not opposed. she said though that she would be completely cool if it happened within the next year.

[PresaMat]

Juggs... she is hot. Mary her... just get a good pre-nup unless she is loaded.

[ScBlacksunshine]

Originally Posted by Juggs

alrighty here's a pic of us from the other weekend






and i agree to living together. hence why i am thinking next summer because that will be 6 months after she moves in.

For some reason, you look much older then 26, maybe it's the pic? Anyhow, she's cute, I am sure you'll be happy with her if and when you decide to pop the big question

[DasBlitz]

Originally Posted by ZGirl4U

I dont believe in moving in before marriage but if it feels right then go for it [proposing that is.] Personally, I would love to be married young[er] so I can travel and enjoy my life with my husband before kids come into the picture. Im pretty much off that track now though since Im 24 and no where near attached but it was a good idea. Hehe... Good luck though.

I disagree, I want to know how that girl acts when we live together. Not after I give her an expensive rock and spend a bunch of time.

Also at age 24 you can travel the world still. Shoot some people dont even leave the state they live in all their life.

Originally Posted by Juggs

alrighty here's a pic of us from the other weekend

and i agree to living together. hence why i am thinking next summer because that will be 6 months after she moves in.

She's a keeper just cus of her looks. haha kidding. Although she is a very good looking women and seems like a nice person.

But if she's the one, give it a shot. Only you know when it will be best, not us.

Originally Posted by zimbim

Statistically speaking, couples that live together to "see how it goes" that eventually get married are more likely to get divorced. I know you guys are going to be all over my shit for this. But the couples that go into it with a let's see attitude are less likely to stick it out when the going gets tough.
Met my wife 21 years ago on a plane flying back to Baltimore from NY. Six weeks later we were engaged, 7 months later married. We moved in togther about 3 months into it, but I already gave her the ring. Going strong and hot after almost 20 years! I was 27 and she 24 when we met.
Do what your heart leads you to do. You'll know when the time is right!
All the best.

Statistically speaking. Where did this come from?

You do know statistically speaking people who get engaged 6 weeks after knowing someone are very inclined to get divorced. How the hell do you know someone within that short span?

It is great it worked out for you. But for most Americans that would become a fling.

Originally Posted by ZGirl4U

Anyway, where do these people get divorce stats? I know people get divorced but i think thats only true in the US. I could be wrong though. The more I see, the more it seems that the problem is with american women. Dont flame me though.

People get divorced all over the world. And we are actually not the highest there was an article I read not to long ago we were in the top 10 but not the highest.

[Juggs]

Originally Posted by PresaMat

Juggs... she is hot. Mary her... just get a good pre-nup unless she is loaded.

haha nah i dont really believe in prenups. i dont have much but whatever we build together she is entitled to half if it does end. one thing i do believe in is not giving up ... so if it does hit the fan one day years from now, im going to do whatever it takes to fix it before giving up