[D_o_S]

Hi guys,

been thinking about things a bit... and about how we all (humans and animals of this planet) should live in peace and harmony...

As most of us are quite obsessed with our cars, let me give an example...

You park in a parking lot that is highly frequented. Lots of people on the move, ladies with handbags, men with suitcases... and or so it happens that they happen to bump into your car a bit... what do you do? Say "I don't give a dam", or start shouting at the guy/girl "What on earth are you thinking? Stay right there, etc.?" I'm assuming no one does the latter. But doesn't it hurt inside, when you see your car that you've spent so much time on, hurt like that? You may say, well fine, it's just an accident, we all do things like that once in a while, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt... and I can re-polish my paint anyway... etc.

But if we escalate a bit - a 10 yo child on a skateboard hits the side mirror on your car and it breaks. What do you do then? Do you also give him the benefit of the doubt, meaning that it was just an accident, and you fix the mirror yourself? Or do you escalate the whole issue, make him get his parents, etc.? And what if the parent's come and start saying "It was just an accident, we're so sorry, it's just a mirror, it's no big deal really"?

And taking it away from the subject of cars...

Imagine a friend of yours suddenly finds himself homeless... you offer him that he can live with you for a few weeks, until he sorts things out. He gladly accepts the offer... A month passes, and he is still living with you... another month passes and his is still there... What do you do? Do you politely ask him to get out, and live on the street? Or do you say "well, I can be a bit more modest myself, and give him the living space he needs"?

What if your aunt or uncle find a job in your area, and want to move in and live with you (long term, 2 years+)? You have a family. What do you say?

Do you see what I'm getting at? Where do you draw the line and say "enough is enough". Most of us are from privileged families, at least comparing to world wide standards. Doesn't it just gnaw at you sometimes to think "what if I were just a bit more modest and let him have x or y?". That's a fine theory, but if you think about it, you might as well pack it up, give all your belongings away, and go live under a bridge for that matter - at the end of the day, you would still be better off than those millions of starving Africans.

Last example... say a friend of yours wants to look at your Rolex... you hand it to him... he fiddles about with it for a while, and then drops it... you prick it up, the case is a little bent and has scratch marks... What do you do? Assume it was an accident? He says "Oh, I'm sorry, but look, it's just a small scratch anyway... you would scratch it yourself in time, so no big deal"... What DO YOU DO?


So, can anyone help me with this question/problem?

[grieverr]

"where do you draw the line?" is too broad a question? Is there something in particular you want to talk about?

A busy parking lot is not somewhere you should park if you're that anal about your car. Park far away and walk. If you catch the kid that broke your mirror, sure, get his parents and ask for money. Is it worth your time and effort of they say no, to follow up and go to small claims court? That's on you.

If your homeless friend doesn't leave your place, you should politely ask him to leave, but give him plenty of time to do so. If he really is your friend, he should want to respect you enough to not take advantage of you.

If your uncles find a job in your area, there should be no need for them to live with you long-term. Get a few paychecks together and find your own place. This, of course, really depends on your relationship with them.

Lastly, if your Rolex gets a small scratch from an honest drop, not because your friend was being a knucklehead, I say let it go. If you can't afford to fix it, you can't afford the watch.

Helping someone you love (and that can be platonic), should be something worth doing. Good family, that have loved you, clothed you, fed you, etc... deserve that you give some of that back, if the need arises. And a real and good friend, is just as good as family.
Now, chances are that most of your friends are really just acquaintances, and I believe that those people you should not really go too out of the way for, because they won't do it for you.

[Feyd]

You park in a parking lot that is highly frequented. Lots of people on the move, ladies with handbags, men with suitcases... and or so it happens that they happen to bump into your car a bit... what do you do? Say "I don't give a dam", or start shouting at the guy/girl "What on earth are you thinking? Stay right there, etc.?" I'm assuming no one does the latter. But doesn't it hurt inside, when you see your car that you've spent so much time on, hurt like that? You may say, well fine, it's just an accident, we all do things like that once in a while, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt... and I can re-polish my paint anyway... etc.

Tell them to be more careful, and since I've lost all faith in humanity and their ability to "come through" on things, I'll then proceed to tell them to fuck-off and I'll absorb the cost of repair and take it up the ass just like I do everything else. I'm So tired of carrying the dead weight of this country and I know I'm not alone.



But if we escalate a bit - a 10 yo child on a skateboard hits the side mirror on your car and it breaks. What do you do then? Do you also give him the benefit of the doubt, meaning that it was just an accident, and you fix the mirror yourself? Or do you escalate the whole issue, make him get his parents, etc.? And what if the parent's come and start saying "It was just an accident, we're so sorry, it's just a mirror, it's no big deal really"?

See answer to #1, probably followed with a control your fucking kid response.



Imagine a friend of yours suddenly finds himself homeless... you offer him that he can live with you for a few weeks, until he sorts things out. He gladly accepts the offer... A month passes, and he is still living with you... another month passes and his is still there... What do you do? Do you politely ask him to get out, and live on the street? Or do you say "well, I can be a bit more modest myself, and give him the living space he needs"?

If the dude still needs a place to stay after two months it would really depend on the circumstances. But if the person was being complacent and a blatant mooch, I'd kick their ass out and drive them to the shelter.



What if your aunt or uncle find a job in your area, and want to move in and live with you (long term, 2 years+)? You have a family. What do you say?

Absolutely not, get your own damn place.



Last example... say a friend of yours wants to look at your Rolex... you hand it to him... he fiddles about with it for a while, and then drops it... you prick it up, the case is a little bent and has scratch marks... What do you do? Assume it was an accident? He says "Oh, I'm sorry, but look, it's just a small scratch anyway... you would scratch it yourself in time, so no big deal"... What DO YOU DO?

Ask him for the name of his insurance agent, because he needs to file a liability claim.

[JayKay335i]

You lend a hand in times of need. Possessions are just objects. When my generosity is taken advantage of and a person becomes complacent about it is where I draw the line.

[D_o_S]

Originally Posted by JayKay335i

You lend a hand in times of need. Possessions are just objects. When my generosity is taken advantage of and a person becomes complacent about it is where I draw the line.

This is the sort of response I was looking for, a generalized view on how you should let others treat your possessions I guess... Not to say the first two responses were bad, thanks for that.

More views welcome.

[windowsM]

I am selfish and raw. Too many people are too forgiving IMO. We are all fighting to survive.
If someone affects my possession, it's their fault, not mine.

[TurboFan]

Originally Posted by D_o_S

....at the end of the day, you would still be better off than those millions of starving Africans.

I've been serving in the African "slums" for the past month now. I've seen at least 4 different X6's, maybe more.

[bunnn]

Originally Posted by JayKay335i

You lend a hand in times of need. Possessions are just objects. When my generosity is taken advantage of and a person becomes complacent about it is where I draw the line.

Agreed, but even then it still varies from person to person. Some people's threshold for these things are definitely than others. Hard to tell you where the line is drawn, especially when everyone has different income, relation status, life style, and even parenting.

[JayKay335i]

Originally Posted by bunnn

Agreed, but even then it still varies from person to person. Some people's threshold for these things are definitely than others. Hard to tell you where the line is drawn, especially when everyone has different income, relation status, life style, and even parenting.

It all depends on the situation. My family member gets a new job local to me, sure they can crash at my place. But if you get a job that is worth moving for, you can afford a place to live, and you best GTFO once you find that with a decently short period of time.

Some stranger flings open their door in a parking lot, yeah, I'm going to be like WTF and file an insurance claim with their insurance. Some little kit accidentally does something, I may let it slide. If they are being an idiot and are with their parents, I'll most likely hold the parent accountable.

You have to draw a line but it varies by situation. You have to find a place somewhere between where you feel comfortable and being a douche bag. Its a fine line, and sometime there isn't one at all.

[jopa489]

As usual, JayKay has the right idea. I agree with his words.

If a woman slams her door or shopping cart into my car and I see it, I will most certainly say something and file a claim. If a 10 year old kid accidentally knocks out my mirror, I'm not going to hold him responsible. I'm OCD about my cars, but shit happens and I can accept that.

[JayKay335i]

Originally Posted by jopa489

As usual, JayKay has the right idea. I agree with his words.

If a woman slams her door or shopping cart into my car and I see it, I will most certainly say something and file a claim. If a 10 year old kid accidentally knocks out my mirror, I'm not going to hold him responsible. I'm OCD about my cars, but shit happens and I can accept that.

Somebody agrees with me.

[radix]

right here


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[c0nstant]

Originally Posted by radix

right here


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O<--<

i just crossed your line. now what?

[radix]

Originally Posted by jh valley

O<--<

i just crossed your line. now what?

          _                         _
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         | |         /___\         | |
        _| |_      (| 'o' |)      _| |_
      _| | | | _    (_ - _)    _ | | | |_ 
     | | | | |' |    _| |_    | `| | | | |
     |          |   /     \   |          |
      \        /  / /(. .)\ \  \        /
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                    ooO Ooo

[wwjbd24]

jaykay's response is what i would try to base my actions by. but of course circumstance dictates actions, so take everything with a grain of salt.

[jopa489]

Originally Posted by JayKay335i

Somebody agrees with me.

That picture is priceless, haha..

[TiAg335i]

I have a pretty darn good bullshit detector and can quickly find out when someone is using me for my possessions. If I find out, I cut them off - simple as that.

If a stranger damages my personal property, and I evaluate the situation and decide it wasn't avoidable/purely accidental, I'll forgive them.

[AllydNYC]

I draw it on paper or when I play Line Rider on my iPhone.

[Verbiage]

I like how one of the exclamation marks is a 1 because someone probably didn't hold the shift key down long enough.

[c0nstant]

Originally Posted by Bavarian III

I like how one of the exclamation marks is a 1 because someone probably didn't hold the shift key down long enough.

lol..

[SoCali E36]

Originally Posted by Bavarian III

I like how one of the exclamation marks is a 1 because someone probably didn't hold the shift key down long enough.

thats part of the joke

[Verbiage]

Originally Posted by SoCali E90

thats part of the joke

Um. Duh. Thanks.

The point was not to reveal the sarcasm. Guess you missed it.

Edit: OBVIOUSLY you missed it