04-07-2010, 11:40 PM | #1 |
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Wise man quote thread
some of my favorites.... everyone post theirs
"Driving a fast honda or toyota is like coming out of the closet. Everyone is surprised at first but in the end your still gay. " "If everything seems under control, your just not going fast enough" -Mario Andretti "The history of the world is but the biography of great men." Thomas Carlyle "man who runs behind car gets exhausted" "man who runs in front of car gets tired" "We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered." - Tom Stoppard "Silence is foolish if we are wise, but wise if we are foolish." and yes i got this from another forum, wanted to see what all you guys favorites were
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04-08-2010, 12:03 AM | #2 |
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04-08-2010, 12:21 AM | #3 |
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Man who goes to bed with his ass itching wakes up with fingers smelling like shit.
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04-08-2010, 12:29 AM | #5 |
Where my bitches
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i was expecting yours to be in a pic
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04-08-2010, 12:40 AM | #7 |
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04-08-2010, 12:45 AM | #8 |
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Pain is only temporary- Arnold Schwarzenegger
I was watching him on Jay Leno and he was saying how when he first came here everyone was kinda looking down at him thinking that he would never be anything. Yet he tried harder and harder and finally got to where he is today. Then he said the quote above. Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them. - Abe Lincoln There are a few quotes that I really like but I can't recall them for the life of me. |
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04-08-2010, 12:53 AM | #9 | |
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Quote:
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04-08-2010, 01:16 AM | #10 |
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"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on" - Henry Ellis
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain |
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04-08-2010, 01:32 AM | #11 |
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04-08-2010, 09:29 AM | #13 |
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04-08-2010, 02:55 PM | #17 |
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04-08-2010, 05:05 PM | #18 |
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04-08-2010, 05:40 PM | #19 |
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04-08-2010, 07:12 PM | #20 |
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04-08-2010, 07:30 PM | #21 |
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One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to
do and always a clever thing to say. -- Will Durant I dunno, I dream in Perl sometimes... -- Larry Wall in <8538@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> QOTD: If you're looking for trouble, I can offer you a wide selection. Buck-passing usually turns out to be a boomerang. An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths. -- Karl Kraus If someone says he will do something "without fail", he won't. Do your part to help preserve life on Earth -- by trying to preserve your own. Max told his friend that he'd just as soon not go hiking in the hills. Said he, "I'm an anti-climb Max." [So is that punchline.] Q: What is the sound of one cat napping? A: Mu. Boss: You forgot to assign the result of your map! Hacker: Dang, I'm always forgetting my assignations... Boss: And what's that "goto" doing there?!? Hacker: Er, I guess my finger slipped when I was typing "getservbyport"... Boss: Ah well, accidents will happen. Maybe we should have picked APL. -- Larry Wall in <199710311732.JAA19169@wall.org> "Now I've got the bead on you with MY disintegrating gun. And when it disintegrates, it disintegrates. (pulls trigger) Well, what you do know, it disintegrated." -- Duck Dodgers in the 24th and a half century All parts should go together without forcing. You must remember that the parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you. Therefore, if you can't get them together again, there must be a reason. By all means, do not use a hammer. -- IBM maintenance manual, 1925 I went over to my friend, he was eatin' a pickle. I said "Hi, what's happenin'?" He said "Nothin'." Try to sing this song with that kind of enthusiasm; As if you just squashed a cop. -- Arlo Guthrie, "Motorcycle Song" If we want something nice to get born in nine months, then sex has to happen. We want to have the kind of sex that is acceptable and fun for both people, not the kind where someone is getting screwed. Let's get some cross fertilization, but not someone getting screwed. -- Larry Wall "I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV." My parents went to Niagara Falls and all I got was this crummy life. better !pout !cry better watchout lpr why santa claus < north pole > town cat /etc/passwd > list ncheck list ncheck list cat list | grep naughty > nogiftlist cat list | grep nice > giftlist santa claus < north pole > town who | grep sleeping who | grep awake who | grep bad || good for (goodness sake) { be good } Lots of people drink from the wrong bottle sometimes. -- Edith Keeler, "The City on the Edge of Forever", stardate unknown Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health. The IBM 2250 is impressive ... if you compare it with a system selling for a tenth its price. -- D. Cohen OK, enough hype. -- Larry Wall in the perl man page Alone, adj.: In bad company. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" If it happens once, it's a bug. If it happens twice, it's a feature. If it happens more than twice, it's a design philosophy. The magic of our first love is our ignorance that it can ever end. -- Benjamin Disraeli <Silvrbear> Oxymorons? I saw one yesterday - the pamphlet on "Taco Bell Nutritional Information" An Ada exception is when a routine gets in trouble and says 'Beam me up, Scotty'. Fifth Law of Applied Terror: If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book. Corollary: If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live. If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. -- Dorthy Parker I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. -- Gilda Radner One is not born a woman, one becomes one. -- Simone de Beauvoir Oh, give me a locus where the gravitons focus Where the three-body problem is solved, Where the microwaves play down at three degrees K, And the cold virus never evolved. (chorus) We eat algea pie, our vacuum is high, Our ball bearings are perfectly round. Our horizon is curved, our warheads are MIRVed, And a kilogram weighs half a pound. (chorus) If we run out of space for our burgeoning race No more Lebensraum left for the Mensch When we're ready to start, we can take Mars apart, If we just find a big enough wrench. (chorus) I'm sick of this place, it's just McDonald's in space, And living up here is a bore. Tell the shiggies, "Don't cry," they can kiss me goodbye 'Cause I'm moving next week to L4! (chorus) CHORUS: Home, home on LaGrange, Where the space debris always collects, We possess, so it seems, two of Man's greatest dreams: Solar power and zero-gee sex. -- to Home on the Range intoxicated, adj.: When you feel sophisticated without being able to pronounce it. Science is to computer science as hydrodynamics is to plumbing. 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He explained that he was entering a horse in a race the following week and the three assembled guys had the job of assuring that the gangster's horse would win. They were to reconvene the day before the race to tell the gangster how they each propose to ensure a win. When they reconvened the gangster started with the engineer: Gangster: OK, Mr. engineer, what have you got? Engineer: Well, I've invented a way to weave metallic threads into the saddle blanket so that they will act as the plates of a battery and provide electrical shock to the horse. G: That's very good! But let's hear from the chemist. Chemist: I've synthesized a powerful stimulant that disolves into simple blood sugars after ten minutes and therefore cannot be detected in post-race tests. G: Excellent, excellent! But I want to hear from the physicist before I decide what to do. Physicist? Physicist: Well, first consider a spherical horse in simple harmonic motion... No small art is it to sleep: it is necessary for that purpose to keep awake all day. -- Nietzsche Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund. -- F. J. Raymond For a young man, not yet: for an old man, never at all. -- Diogenes, asked when a man should marry When should a man marry? A young man, not yet; an elder man, not at all. -- Sir Francis Bacon, "Of Marriage and Single Life" My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's. -- Oscar Wilde Never call a man a fool. Borrow from him. Since before the Earth was formed and before the sun burned hot in space, cosmic forces of inexorable power have been working relentlessly toward this moment in space-time -- your receiving this fortune. 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The makers may make and the users may use, but the fixers must fix with but minimal clues You are fighting for survival in your own sweet and gentle way. "I'd love to go out with you, but I have to floss my cat." "Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk ?" Microsoft spel chekar vor sail, worgs grate !! (By leitner@inf.fu-berlin.de, Felix von Leitner) The state law of Pennsylvania prohibits singing in the bathtub. Fess: Well, you must admit there is something innately humorous about a man chasing an invention of his own halfway across the galaxy. Rod: Oh yeah, it's a million yuks, sure. But after all, isn't that the basic difference between robots and humans? Fess: What, the ability to form imaginary constructs? Rod: No, the ability to get hung up on them. -- Christopher Stasheff, "The Warlock in Spite of Himself" Executive ability is prominent in your make-up. The most exquisite peak in culinary art is conquered when you do right by a ham, for a ham, in the very nature of the process it has undergone since last it walked on its own feet, combines in its flavor the tang of smoky autumnal woods, the maternal softness of earthy fields delivered of their crop children, the wineyness of a late sun, the intimate kiss of fertilizing rain, and the bite of fire. You must slice it thin, almost as thin as this page you hold in your hands. The making of a ham dinner, like the making of a gentleman, starts a long, long time before the event. -- W.B. Courtney, "Reflections of Maryland Country Ham", from "Congress Eate It Up" After 14 non-maintainer releases, I'm the S-Lang non-maintainer. -- Ray Dassen Dinosaurs aren't extinct. They've just learned to hide in the trees. The hatred of relatives is the most violent. -- Tacitus (c.55 - c.117) The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. -W.C. Fields [May one] doubt whether, in cheese and timber, worms are generated, or, if beetles and wasps, in cow-dung, or if butterflies, locusts, shellfish, snails, eels, and such life be procreated of putrefied matter, which is to receive the form of that creature to which it is by formative power disposed[?] To question this is to question reason, sense, and experience. If he doubts this, let him go to Egypt, and there he will find the fields swarming with mice begot of the mud of the Nylus, to the great calamity of the inhabitants. A seventeenth century opinion quoted by L. L. Woodruff, in *The Evolution of Earth and Man*, 1929 [From the operation manual for the CI-300 Dot Matrix Line Printer, made in Japan]: The excellent output machine of MODEL CI-300 as extraordinary DOT MATRIX LINE PRINTER, built in two MICRO-PROCESSORs as well as EAROM, is featured by permitting wonderful co-existence such as; "high quality against low cost," "diversified functions with compact design," "flexibility in accessibleness and durability of approx. 2000,000,00 Dot/Head," "being sophisticated in mechanism but possibly agile operating under noises being extremely suppressed" etc. And as a matter of course, the final goal is just simply to help achieve "super shuttle diplomacy" between cool data, perhaps earned by HOST COMPUTER, and warm heart of human being. Finally, Zippy drives his 1958 RAMBLER METROPOLITAN into the faculty dining room. Words are the voice of the heart. The basic idea behind malls is that they are more convenient than cities. Cities contain streets, which are dangerous and crowded and difficult to park in. Malls, on the other hand, have parking lots, which are also dangerous and crowded and difficult to park in, but -- here is the big difference -- in mall parking lots, THERE ARE NO RULES. You're allowed to do anything. You can drive as fast as you want in any direction you want. I was once driving in a mall parking lot when my car was struck by a pickup truck being driven backward by a squat man with a tattoo that said "Charlie" on his forearm, who got out and explained to me, in great detail, why the accident was my fault, his reasoning being that he was violent and muscular, whereas I was neither. This kind of reasoning is legally valid in mall parking lots. -- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide" |
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04-08-2010, 10:09 PM | #22 |
An ex-addict :-(
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WTF is wrong with you? you're ruining the thread!
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