[SpeedRacer69]

Hey Guys,

Currently I am a college student. With ridiculous interest rates at 1.8% for 6 mos. for example on bankaholic.com...

-Is there a website for "Dummies" on how to invest into buying stocks and reselling them?
-Better yet, is there a website for buying and selling shares of stock for dummies? I think it would be best to invest in this rather then take that money to the casino and play blackjack lol... Any input for the fastest return? Thanks.

[ghosthi32]

sell blow
sell hookers
profit

[FStop7]

gold

[Turbo>NA]

Gold always goes up.

And for the OP

Take the 5k and buy 5k worth of lotto tickets. Im sure you will hit something

[J-9]

Read "The Last Investment Guide You'll Ever Need" by Andrew Tobias. Then read it again. Then put it next to your computer screen for easy reference.

Tobias would tell you to fund all of the "boring" crap first, like: IRA, 401(k), 6 month cash emergency fund, and everything that lets you compound tax-free over time. If you intend to risk without all this done first, just go to Vegas with your 5K and play something you enjoy.

Once that's done, here's what I did:

1. Open a brokerage account at Etrade.
2. Buy shares in a company that you're interested in and then start reading up on the fundamentals, quarterly reports, earnings, 10K filings, etc. Nothing gets you more interested in the business than having your money on the line.
- I'll caveat: if the company you get has a P/E of over 22, don't get it. I had a coworker get a company with a P/E of 50 and watch it get halved overnight. Then halved again before the week was done. He lost over $37K, and it was still a viable business, just WAY overpriced.

And Gold doesn't always go up. I made $4000 shorting it in January. Interest rates are low, so speculators bought into gold creating the bubble you see now. If I had more cash, I'd enter the short position again. Don't buy all the crap you hear about how it's the safest asset. It's a commodity that's just as volatile as oil.

Edit: If you're thinking of taking out a low-interest loan and beating the interest payments by being a pattern day-trader, forget it. The SEC requires a minimum $25K worth of cash or stock kept in the brokerage account you trade with. You can't go below it or your broker will force you to sell your shares to meet the requirement, and they'll freeze your trading until you cough up the money. You'll only be able to make a couple trades per day as an amateur.

[Scorpion]

Originally Posted by ghosthi32

sell blow
sell hookers
profit

Wouldn't you need to buy the hookers first lol.

[E90 87ss]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

Wouldn't you need to buy the hookers first lol.

You basically kidnap them. 5,000 would be for operational expense.

[samwoo2go]

I would have a forum post number lottery. Winner gets a $5000 hooker sent to their house for 1 night of unlimited rim job + loving....so sweet... and I would feel good about investing in e90post.

[Derek Zoolander]

Invest in not paying for a brand new BMW as a college student.

[Buegie]

Originally Posted by Derek Zoolander

Invest in not paying for a brand new BMW as a college student.

lol true, though maybe it was a gift or something

[Kensta335]

Put it all on Red in roulette.

[Gavin@MMW]

Originally Posted by ghosthi32

sell blow
sell hookers
profit

Steps to investing 5K -
1. Acquire blow, cut it, now you have 1/4 more then what you started at. Use baking soda, not baking powder... People will have muffins growing out of their noses.

2. sell for a 40% mark up

3. Purchase a chinchilla coat.

4. Re-up - Repeat.

[Alexander]

Originally Posted by Craven 328

Steps to investing 5K -
1. Acquire blow, cut it, now you have 1/4 more then what you started at. Use baking soda, not baking powder... People will have muffins growing out of their noses.

2. sell for a 40% mark up

3. Purchase a chinchilla coat.

4. Re-up - Repeat.

Yeah I'm with his idea. Also buy a Glock.

[samwoo2go]

Hey we sell Chinchilla coats

[Cyrax91]

Originally Posted by Kensta335

Put it all on Red in roulette.

Black

[bolinp78]

I would quit my job and buy an ice cream truck if I were you.

[radix]

Originally Posted by samwoo2go

Hey we sell Chinchilla coats

How many squirrels must die for you to look fly?

[Elie335]

You can't do anything with $5k that will gives you lots of gain, So i'd say gold too.

[samwoo2go]

Originally Posted by radix

How many squirrels must die for you to look fly?

none, its not squirrel fur lol

[Gavin@MMW]

Originally Posted by Aonarch

Yeah I'm with his idea. Also buy a Glock.

That will be item 2.a

[dth656]

agree w/ the boring stuff, that is probably a good starting point.

in terms of investing in equities, when i was in b school i learned about the amount of monkey business you can find in a 10-K or company annual report even WITHIN GAAP accounting rules, so i tend to be leery about any company. however, i do realize that is a minority opinion, and inflation is liable to wipe out any gains u might have via a plan old savings account or CD...

Originally Posted by J-9

Read "The Last Investment Guide You'll Ever Need" by Andrew Tobias. Then read it again. Then put it next to your computer screen for easy reference.

Tobias would tell you to fund all of the "boring" crap first, like: IRA, 401(k), 6 month cash emergency fund, and everything that lets you compound tax-free over time. If you intend to risk without all this done first, just go to Vegas with your 5K and play something you enjoy.

Once that's done, here's what I did:

1. Open a brokerage account at Etrade.
2. Buy shares in a company that you're interested in and then start reading up on the fundamentals, quarterly reports, earnings, 10K filings, etc. Nothing gets you more interested in the business than having your money on the line.
- I'll caveat: if the company you get has a P/E of over 22, don't get it. I had a coworker get a company with a P/E of 50 and watch it get halved overnight. Then halved again before the week was done. He lost over $37K, and it was still a viable business, just WAY overpriced.

And Gold doesn't always go up. I made $4000 shorting it in January. Interest rates are low, so speculators bought into gold creating the bubble you see now. If I had more cash, I'd enter the short position again. Don't buy all the crap you hear about how it's the safest asset. It's a commodity that's just as volatile as oil.

Edit: If you're thinking of taking out a low-interest loan and beating the interest payments by being a pattern day-trader, forget it. The SEC requires a minimum $25K worth of cash or stock kept in the brokerage account you trade with. You can't go below it or your broker will force you to sell your shares to meet the requirement, and they'll freeze your trading until you cough up the money. You'll only be able to make a couple trades per day as an amateur.

[J-9]

Originally Posted by Kensta335

Put it all on Red in roulette.

On second thought, just do this.