[CraigG]

Somehow I stumbled upon this toolbag...



And thought to myself, 'Who the hell would swim handcuffed?' Much to my suprise there was a man who did it often, and did it well. His name was Jack Lalanne.

Unlike the 'Dude You're Gettin a Dell' wannabe pictured above, Jack was a man, not some surfer punk who wants to raise money for starving kids in Cambodia, how many people could even point out where the hell Cambodia is on a map?! I personally can't, and I don't know anyone that could besides my friend ex-girlfriend (She was Cambodian, and a psycopath, and now shes a coke snorting stripper, seriously).

Anyways, here is a short list of Jack Lalannes swimming handcufftedly acheivements:

* 1955 Age 41: Swam handcuffed from Alcatraz to Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco, CA.
* 1974 Age 60: Swam from Alcatraz Island to Fisherman’s Wharf, for a second time handcuffed, shackled and towing a 1,000-pound boat.
* 1975 Age 61: Swam the length of the Golden Gate Bridge, underwater, for a second time handcuffed, shackled and towing a 1,000-pound boat.
* 1979 Age 65: Towed 65 boats filled with 6,500-pounds of Lousiana Pacific wood pulp while handcuffed and shackled in Lake Ashinoko, near Tokyo, Japan.
* 1984 Age 70: Handcuffed, shackled and fighting strong winds and currents, towed 70 boats with 70 people from the Queen’s Way Bridge in the Long Beach Harbor to the Queen Mary for 1 ½ miles.

So screw you, Joe Bodia, in your half assed attempts to be like my man Jack.

Here is jack, handcuffed, towing a line of boats during one of his many feats. What a manly man Jack was.






Now go back to whatever you were doing, and thank you for allowing me to pointlessly devour approximately three to four minutes of your precious saturday afternoon.

[findtom]

Pics of cambodian psycho coke snorting stripper ex-girlfriend?

[CraigG]

Uhm, let me check...I'll work on it.

[just4kickz]

booo! poser!