[Desi]

This past Friday night I finished up my degree at the University of Ottawa by writing my last exam, and come Saturday night I was back at my part time job: driving a taxi in the city of Ottawa, Canada. So Saturday night at about 4-am after the bar scene was all packed up and gone home, when our small city lay silent and I was driving home to get some much needed sleep, I started thinking. I had started driving a taxi part time just over three years prior in the summer between my first and second year of university. In these three short years, I had been through a lot and amassed a huge amount of stories and tales to tell. So, why not tell them? In my free time, and if there is enough interest, I will post my taxi-tales on this board and at least one or two others that I frequent.

Let's start at the begining, I'll come back to the backstory about how and why I landed this gig later on.

Day One: It's about 5:00pm on a Tuesday night just over three years ago. I go to my new "office" parked in my driveway, a 2002 Black Chevrolet Impala with about 300,000km on the clock. I jump in the drivers seat, threw the magnetic roofsign on the car, og on to the dispatch system, set my mirrors, crank up some tunes put on my shades and pull out of the driveway; I was the youngest licensed cab driver at only 19 years old, and I thought I was hot shit and had an image to maintain.

Its a Tuesday night and I had been told that there is, effectively, no bar scene and that this late the downtown is dead since we are a government town and the bureaucrats all takeoff early and leave downtown abandoned. Apparently, my best bet was to rely on shopping centres in the not so great parts of town because the people that don't have cars are the ones that use cabs to go buy groceries. Makes sense. I roll out to a shopping centre in not quite the seedier part of town, but not quite the greatest either. I pull in to the taxi stand, there are no other cars: "Cool, I'm first up and should get the fare quickly! Easy money here I come!". Yea, not quite. I sat at that taxi stand for about 4 hours until about 9:30 pm. Other drivers came and went, assuring me that it isn't normally this dead, I read 3 local daily newspapers cover to cover and played games on my cell. Fuck, this job is boring. What did I get myself in to?

9:30pm, I'm trying not to fall asleep, my dispatch computer starts beeping. "FARE WAITING" it proclaims. Fuckin' A, lets go! I accept it. Fuck, the address is on a street called "Compton Ave." I have no idea where it is, and maybe it was just the result of listening to too much rap music, but something about my first fare being from "Compton" was just... worrisome.

I look up the address in my map book and proceed to the house. I get there, pull into the driveway, ring the doorbell and make my way back to my car. Within about 3 minutes, 4 girls (all of which I would classify as 8s or higher) come out and jump in my car. They ask my to take them to a local bar. Cool, that's what I'm here for. At this point I should note that we don't have dividers in our cars. I start driving and its pretty uneventful until we hit a red light. The gril in the back middle seat says "Hey, driver, look back here for a second... I want your opinion!". Seems harmless, I turn around and look back and she proceeds to remove her tank-top. "Do these look symmetrical? I just had them done?" I'm flabergasted. That has got to be the last thing I expected. I'm usually good on my feet and quite outspoken but was just speechless. Light turns green and I just silently keep going, with these chicks laughing. The one in the front grabs my hand off the column shift and trys to forrce it to her friend in the backseat... "Feel them, they feel natural!" I just let out a quiet "I'd rather not..." I ain't going to jail to feel a pair of tits, I know that much. Plus they scared the shit outta us in training with regards to sexual assuailt.

I get to the destination. $13 they give me $20 and the one girl looks at me and says "Your loss", winks, and they take off.

I decide to call it a night after a single fare. Grab some Wendy's, gas up, and go home. This wasn't going to be your typical student job, I had figured out that much on day one.

Stories to come:
-Backstory
-SWAT Extraction from my cab
-Street-Hooker: "Hey, I know you!"
-My first use of the "Driver in Trouble" system
-Battle Royale: My customers vs. a gang of asians
-The Immigrant Hotline
-Taxi Driver vigilante justice
-A band thanking me on Much Music (Canada's MTV)
-Politicians and Celebrities
-Legendary Fares (once due to Obama!)
-Fighting the law
-Helping "The Man" securing a Rape conviction
-Crazy nights (St Pattys, New Years, Canada Day)
-Drug dealers with a gun
-& more!

[aut0sh0cker]

you promised, and you delivered!

[MCMLXXXIX]

lol

[E90SLAM]

keep them coming!

[Scorpion]

Cańt wait to read the others lol.

[Express]

time to make a thread like this.

[Year's_End]

sull-ehris-nyne

[Razzy]

wow. To-be epicness confirmed. Desi, quick question: Your brown right?

[montreal red]

nice little thread! will be looking forward to your other posts.

[Seminole]

Don't be like Spool and not finish your stories...

[Cyber]

cant wait for

-Street-Hooker: "Hey, I know you!"

[305e92]

rak on tur'

[Express]

cant wait for driver in trouble.

thats like the little tools we have : PILOTS IN TROUBLE. havent used tat one yet.

[335_i]

Originally Posted by Desi

Battle Royale: My customers vs. a gang of asians

can't wait for this one

also, to hell with the harassment laws...I would have juggled those tits with my free hand like a one armed juggling clown on speed...and i would have twisted the nips like a kid playing with a Dreidel on Hanukkah trying to land on the gimmel....also, you never know....if you played with it and got her excited...you may have ended up with a happy ending and the title of the story would have been..."The Time I Scored With a Chick from Compton"

[JeF4y]

I hopped into a cab in Vegas 2 weeks ago. The cabbie just farted. Smelled a horrid combination of shit and curry.

[MCMLXXXIX]

ok ...more

[choicez]

I wanna hear more stories! The more R rated, the better

[wuufer001]

MOAR!!!

[jpsum]

wait, you're a student and has a part time job driving a taxi? Why did you get a bimmer? Why not save the much needed money?

[bolty]

you had me hook, line and sinker bud.

Cant wait for more!

[InsaneSkippy]

haha that was awesome! My GF's parents live in Ottawa and I go up there like once or twice a year.

[Desi]

Razzy, yes, I'm brown. Born and raised in Canada, but of east-indian descent.

jpsum: I bought a Bimmer because I can. University in Canada is actually pretty cheap, $5,000/2 semesters. I only "had" to work a little bit driving the cab to pay for my tuition and necessary expenses, and then voluntarily worked for more hours because I wanted a bimmer. Simple. Plus its not like I pumped every penny I made into buying a car.

Everone else: Glad you liked the first one. I'll post more when I get home, taking the cab out tonight for a few hours. Plus I'm aggravated as hell, my Bimmer was rear-ended and I just got it back from the dealership and it looks like shit. I wanted to trade it in on an e92 and now they are offering me like $6k less because of an $8,500 repair, and all for something that I had no control over (I was stopped at a red light...).