[TXSTYLE]

So i remember eati g various Protein Bars back in the day especially when I was a "Swinging Single Gym Rat".

These days I generally don't eat them much any more. But I came across a great special online and ordered a few boxes.
I noticed after eating them, they give me furious gas! Anyone else? If so why or which ingredient?

[yco]

well it depends on the ratio how much casein or whey is being used in that protein bar.. both in the end is the by-product of milk.. and it can test your lactose intolerance which means if you can go to moon by your own propelling system or not..

[TXSTYLE]

This appears to explain it: https://www.self.com/story/protein-f...loating-cramps

Surprised no more comments on this?

[Haywood]

I'm seriously lactose intolerant so I usually only eat Larabars and RX bars. They don't have many added ingredients.

[TXSTYLE]

Originally Posted by Haywood

I'm seriously lactose intolerant so I usually only eat Larabars and RX bars. They don't have many added ingredients.

I'll check those out. Let's face it... Protein Bars are a fast, convenient and healthy way to supplement and diet.

[Rmtt]

I was going to say glycerin as that can really upset someone's stomach. But I read where quest doesn't have it in it.

I actually make my own....well brownies actually.

I use Beverly UMP. It's a company that's been around since the 60's. Built off of Rheo Blair's principal....he is probably the founding father of protein powder.

But with Beverly UMP, you can cook with it. Pancakes, waffles, brownies, etc.

Plus they are one of the higher quality products out there with the history to back it up.

[strohw]

The primary cause of stomach issues with protein bars for me is the fake sugars or sugar alcohols. Quest is a brand I can't eat because it's all they use to sweeten their products. Any protein bar that advertises very low sugar on it's packaging is using them. Companies like Quest also put them in their protein powders.

[TXSTYLE]

Originally Posted by strohw

The primary cause of stomach issues with protein bars for me is the fake sugars or sugar alcohols. Quest is a brand I can't eat because it's all they use to sweeten their products. Any protein bar that advertises very low sugar on it's packaging is using them. Companies like Quest also put them in their protein powders.

True. And Erythritol is definitely in these.

[strohw]

If you want funny stories related to the fake sugars look up "sugar free haribo gummy bears" if you're not already familiar with them. They don't make them anymore so can't just go to an Amazon page to read them.

[TXSTYLE]

Originally Posted by strohw

If you want funny stories related to the fake sugars look up "sugar free haribo gummy bears" if you're not already familiar with them. They don't make them anymore so can't just go to an Amazon page to read them.

Decided to search up. Humor did not disappoint...

See you in hell, Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears
Flavor: Gold Bears
It was my last class of the semester, and the final exam was worth 30% of our grade.
After a late night study session I felt confident, but I had to decide between sleeping in or cooking breakfast. My eyelids chose sleep.
My stomach later regretted this decision, and after several uncomfortable stomach growls, I finally decided to make a quick stop by the campus bookstore and grab a snack before my test. Since the semester was ending and everyone was going home for the summer, a lot of items were on sale, including the snacks and candy that they kept up front. Being in the hungry state that I was in, it felt only logical to pick the largest, yet least expensive candy in order to get more bang for my buck.
And there they sat: two bags of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears, buy one get one free.
"What a deal!" I thought naïvely. I would eat one bag before my test, and one bag afterwards.
As I walked to class, I gleefully chewed on those abominable little bastards, unaware of the utter mayhem that they would soon unleash upon my poor, poor anus.
I sat down at my desk as the professor informed us that, due to issues with cheating in the past, restroom breaks would be prohibited until the completion of the exam.
"I'll give you 10 minutes to use the restroom now; this will be your last chance. Any takers?"
The demon bears hadn't released their unholy necromancy upon my stomach yet, so in my moment of ignorant foolishness, I remained seated, still munching on those miniature bear-shaped bombs.
After the students wise enough to take the professor's offer had returned, the professor handed out the test. I was six questions in when it happened.
It started subtly at first, almost like a slight tingly sensation in my lower abdomen. I thought nothing of it, assuming my intestines were just doing their thang. Little did I know that my intestines were trying desperately to warn me of the horror that was on the horizon.
By question 9 it happened again, but this time it was followed by a sharp pain, as if those infernal hellions had orchestrated an attack upon my colon. I fought to contain the groan that tried escaping my lips. It was at this point I began to panic; something was going horribly long, and I needed to get through this test before it got any worse.
By question 14 my worst fear was upon me; the Satan bears' burning, hot, liquidy dark magic crashed against my anal sphincter like a tidal wave. I was able to close the hatch just in time, but those relentless, toxic bears beat against it like Orcs breaking down the doors of Helm's Deep. I knew I wouldn't be able to so much as shift in my seat without risking a breach.
I kept fighting through my exam, clenching my cheeks with all my might. Beads of sweat began rolling down my neck. Suddenly, a loud, gurgling war cry came from my belly, and the entire class lifted their heads.
At this point, nothing mattered except expelling this ungodly presence from my bowels. With 15 questions left, I promptly wrote C for every answer and ran out of the classroom. My professor yelled something, but I was too preoccupied with the volcanic eruption that needed to take place before I could find sweet, sweet relief.
I burst into the restroom like the Kool-Aid man and, behold, the handicap stall was empty. Sun rays from the adjacent window shone upon it, as if it were a gift from God himself. It took me less than .5 seconds to undo my belt buckle, pull down my pants, and finally relax my weary buttocks upon the toilet seat.
It took absolutely no effort to expel this demon. Almost immediately, the floodgates of hell were opened and the damned, liquified souls of an entire bag's worth of gummi bears cried as they burned through my sphincter and into the watery abyss below. I had never felt such simultaneous relief and anguish in my life.
After 30 more minutes of this, I immediately went home, dug a hole in my backyard, and burned the remaining bag of gummi bears.
I leave with this; do not, I repeat do NOT eat these spawns of Satan. Not only did they cause me to fail my final test, but the anguish I experienced is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. The only place these god forsaken hell bears belong are buried deep below the Earth's surface.
11,280 people found this helpful