[Tondtar]

A visitor's Guide to Los Angeles


You must first learn to pronounce the city name; it is " L.A. " (Pronounced, "El Lay")

The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday, just after noon.

The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On the 105 or 110, our speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered 'Wussy.'

Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. L.A. has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop (specially Bimmers); the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Malibu , SUV-driving, cell-phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

If you actually stop at a yellow light you will be rear ended, cussed out, and probably shot.

Never honk at anyone -- EVER! Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.

Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of L.A. and Orange Counties, and it is now expanding into Riverside and San Bernardino Counties . Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment and pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving "a bit more exciting."

MapQuest does not work here--none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do, and the freeway off and on ramps are moved each night.

If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally activated.'

If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55 - 65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped-off' accordingly. If you return the flip, you will be shot.

Do not try to estimate travel time-- just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning

And finally, why is the L.A. Freeway called the '405?' Because no matter where you are going, it takes 4 or 5 hours to get there.


Welcome to Paradise ! ...You can be on your own now
Good luck

[FirstClass]

All these problems are the result of your suburbs in search of a city. They call these collective suburbs "L.A."

[flyer333]

lol

[!Xoible]

love this thread

[Crimson92]

sadly enough...its all true

[E90SLAM]

[NPDAN]

Ha ha pretty funny...

[!Xoible]

hahaha u know it's true dan lol

[PaulBailey@ltbmw]

Ah it is true
I think i spend 90% of my life on the 405 going between 4 & 5 MPH

[ksfrogman]

Driving in L.A. certainly has changed over the past few decades. People used to be very courteous and actually use their turn signals when changing lanes. Now they just cut in front of you.

[PaulBailey@ltbmw]

Guess i wouldn't really know because i have been driving for that many decades. . . But i do i know that i pass through the Torrence area every day on my drive from Huntington beach to Manhattan Beach and back. . . Traffic is pretty shity there!

[jlspeed29]

this is both scary and true!

[jlspeed29]

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