| 03-02-2006, 03:56 AM | #1 |
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Joke i read... wanted to share...
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends
$5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about 29." The woman replies, "Nope I'm 50." Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I am 50, but thank you." While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are." They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead." He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast...He gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?" He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50." Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?' The old man says, "promise you won't get mad?" "I promise I won't." she says. "I was behind you in line at McDonald's." |
| 03-02-2006, 08:08 AM | #2 |
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thats a very good one
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| 03-02-2006, 01:29 PM | #4 |
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Funny.
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| 03-02-2006, 05:54 PM | #5 | |
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Quote:
That's pretty good. 
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330xi/Sparkling Graphite/Terra/Walnut Burl/Steptronic/Sports Package/Heated Seats/Comfort Access...(blacklines, tint and a black grill).
http://www.e90post.com/forums/e90gar...20TINT%20A.jpg  |
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| 03-02-2006, 08:11 PM | #7 |
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Age
That's a variant of this joke
Woman in dementia unit of nursing home says to man: I can guess your age by feeling you balls. Man: No f*in way. Woman: Sure I can. I can tell exactly. Man: Bet you $20 Woman: you're on. Drop em. Man (dropping pants) Go ahead. Woman (fondling balls): You're 84 and 3 months. Man (Pulling up pants): Holy cow! How did you know (handing her $20 bill). Woman: You told me yesterday. |
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| 03-03-2006, 01:18 AM | #8 | |
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Quote:
 |
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| 03-03-2006, 01:34 AM | #9 | |
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Quote:
 The old man knew what he was doing.
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330xi/Sparkling Graphite/Terra/Walnut Burl/Steptronic/Sports Package/Heated Seats/Comfort Access...(blacklines, tint and a black grill).
http://www.e90post.com/forums/e90gar...20TINT%20A.jpg Last edited by RGRAY; 03-03-2006 at 04:14 AM.. |
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| 03-03-2006, 03:27 PM | #10 | |
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Remembrances of Birthdays past
Quote:
I guess she did the math. Demented women probably remember their anniversary, something many men of sound mind have trouble remembering... Heard this one on the Sat Radio.. Pressman: Mr. Reagan, during your presidency, was it boxers or briefs? R Reagan (thinking): Depends... |
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| 03-03-2006, 03:32 PM | #11 |
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| 03-08-2007, 03:59 PM | #16 |
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thats really good
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| 04-24-2007, 10:47 PM | #17 |
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Hahahaha.
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