08-02-2019, 02:37 PM | #2003 |
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08-02-2019, 02:59 PM | #2004 |
I can haz cheezburger?
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08-02-2019, 03:03 PM | #2005 |
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I'd like to start it now. I'm trying to read and redline a 16 page contract since this morning. I have the attention span of a gnat right now, my brain is about to drip out my ears. So where am I, on BP OT.
Happy Friday, boys and girls.
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I thought I was a good person but the way I react when people drive slowly in the left lane would suggest otherwise
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08-02-2019, 03:07 PM | #2006 |
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I’m in hour 4 of an all day videoconference that has two more hours to go. I need those Homer Simpson eyeglasses with the fake open eyeballs
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08-06-2019, 11:01 PM | #2008 |
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So if a spouse threatens divorce because you have car parts stacked up in the living room for more than a month....are those actually legitimate grounds? Asking for a friend....
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08-07-2019, 12:38 AM | #2009 |
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I never had mcdonalds breakfast, until today
got the bacon egg and cheese griddle thing it was great, felt like i was inducing diabetes and coronary heart disease at the same time |
08-07-2019, 07:27 AM | #2010 |
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I hadn't eaten at McDonalds in 2 years, not because I was avoiding it but because I just ate other things and there was a cafe at work. My new job location doesn't have a cafe and there is a McD's down the street so I ate there yesterday. I regretted it for the rest of the day. My stomach literally hurt.
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08-07-2019, 08:24 AM | #2011 |
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I don't eat fast food but damn, those egg mcmuffins call to me every now and then.
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08-07-2019, 08:58 AM | #2012 | |
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08-07-2019, 09:15 AM | #2013 | ||
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"Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."
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08-07-2019, 11:00 AM | #2014 |
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So my wife found a pair of women's underwear that wasn't hers in our laundry basket. She brought this to my attention.
Someone has a confession to make, but I've honestly nothing to do with it. I've never cheated, never would, and I have only one idea how they got there. We are both thinking it is our cleaning lady / housekeeper - she does all our laundry and folds it. But there's the thing - she folded this underwear...if it were hers, why did she leave it there? Plus, we'd be a little perturbed if she was doing her laundry at our house while we are paying her to do work for us. I certainly hope she fesses up because otherwise, I have no idea how I prove that the underwear has nothing to do with me. Thus far, my wife has been very good about it and accepted my word, but I know this is bugging her...and if she's using our appliances for her own stuff, what else is she using or helping herself to while she's supposed to be doing a job we are paying her for. Feels kind of like we are being used. Interesting though...we are going to leave the underwear out with a note tonight as she comes in tomorrow...see what she says. I'd prefer to confront her, but neither of us can be there in person tomorrow and she only comes one day a week. |
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08-07-2019, 11:15 AM | #2015 | ||
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also - as for your wife you can go with two things it seems. you can get a gift: that might be received as a "sorry i fucked up" gift. you could just not bring it up: you could be blamed for trying to sleep on the issue. so as *helpful* this has been as i'm sure you thought of these options too, i wish you the best and keep us posted! Quote:
they arent bad... but they are bland. for 250 calories it's really filling though, 800mg sodium is WAY too much. |
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08-07-2019, 11:52 AM | #2016 | |
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Deny...Deny...Deny....even if by chance if it was a mistake on your part which I believe you and it isn't....you still deny.
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08-07-2019, 12:47 PM | #2018 | |||
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I really did have nothing to do with it and no idea how it got there if it wasn't the cleaning lady bringing her own laundry into our house and doing it while she was supposed to be working. So since I didn't do anything wrong, I'm definitely not getting her any gifts which will be perceived as me being guilty. But you better believe I denied it. Stupidly I did so with a smile on my face the first time because I thought I was being put on and this was all a joke, but I've seriously told her I've nothing to do with it after I realized it wasn't a joke. |
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08-07-2019, 01:06 PM | #2019 |
I'll get back to you
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is cleaning lady hott?
we had to fire one cleaning lady because my ex found her drinking straight out of the orange juice container
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08-07-2019, 01:20 PM | #2020 |
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Joekerr No kids at home? A son that could have brought home a souvenir?
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08-07-2019, 01:29 PM | #2021 | |
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And we aren't talking about the Arnold Schwarzenegger cleaning lady scale either.
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08-07-2019, 01:35 PM | #2022 |
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08-07-2019, 02:14 PM | #2023 | ||
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Joe, you should have told her that you had been planning to dress up in these panties for her for a special night of "Panty Joe." When she expresses her discontent with this idea, that's when you act disappointed that you were going to put Panty Joe out there and now your feelings are hurt. Now she will begin to process all of this, then realize this was really big move for you to make and guilt will set in. She will then nurture you and try her damnedest to make you feel better about it. This, of course, may result in you actually adorning said panty and putting on a show. No one said saving a marriage is easy buddy. Take one for the team.......then share Panty Joe with the rest of the class. So here is my take: The house keeper, for whatever reason, needed to wash her drawers while she was at your house. It could be for a number of reasons. We're all adults here, shit happens....literally....amongst other things. I'll be honest, if I were a house keeper and needed to clean my shorts, I wouldn't think twice about tossing them in with my clients laundry while they are out of the home. What does puzzle me, is that how it slipped her mind to not put them back on, especially when she folded her own panties and then placed them in your laundry. There is only one explanation to this. The gorilla that escaped the zoo......yes, the very same gorilla from Water Boy that punched Bobby Boucher in the eye, is still on the loose. (No mamma, the soich continues" ) I deduct that the very same gorilla broke into your home while the house keeper was doing her job. It literally scared the shit out of her, thus the wash. The gorilla then hid inside your home, fell asleep and then was startled when she stumbled across him. He was startled to a degree that he went ape-shit () and beat her about the head and shoulders and delivered her a flury of blows to the midsection. At this point she has now fallen to 1980's sitcom style amnesia, forgets and simply doesn't recognize her own panties. See.....just all one big misunderstanding......huh.....Panty Joe? Now let's move on to option 2. Just how honest is your wife? I know people that do some crazy stuff, then when trace evidence is left behind; they are all too quick to try and place blame elsewhere. Perhaps your wife's "friend" left her knickers at your domicile and this was your wife's sneaky way of putting you in the hot seat as to avoid you questioning her. Last edited by King Rudi; 08-07-2019 at 02:21 PM.. |
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08-07-2019, 02:49 PM | #2024 | |
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Panty Joe might actually be hilarious. And very discomforting for my wife who had an uncle go that way. My wife is very honest though...I don't see scenario 2 being likely at all. She has no free time anyhow as she works outside the home so I have no idea how she could even pull it off if it were even a remote possibility. I know she wouldn't do that though. But I like the way your mind works! |
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