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      12-01-2015, 02:44 PM   #17139
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We need a business plan to make this town profitable... $250k is a cheap investment, but building up houses and brothels would take a lot of funds, and we'd have to attract residents somehow.
Alright, we've got 6.6 acres to work with. Since land is at a premium, we're going to have to import a lot of supplies rather than try to be self sufficient.

I'm thinking we're going to need at least 1 acre for Knob Creek 2.0. This will be a big attraction and moneymaker with the local hunters.

The barn, bar, and house (brothel) probably take up an acre. Also a big visitor destination. Food and drink out here is a great attraction to our town.

The track simply will not fit within our borders, unless we plan to run our town as a 24/7 road course, which is too much of a liability. Looks like we'll need to purchase some adjacent land, which is an additional expense.

Down to logistics, housing 40 residents @ a comfortable 1000 sqft each is almost exactly an acre which seems like too much to commit to for a town this size. But I think we can start building up into multi levels if we provide a large apartment/mansion type structure with public infrastructure for garage space and parks. This could probably be done in a couple acres.

40 residents @ 2 shots of whiskey per day is 29,200 shots = 228 gal. * 1.7 lb/gal of whiskey production = 387 lb of corn. / 35 lb/bushel = 11 bushels of corn / 100 bushels/acre because we're shit farmers = .11 acres for corn production. We'll double it to .25 acre and double that for winter greenhouse space = .5 acres. I think we ignore this and simply purchase corn and save the land for the distillery. This could be a major export for our town regionally.

The goat farm will be difficult as well. At an average of 4 goats per acre, we're low on space to provide them the space they need. Therefore, I think we fence in our entire town and pass a no-paving law. Thus we'll have up to 25 free range goats in our town at all times. It makes the town seem more friendly and inviting, gives us a quirky appeal, and goats. Goats.

I've used up all my thinking power for the day. Work is gonna be productive this afternoon.
Dude - I like the way you think.....but you are forgetting something very important.....

We own the air above us as well....who says housing must be lateral....think vertical

1 acre foot print, but vertical is not as limiting....
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      12-01-2015, 02:46 PM   #17140
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Can we declare ourselves a cult and qualify for tax exempt status? Tax free escort services might be the competitive edge we need to aggressively market our wares.
Scientology anyone...
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She stood there. Pointed a finger at me and laughed at me. That damn bitch.
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Poop shit, shit and poop. I'm mildly angry now.
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      12-01-2015, 02:46 PM   #17141
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You guys are really toying with my emotions here. I really seriously want to buy Douchebagville. We have to act fast. Someone come up with a business plan!
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      12-01-2015, 02:48 PM   #17142
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You guys are really toying with my emotions here. I really seriously want to buy Douchebagville. We have to act fast. Someone come up with a business plan!
Sounds like you nominated yourself....small town folk must wear many hats....

TV host, News reporter, tour guide...
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She stood there. Pointed a finger at me and laughed at me. That damn bitch.
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Poop shit, shit and poop. I'm mildly angry now.
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      12-01-2015, 02:50 PM   #17143
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You guys are really toying with my emotions here. I really seriously want to buy Douchebagville. We have to act fast. Someone come up with a business plan!
We need working capital first, then attorneys.
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      12-01-2015, 02:54 PM   #17144
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Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bimmette
You guys are really toying with my emotions here. I really seriously want to buy Douchebagville. We have to act fast. Someone come up with a business plan!
Sounds like you nominated yourself....small town folk must wear many hats....

TV host, News reporter, tour guide...
No, I nominate @Biorin to handle the purchase. Then we deal with the minor details later, like how we are going to make money.
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      12-01-2015, 03:20 PM   #17145
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bimmette
Quote:
Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93
Quote:
Originally Posted by bimmette
You guys are really toying with my emotions here. I really seriously want to buy Douchebagville. We have to act fast. Someone come up with a business plan!
Sounds like you nominated yourself....small town folk must wear many hats....

TV host, News reporter, tour guide...
No, I nominate @Biorin to handle the purchase. Then we deal with the minor details later, like how we are going to make money.
@Biorin is a numbers girl....

We need myzmak guidance on the legal side.

BTW - Sorry to pull into this
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She stood there. Pointed a finger at me and laughed at me. That damn bitch.
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Poop shit, shit and poop. I'm mildly angry now.
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      12-01-2015, 03:24 PM   #17146
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@Biorin is a numbers girl....

We need myzmak guidance on the legal side.

BTW - Sorry to pull into this
myzmak handles the legal part, I'll handle the bookkeeping. For the record, I actually am more inclined towards words than numbers...
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      12-01-2015, 03:29 PM   #17147
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Biorin
Quote:
Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93 View Post
@Biorin is a numbers girl....

We need myzmak guidance on the legal side.

BTW - Sorry to pull into this
myzmak handles the legal part, I'll handle the bookkeeping. For the record, I actually am more inclined towards words than numbers...
Yup biorin can handle both words and numbers! Queen Biorin of Douchebagville!!
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      12-01-2015, 03:29 PM   #17148
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Yup biorin can handle both words and numbers! Queen Biorin of Douchebagville!!
Might want to look into raising those standards, Tara
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      12-01-2015, 03:30 PM   #17149
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Quote:
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Yup biorin can handle both words and numbers! Queen Biorin of Douchebagville!!
Might want to look into raising those standards, Tara
Meh, keeps life simple when you have low standards.
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      12-01-2015, 03:33 PM   #17150
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Might need a Dr in the town too....how about Wah ....?
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She stood there. Pointed a finger at me and laughed at me. That damn bitch.
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Poop shit, shit and poop. I'm mildly angry now.
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      12-01-2015, 03:55 PM   #17151
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I can be Doctor Dictator!


I nominate myself as town slut though. That one is most def mine.
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      12-01-2015, 04:05 PM   #17152
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Who is going to be the town drunk? Do I have to be that too?
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      12-01-2015, 04:29 PM   #17153
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Who is going to be the town drunk? Do I have to be that too?
If we go by Sam's club and get that barrel of Jack, I can take on this roll. But I thought we were going to have our redneck friends MAKE us some liquor. I can still volunteer to stumble around town and piss on random corners
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      12-01-2015, 04:31 PM   #17154
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If we go by Sam's club and get that barrel of Jack, I can take on this roll. But I thought we were going to have our redneck friends MAKE us some liquor. I can still volunteer to stumble around town and piss on random corners
That's the initiative that Douchebag City needs.
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      12-01-2015, 04:45 PM   #17155
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Dibbs on Sheriff!!
You have my vote! I want to be the jack booted thug and not an admin politi-weenie.
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      12-01-2015, 05:09 PM   #17156
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You have my vote! I want to be the jack booted thug and not an admin politi-weenie.
So you're saying you'd like to be 'punished' by Tonka?
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      12-01-2015, 05:10 PM   #17157
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So you're saying you'd like to be 'punished' by Tonka?
The union rep said I'd be covered.
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      12-01-2015, 05:12 PM   #17158
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He's covered. We have official documents.
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      12-01-2015, 05:18 PM   #17159
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The union rep said I'd be covered.
Oh, I'm sure you'll be covered in something.






*I may have lost the metaphor... are we still talking about the Wild West porno?
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      12-01-2015, 05:21 PM   #17160
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Oh, I'm sure you'll be covered in something.

*I may have lost the metaphor... are we still talking about the Wild West porno?
I thought we were talking about brass vs. the street gods....
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