[deutschmann59]

Hey Bella, btw I love your new avatar! Wanna be friends???

[E90-4life]

Originally Posted by BellasBmw

My first bf and i started out as complete friends. There was no attraction on my side for him. But his personality was adorable, and we dated for 18 months. However, just meeting someone for the first time is based entirely on looks. So its hard to get to know someone you just met, cause its all based on sexual tension

Haha, true true. There's this girl I'm really "diggin" right now that I had a class w/ this whoooooooole entire semester, and from the first day I saw her something hit me, but not like butterflies sappy kinda stuff, I just took notice. So I finally started talking to her towards the end of the semester, and I'm somewhat sure she has the hint that I'm in someway interested in her.. and it's cool, because everytime we talk it's just good ol' shoot'n the crap around about this and that.. it's nothing too serious.. we're having fun.

[E90-4life]

Originally Posted by sharp1183

Yep...that's the way I see it, too.

But according to every piece of dating advice literature I've ever read, the most important thing to remember, they say, is to make sure your target does NOT think of you in "friends" terms.

I guess in a perfect world you could become friends first and then go out, like you see on TV and in movies. But I don't think that is real...unless someone here can say that's actually how their relationship got started--friendship first.

But seriously, when will girls realize that guys never just want to be friends???!!!

The right girl will get it dude, a lot of girls out there are complete boneheads, so don't sweat it. I don't think there is any prescribed method for how chemistry happens or works, it just happens. I guess the most simplest things in life are the hardest to understand, for some. More than anything I enjoy just meeting different girls w/ no agenda or anything and just seeing what happens w/ who or what.. and it's great because there is NO expectation.

[SCA]

Originally Posted by BellasBmw

My first bf and i started out as complete friends. There was no attraction on my side for him. But his personality was adorable

I've been there. We started out as strictly friends. I was never really attracted to her, but I ended up falling in love with her personality. We dated for quite some time, but it never worked out. She had been in another relationship that had some *ucked up tendencies and she carried them over into ours. Plus, like Nikki's b/f, I was infatuated with her and honestly that is never healthily.

[E90-4life]

Originally Posted by SCA

Me too...after a costly divorce I prefer to start off as friends first and see where it goes. The worst that could happen is that I end up with a new friend.

my sentiments exactly.

[E90-4life]

Originally Posted by SCA

I've been there. We started out as strictly friends. I was never really physically attracted to her, but I ended up falling in love with her personality. We dated for quite some time, but it never worked out. She had been in another relationship that had some *ucked up tendencies and she carried them over into ours. Plus, like Nikki's b/f, I was infatuated with her and honestly that is never healthily.

Infatuation kinda grosses me out, infatuation and love are two compeltely different things. Infatuation is more obsession for the sake of having something to be obsessed about. Love is understanding and respecting someone.

On the attraction bit, I've really learned, especially w/in the past six months that beauty has nothing to do outward appreance but more so who a person is. For example, one girl I liked for a good while was the hottest thing ever, but she knew it, so guys are more of a novelty for her, like toys. Another girl, while I do find her very attractive physically(from the get go), she's not the girl every other guy is salavating over, she's speicial, because she's smart, focused, and appreciative of the world and people around her, and most important she can think beyond herself and her own little box and consider otherrs as well. That's beauty at its best.

[shimshimhada]

Why are there coherent thoughts present within this thread? I better get to work.

[shimshimhada]

[BMW F22]

Originally Posted by E90-4life

Kinda switching gears but going w/ what I said above, I think it's better to start out as freinds and develop a good sense of who the person is and let them get to know you.. that way not matter what, relationship or not, you guys are always freinds first. At least that's how I prefer it, probably the reason why I don't have a g/f right now

that's what I also prefer and that is also the reason why i dont have a gf right now. Im not like some of my friends who just mack on chicks that happen to walk pass them. A girl told me that girls dont like guys just randomly hitting on them.

back to other people's replies:
As for being friends part, it's difficult. It's easier said than done. How do you just go from being gf and bf to just being friends?? It takes time and you would need to distant yourself from whoever it is you were dating. Cus if you're around them all the time it makes it even harder to stay just friends. Even though it's hard, one should always try to stay friends bcus if you lose a friend everytime you end a relationship, soon you will end up with no friends at all ( or at least none of the opposite sex).

[deutschmann59]

Originally Posted by E90-4life

Another girl, while I do find her very attractive physically(from the get go), she's not the girl every other guy is salavating over, she's speicial, because she's smart, focused, and appreciative of the world and people around her, and most important she can think beyond herself and her own little box and consider otherrs as well. That's beauty at its best.

Awwwhh, ain't that sweet! Excuse me while I !!


Just kidding! Good for you, man!

[SCA]

Originally Posted by E90-4life

Infatuation kinda grosses me out, infatuation and love are two compeltely different things. Infatuation is more obsession for the sake of having something to be obsessed about. Love is understanding and respecting someone.

On the attraction bit, I've really learned, especially w/in the past six months that beauty has nothing to do outword appreance but more so who a person is. For example, one girl I liked for a good while was the hottest thing ever, but she knew it, so guys are more of a novelty for her, like toys. Another girl, while I do find her very attractive physically(from the get go), she's not the girl every other guy is salavating over, she's speicial, because she's smart, focused, and appreciative of the world and people around her, and most important she can think beyond herself and her own little box and consider otherrs as well. That's beauty at its best.

I could not agree more.

[E90-4life]

Originally Posted by BMWE90

back to other people's replies:
As for being friends part, it's difficult. It's easier said than done. How do you just go from being gf and bf to just being friends?? It takes time and you would need to distant yourself from whoever it is you were dating. Cus if you're around them all the time it makes it even harder to stay just friends. Even though it's hard, one should always try to stay friends bcus if you lose a friend everytime you end a relationship, soon you will end up with no friends at all ( or at least none of the opposite sex).

Nah dude, I think it's about maturity and being able to come to some mutual understanding that there is a solid freindship between the two. Then you know if ish hits the fan that you guys can at least talk things out in a civilized way, and when the dust settles.... you're still holding hands.

[E90-4life]

Originally Posted by shimshimhada

Why are there coherent thoughts present within this thread? I better get to work.

Maybe because some of us don't live the life of a jesture

[BMW F22]

Originally Posted by E90-4life

On the attraction bit, I've really learned, especially w/in the past six months that beauty has nothing to do outword appreance but more so who a person is. For example, one girl I liked for a good while was the hottest thing ever, but she knew it, so guys are more of a novelty for her, like toys. Another girl, while I do find her very attractive physically(from the get go), she's not the girl every other guy is salavating over, she's speicial, because she's smart, focused, and appreciative of the world and people around her, and most important she can think beyond herself and her own little box and consider otherrs as well. That's beauty at its best.

most guys like girls thare are outgoing/slutty. They are always attracted to girls who are uptight. I liked 2 girls once and they both liked me back. One was very understanding and cute and the other was hot and kinda uptight. Guess which one I went for?? I ended up regretting it. In our society, looks is everything. While I've learned my lesson, there are guys out there who throw themselves at chicks who are full of themselves. Things will never change...

[E90-4life]

I don't hate anyone but I HAAAAAAAAATE uptight girls. Some females act like you're suppose to say all the right things, make all the right jokes, do this and that for them... if that were me then I'd be some sort of humanoid robot or w/e. Relationships are give and take, a two way street, 50/50, and always will be. I don't put up w/ a lot of from girls, so if there's something I dont like, I'll say it. Consider it a favor, because there is a good chance no one else will tell them

[BMW F22]

Originally Posted by E90-4life

Nah dude, I think it's about maturity and being able to come to some mutual understanding that there is a solid freindship between the two. Then you know if ish hits the fan that you guys can at least talk things out in a civilized way, and when the dust settles.... you're still holding hands.

true. i was just saying that it's hard. Let's face it, most people think of break-ups as goodbyes, forever. They just stop talking to each other.

[E90-4life]

Originally Posted by BMWE90

true. i was just saying that it's hard. Let's face it, most people think of break-ups as goodbyes, forever. They just stop talking to each other.

that means that they're mentally f*ffffd on some level. Mature people think and do the oppisite.

[BMW F22]

Originally Posted by E90-4life

I don't hate anyone but I HAAAAAAAAATE uptight girls. Some females act like you're suppose to say all the right things, make all the right jokes, do this and that for them... if that were me then I'd be some sort of humanoid robot or w/e. Relationships are give and take, a two way street, 50/50, and always will be. I don't put up w/ a lot of from girls, so if there's something I dont like, I'll say it. Consider it a favor, because there is a good chance no one else will tell them

Dude i swear you just sum-ed up all my beliefs in that paragraph. The last chick i dated was fuckin uptight as hell. All gets and no gives. Most girls who are attractive KNOW they're attractive and that they can get away with things, lots of things...They deserve a slap in the face (not litterally, i meant a wake up call).

[E90-4life]

Originally Posted by BMWE90

Dude i swear you just sum-ed up all my beliefs in that paragraph. The last chick i dated was fuckin uptight as hell. All gets and no gives. Most girls who are attractive KNOW they're attractive and that they can get away with things, lots of things...They deserve a slap in the face (not litterally, i meant a wake up call).

No better place than southern cali for those kinda chics, or up north too. Too much superficiality girls absorb on a daily basis. I've met tons of girls that go to a party drunk and the next day you talk to them they're talking about how obsessed they are w/ this one guy and this and that.. it's sad, but at least I'm not the one doing it. More for the person who doesn't get caught up in the hype, as they will be w/ the person who's to truly be cherished. That's what its' all about? No?

[shimshimhada]

Originally Posted by BMWE90

Dude i swear you just sum-ed up all my beliefs in that paragraph. The last chick i dated was fuckin uptight as hell. All gets and no gives. Most girls who are attractive KNOW they're attractive and that they can get away with things, lots of things...They deserve a slap in the face (not litterally, i meant a wake up call).

Well you certainly can't punch them in the face, a slap should be permissible.

[deutschmann59]

Originally Posted by E90-4life

that means that they're mentally f*ffffd on some level. Mature people think and do the oppisite.

Maybe...unless she really screws you over or gives you a reason to never speak to her again, or if you happen to be a Taurus...

[BMW F22]

Originally Posted by shimshimhada

Well you certainly can't punch them in the face, a slap should be permissible.

Although i seriously believe that it's wrong to hit girls, you'd be surprised how many guys do. Funny thing is that they stick around...