Confess here

Darth One · 10-24-2018, 04:25 PM

so i fully realize that i'm building up this rep of the guy who confesses shit-related things, but might as well own it, eh?

i confess that i do not know the first thing about using those wax paper covers for the toilet seats. i mean fortunately i usually poop in regularly cleaned bathrooms, but sometimes you've got to use them because that particular toilet is suspect.

how the fuck do you use them?? they don't stay on the seat. when you take them out of the dispenser, the middle isn't fully cut out, which makes it function like a turd hammock. and something always gets fucked up during the flushing process. it turns the process of shitting into.....well, a shit show.

gabriel.psd · 10-24-2018, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darth One

so i fully realize that i'm building up this rep of the guy who confesses shit-related things, but might as well own it, eh?

i confess that i do not know the first thing about using those wax paper covers for the toilet seats. i mean fortunately i usually poop in regularly cleaned bathrooms, but sometimes you've got to use them because that particular toilet is suspect.

how the fuck do you use them?? they don't stay on the seat. when you take them out of the dispenser, the middle isn't fully cut out, which makes it function like a turd hammock. and something always gets fucked up during the flushing process. it turns the process of shitting into.....well, a shit show.

Take one from the dispenser, carefully tear off the side and front facing edges that are connected. The middle should hang gracefully onto the water, by design, to reduce splash.

CigarPundit · 10-24-2018, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darth One

so i fully realize that i'm building up this rep of the guy who confesses shit-related things, but might as well own it, eh?

i confess that i do not know the first thing about using those wax paper covers for the toilet seats. i mean fortunately i usually poop in regularly cleaned bathrooms, but sometimes you've got to use them because that particular toilet is suspect.

how the fuck do you use them?? they don't stay on the seat. when you take them out of the dispenser, the middle isn't fully cut out, which makes it function like a turd hammock. and something always gets fucked up during the flushing process. it turns the process of shitting into.....well, a shit show.

Lol. Ass gasket.

UncleWede · 10-24-2018, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gabriel.psd

Take one from the dispenser, carefully tear off the side and front facing edges that are connected. The middle should hang gracefully onto the water IN THE BACK OF THE TOILET, by design, to reduce splash.

FTFY. My friend has told me stories about what may occur if used in the opposite orientation.

gabriel.psd · 10-24-2018, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UncleWede

FTFY. My friend has told me stories about what may occur if used in the opposite orientation.

Oh, god, yeah, definitely don’t go the wrong way. Horrible things happen to good people.

Never_Enough · 10-25-2018, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darth One

that makes sense. those people are assured of being liars, which makes them not trustworthy by definition

This explains why women are liars.

wrickem · 10-26-2018, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

Someone told me I had toe thumbs. I never knew what it was... had to look it up.

I have toe thumbs. Mildly.

Are you Megan Fox???!!!!! NIIICE! your secret's safe here and you definitely won't be leg-humped on a BMW OT forum, Megan.

Never_Enough · 10-26-2018, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

Wow that's really extreme lol

I have short nails, that's it lol

As long as it doesn't mean short something else, you're doing ok.

Never_Enough · 10-26-2018, 02:38 PM

I confess I want the Lego Voltron.

david in germany · 10-26-2018, 03:58 PM

I must confess, I misdiagnosed my clunk sound on the right front of my e87.. I thought it was the strut top bearing. It ended up being a blown Bilstein B8. I ordered the top bearing and when installing I found the strut covered in fluid.. I am happy I was able to get a new strut in about 3 days and I am back to daily driving the 34-35 mpg baby BMW clunk free.

DETRoadster · 10-26-2018, 04:07 PM

Confession: My hippie neighbor behind my house wont do anything about the Himalayan blackberries that are taking over her entire back yard and now coming over my fence and trees with 1" thick vines. So I bought some concentrated blackberry killer and mixed it up at 4x strength in my pump sprayer and sprayed the sh*t out of her back yard, as far as my pump sprayer would reach. I hosed down everything in sight. Chemical warfare. It's on bitch!

david in germany · 10-26-2018, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

Paraphrasing the guru of this thread:

"Helluva confession"

I know, I also confess, I have never opened this thread until today. Mine was a bit weak compared to some..

How about,
When I was about 6-7 my brother had a cute girl over to our house (he is 5 years older than me) and for some reason I thought it was a good idea to run around only wearing a sock, on a certain non foot body part... My brother some how locked me out of the house wearing so mentioned sock on incorrect body part.. With cute girl at the window...

Terrifying.....

UncleWede · 10-26-2018, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by david in germany

With cute girl at the window...
.

She paid more attention to you than brother - #winning

Darth One · 10-26-2018, 07:14 PM

ah, the days before #metoo

Darth One · 10-26-2018, 07:15 PM

also, i wish i never saw that pic of Megan Fox's thumb. what in the actual fuck?!

CigarPundit · 10-26-2018, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darth One

also, i wish i never saw that pic of Megan Fox's thumb. what in the actual fuck?!

Yeah it’s not good, but I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for it.

CTinline-six · 10-26-2018, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CigarPundit

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darth One

also, i wish i never saw that pic of Megan Fox's thumb. what in the actual fuck?!

Yeah it’s not good, but I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for it.

Me either. I might make her wear mittens though.

1MOREMOD · 10-26-2018, 09:24 PM

I confess I may cut someone that stole my coat at work today.

Darth One · 10-26-2018, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

I confess I may cut someone that stole my coat at work today.

youre doing it rong...cut them first, then confess here

1MOREMOD · 10-26-2018, 09:35 PM

I may have to cut a lot of people to find out who done it

Darth One · 10-26-2018, 09:36 PM

so....why we still here jawing about it?

1MOREMOD · 10-26-2018, 09:45 PM

Ain't at work now

10-24-2018, 04:25 PM	#1299
Darth One drunk poster 6613 Rep 3,648 Posts Drives: M4 GTS \| E46 M3 Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: FL iTrader: (0)	so i fully realize that i'm building up this rep of the guy who confesses shit-related things, but might as well own it, eh? i confess that i do not know the first thing about using those wax paper covers for the toilet seats. i mean fortunately i usually poop in regularly cleaned bathrooms, but sometimes you've got to use them because that particular toilet is suspect. how the fuck do you use them?? they don't stay on the seat. when you take them out of the dispenser, the middle isn't fully cut out, which makes it function like a turd hammock. and something always gets fucked up during the flushing process. it turns the process of shitting into.....well, a shit show.
	Appreciate 0 Quote

10-26-2018, 02:38 PM	#1307
Never_Enough Banned 2241 Rep 2,476 Posts Drives: Satan's Chariot 2.0 Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: PA iTrader: (6) Garage List 2018 Charger Hellcat [0.00]	I confess I want the Lego Voltron.
	Appreciate 1 deleted_397282_c43ae5ea84160.50 Quote

10-26-2018, 03:58 PM	#1308
david in germany Lieutenant Colonel 734 Rep 1,819 Posts Drives: 118i, 335i and 328i Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Mannheim Germany iTrader: (2)	I must confess, I misdiagnosed my clunk sound on the right front of my e87.. I thought it was the strut top bearing. It ended up being a blown Bilstein B8. I ordered the top bearing and when installing I found the strut covered in fluid.. I am happy I was able to get a new strut in about 3 days and I am back to daily driving the 34-35 mpg baby BMW clunk free. __________________ 2009 118i Monaco Blue "Maximillion" 2009 335i Saphire Black M Sport "Leopold" Cobb stage 2 aggressive tune, Mishimoto FMIC, Cobb charge pipe, Cobb catted down pipes, Forge diverter valves, BMS inlets and DCI, Cyba scoops and M Individual Audio retrofit and M3 gauge cluster retrofit. 2011 328i Titan Silver M Sport "Franzel" <--Wife's car
	Appreciate 0 Quote

10-26-2018, 04:07 PM	#1309
DETRoadster Space Force - 4 Star General 11505 Rep 3,265 Posts Drives: M2 MG 6MT / Moto Guzzi V7 Join Date: Jul 2016 Location: Seattle iTrader: (1)	Confession: My hippie neighbor behind my house wont do anything about the Himalayan blackberries that are taking over her entire back yard and now coming over my fence and trees with 1" thick vines. So I bought some concentrated blackberry killer and mixed it up at 4x strength in my pump sprayer and sprayed the sh*t out of her back yard, as far as my pump sprayer would reach. I hosed down everything in sight. Chemical warfare. It's on bitch!
	Appreciate 3 wrickem2196.00 Kyngofpop641.00 upstatedoc7540.50 Quote

10-26-2018, 07:14 PM	#1312
Darth One drunk poster 6613 Rep 3,648 Posts Drives: M4 GTS \| E46 M3 Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: FL iTrader: (0)	ah, the days before #metoo
	Appreciate 2 Turkish Pickle3057.50 upstatedoc7540.50 Quote

10-26-2018, 07:15 PM	#1313
Darth One drunk poster 6613 Rep 3,648 Posts Drives: M4 GTS \| E46 M3 Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: FL iTrader: (0)	also, i wish i never saw that pic of Megan Fox's thumb. what in the actual fuck?!
	Appreciate 1 deleted_397282_c43ae5ea84160.50 Quote

10-26-2018, 09:24 PM	#1316
1MOREMOD - 11822 Rep 23,186 Posts Drives: Race car-> Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: check your mirrors iTrader: (5)	I confess I may cut someone that stole my coat at work today.
	Appreciate 2 Kyngofpop641.00 upstatedoc7540.50 Quote

10-26-2018, 09:35 PM	#1318
1MOREMOD - 11822 Rep 23,186 Posts Drives: Race car-> Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: check your mirrors iTrader: (5)	I may have to cut a lot of people to find out who done it
	Appreciate 1 Kyngofpop641.00 Quote

10-26-2018, 09:36 PM	#1319
Darth One drunk poster 6613 Rep 3,648 Posts Drives: M4 GTS \| E46 M3 Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: FL iTrader: (0)	so....why we still here jawing about it?
	Appreciate 0 Quote

10-26-2018, 09:45 PM	#1320
1MOREMOD - 11822 Rep 23,186 Posts Drives: Race car-> Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: check your mirrors iTrader: (5)	Ain't at work now
	Appreciate 0 Quote