[ItsGary]

Originally Posted by zentanker

well fair warning here, this post will be a bit graphic to paint a picture of the situation

***you have been warned***

other disclaimers:

drinking and driving is bad. don't do it!
I was completely complicit in my horrible choices that night
I loathe thieves
that night I was a total hypocrite- so I'm admitting that up front to save the forum peanut gallery from pointing out the obvious I was wrong every bit of the way




I was out on a Thursday night in one of my favorite bars. "last call!!" rang out and I got one more beer. I was sitting on a stool near the bar. A girl ran up for last call getting a final drink. She looked over her shoulder at me, smiled and then backed up, and started rubbing her snizz up and down my leg

I wasn't at all out looking for a hookup, but I was single at the time and boys will be boys... and she was ready for me

we closed our tabs and went to an after hours club a couple blocks down and we were disgusting everyone with our little petting zoo so we left and I followed her to her apartment. Again, that should not have happened


during the deed, somehow she mentioned her boyfriend; I don't recall how it came up while my balls were slapping her taint and asshole, but there it was. I objected a bit and she said "he's at school at Baylor, he knows what I do"

I was disgusted at that point with myself and her. But the root was not finished. Not for a couple more minutes.

After I was drained, I looked at her nightstand clock and seeing it was around 4:30AM I said "I hate you" She looked directly at me and laughed.

"I just ate your cum and you hate me? hahaha"

then she rolled over and started snoring in about 30 seconds

WHAT. THE. FUCK,


so there I was, realizing that i had to be at work in 3 hours, I was drunk, I just raw-dogged a total fucking slut and might have 1 or more diseases I never wanted

I felt used


all the stuff in her apartment sucked

her music CDs, TV... everything: wasn't worth taking. I knew there was nothing in her purse because I had to pay the entrance fee to the after hours club.

Then I looked in her fridge. BINGO! I took all of her booze and beer and put it in a pillowcase.

Fortunately, I survived the drive to work without killing anyone or getting arrested, and after a nap in my car in the garage at work I managed to get through a days work smelling likes cigs, booze and skank. and still having hand stamps from clubs.

I died at “I ate your cum and you hate me”

Imagine if she put this way

“I ate your future would be children and you hate me”

[zentanker]

Originally Posted by ItsGary

I died at “I ate your cum and you hate me”

Imagine if she put this way

“I ate your future would be children and you hate me”

if she had put it that way, I might have said "thank you so much for inviting me to skeet in your mouth and on your face!"


if I had knocked her up... I don't even want to think about that- that would have a made a series of horrible choices infinitely worse. My heart is pounding right now just thinking about it.

[natedog7700]

Originally Posted by zentanker

well fair warning here, this post will be a bit graphic to paint a picture of the situation

***you have been warned***

other disclaimers:

drinking and driving is bad. don't do it!
I was completely complicit in my horrible choices that night
I loathe thieves
that night I was a total hypocrite- so I'm admitting that up front to save the forum peanut gallery from pointing out the obvious I was wrong every bit of the way




I was out on a Thursday night in one of my favorite bars. "last call!!" rang out and I got one more beer. I was sitting on a stool near the bar. A girl ran up for last call getting a final drink. She looked over her shoulder at me, smiled and then backed up, and started rubbing her snizz up and down my leg

I wasn't at all out looking for a hookup, but I was single at the time and boys will be boys... and she was ready for me

we closed our tabs and went to an after hours club a couple blocks down and we were disgusting everyone with our little petting zoo so we left and I followed her to her apartment. Again, that should not have happened


during the deed, somehow she mentioned her boyfriend; I don't recall how it came up while my balls were slapping her taint and asshole, but there it was. I objected a bit and she said "he's at school at Baylor, he knows what I do"

I was disgusted at that point with myself and her. But the root was not finished. Not for a couple more minutes.

After I was drained, I looked at her nightstand clock and seeing it was around 4:30AM I said "I hate you" She looked directly at me and laughed.

"I just ate your cum and you hate me? hahaha"

then she rolled over and started snoring in about 30 seconds

WHAT. THE. FUCK,


so there I was, realizing that i had to be at work in 3 hours, I was drunk, I just raw-dogged a total fucking slut and might have 1 or more diseases I never wanted

I felt used


all the stuff in her apartment sucked

her music CDs, TV... everything: wasn't worth taking. I knew there was nothing in her purse because I had to pay the entrance fee to the after hours club.

Then I looked in her fridge. BINGO! I took all of her booze and beer and put it in a pillowcase.

Fortunately, I survived the drive to work without killing anyone or getting arrested, and after a nap in my car in the garage at work I managed to get through a days work smelling likes cigs, booze and skank. and still having hand stamps from clubs.

She came on to you... in a very strong way and you had no idea she was a total slute? Lmao good story tho id go insane if i got a one nighter prego

[zentanker]

Originally Posted by natedog7700

She came on to you... in a very strong way and you had no idea she was a total slute? Lmao good story tho id go insane if i got a one nighter prego

Of course I knew; but I wasn't thinking with the correct head at that point. I KNEW.


Logic and reason were gone at that point.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by zentanker

well fair warning here, this post will be a bit graphic to paint a picture of the situation

***you have been warned***

other disclaimers:

drinking and driving is bad. don't do it!
I was completely complicit in my horrible choices that night
I loathe thieves
that night I was a total hypocrite- so I'm admitting that up front to save the forum peanut gallery from pointing out the obvious I was wrong every bit of the way




~~
during the deed, somehow she mentioned her boyfriend; I don't recall how it came up while my balls were slapping her taint and asshole, but there it was. I objected a bit and she said "he's at school at Baylor, he knows what I do"

I was disgusted at that point with myself and her. But the root was not finished. Not for a couple more minutes.

After I was drained, I looked at her nightstand clock and seeing it was around 4:30AM I said "I hate you" She looked directly at me and laughed.

"I just ate your cum and you hate me? hahaha"

then she rolled over and started snoring in about 30 seconds

WHAT. THE. FUCK,


so there I was, realizing that i had to be at work in 3 hours, I was drunk, I just raw-dogged a total fucking slut and might have 1 or more diseases I never wanted

I felt used


~~

10/10 push pull dynamics

[wrickem]

There are 7 traffic lights in a row on my way to the train station at 5:30 in the morning.
When one turns green, the next one turns red. I have never seen a single car come through the side streets at that hour. Not one, not ever.

I stop at the red lights, look and then go while they are still red, treating them as if they are STOP signs. I've done this for 8 years.

[Maynard]

So roughly 10000 blown red lights - must be some kind of record!

[ItsGary]

when someone is tailgating me in the city i like to slow down on purpose just before the light changes to yellow then red to force the other car to stop at the light while i go through the yellow slowly lol

[Germanauto]

The ONLY thing I like about winter is being able to drift around like a douche in the snow. That includes both parking lots and main roads.

People prolly think something's wrong with my car...nope, it's just me having fun.

[TrevorM3]

when people drive obnoxiously slow in the left lane i like to very narrowly cut them off. Especially when they are texting.

[GT_Man]

I once needed a dump real bad but both bathrooms in my house were busy, so I took a dump in a plastic carrier bag, wiped my ass with kitchen roll and went upstairs to my bedroom. I then opened the window and flung the carrier bag into a neighbours garden and carried on with my day

[Never_Enough]

I watch Project Runway. I was disappointed when they eliminated the hottie in the blue dress

[upstatedoc]

i watched "the voice" last night and enjoyed it

[CANGRKE70]

My other car is a Kia.

[CTinline-six]

A. I work in technology, and I hate being called an IT guy. For 2 reasons:


1. I'm not the stereotypical IT guy who builds computers at home, plays video games, or is a chubby nerd with glasses and social issues. In fact I'm quite the opposite. I play sports, like socializing, working out, etc. I spend most of my day in meetings planning with school administrators which can be both frustrating and rewarding.

2. I work with a few people who DO fit that stereotype and I hate every single one of them. They are usually condescending assholes who can barely have a conversation with anyone, and compulsively lie about everything to sound smart. Sometimes I hate telling people I've barely met what I do because of this stereotype.


B. I'm borderline OCD with organization (as evidenced by this post). All of my tools in the toolbox are in labeled drawers. All of the weights and dumbbells in my workout room are organized from lightest to heaviest with the numbers facing out. My cars are spotless inside.

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by CANGRKE70

My other car is a Kia.

ban

[CANGRKE70]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

ban

Hence why it's a 2012 with only 30,000kms.

Good city car though and keeps the stop and go km low on the X5.

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

A. I work in technology, and I hate being called an IT guy. For 2 reasons:

I always introduce myself as the "computer geek" otherwise people wouldn't have a clue. Although for me, it might have something to do with the "unibomber" look/dress I sometimes embody. 2 CMs ago, he was on a tour thru the PD when I was so garbed. He asked the chief if I was a CI, and the laughing response was "No, that's your IT manager"

[upstatedoc]

I think the two sonic guys are funny.

[c1pher]

I love people, but have difficulty understanding their differing points of view especially when they revert to name calling without explaining their logic.

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by chillbil79

But the worst thing I ever done, I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

As a student travelling on ferries (long distance - 3 hours in some rough water) I was on a rough trip. Lots of people sitting outside looking and feeling sick. So I went to the cafeteria, bought a mince pie, slipped a plastic fork in my jacket pocket, and then grabbed a sick bag. Before returning outside I put the pie in the bag. Went outside, saw a group of sick looking people and went and sat near them. I proceeded to rock back and forth with the bag near my face, and then started making similar sounds to what you made.. hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaaa and pretended to launch my lunch into the bag. Once finished, I looked in the bag, made a "hmmmm" sound, grabbed the fork from my pocket, and started eating the pie with it. Several people went straight for the rails and lost their lunch

[BuiltnBoostedZ]

I once fapped so hard, a unicorn died.