[wuufer001]

waiting for the next.
1 of the best reads on the OT

[Desi]

Any requests from my list in the OP as to which story you guys want next?

[ragingclue]

I drove a cab part time with Yellow while I was at the University of Michigan. Multiple times I had sketchy people jumping in my cab at stoplights (mostly on Washtenaw), asking me to drive them to Ypsi and back, but they didn't have enough cash. Instead they'd offer drogas. One even hopped in the cab unannounced and tossed a vial of some pretty fresh green in my lap and just said, "Keep going straight until I tell you to turn." wtf.

At that point in my life, I did enjoy the herb, but I wasn't about to get caught accepting drugs and accessorizing drug deals.... This happened multiple times.

You'd be surprised at some of the odd shit that a cabbie deals with. I just wish I would have documented all my wacky stories, but I didn't and I doubt I can remember many of them. I do remember, however, that it was one hell of an experience, and I made damn good money for a part time college job.

[Year's_End]

lolstered

[scollins]

The SWAT story is hilarious!

[335_i]

dude....i lol so hard i shat myself

Originally Posted by Desi

Interest seems to be dying out. Let's pick up the pace a bit.

Swat Team Extraction

This incident occurred a few short weeks ago. Every summer Ottawa is home to Bluesfest, a rather large 10-day long music festival that crosses all genres and remains a "Blues"fest in name only. 4 Stages, acts that ranged from KISS to Ludicrous and everything in between. Oh, and booze. Lots and lots of booze.

The very first night of the festival I am driving down a road that borders the site, immediately to my left is a massive outdoor show with attendance that night I believe pushing 30,000. To my right parked along the side of the road is a massive show of force by the Ottawa Police and RCMP. As a quick aside, we have 5 police forces we have to deal with locally: Ottawa Police for the city, RCMP (Mounties) for all federal property and scenic parkways, Ontario Provincial Police (OPP) for Highways, National Capital Commission Park Rangers for all park areas (there are a lot) and the Gatineau Police (in the province of Quebec, Ottawa straddles the border). We have a pretty good working relationship with most of these forces, although the Gatineau and OPP guys are more often than not douches.

So back to the story at hand. I'm driving past the site and an Ottawa Police Officer steps in front of my car as I'm driving past and puts his hand up for me to stop. I'm thinking "Why the fuck am I getting pulled over?!" but oblige. He, along with another cop who is dragging some drunk kid, come up to my car. He approaches me:

Cop: Hey bud, can you take this kid to Deerfield? (A street near a local community college)
Me: I don't know bud, is he going to be okay?
Cop: I give you my guarantee, he's going to be okay... he won't puke or anything, don't worry.
Cop: Alright, that's going to be about $30. Does he have the cash on him?
Cop: (Opens the kid's wallet) Yep, here you go. If you have any trouble call the non-emergency number and say that Constable Smith put this guy in your car and they'll help you out.
Me: Alright, thanks.

So I proceed to the destination, it was a rather uneventful 15-20 minute drive. I get to the street and turn to ask the guy which house was his. Shit, buddy had just passed out. I try making some noise, jostling him, try and get him to come to. No dice. Time to bust out that non-emergency phone number.


Dispatcher: Ottawa Police, how can I help you?
Me: Uh, I'm a cab driver. Constable Smith put some drunk kid in the back of my cab at Bluesfest and I'm trying to get him home, problem is he passed out and I have no idea where to leave him.
Dispatcher: Alright, I'm dispatching the nearest unit. They will be there shortly.
Me: No rush, its not like he's going anywhere.

So a few minutes pass by. All of a sudden I hear a siren and see an unmarked Ford Excursion that is lit up like a Christmas Tree come flying around the corner and stop behind me. Before I had the chance to finish saying "What the fuck" 4 Tactical Unit cops jump out of the truck, run up to my car in some sort of formation, swing the rear door open, grab this poor kid by his collar and stand him up in front of one of the cops. I'm sitting there staring in disbelief, what the fuck? Was this kid a fucking Al Qaeda operative or something? Oh, did I mention the cops were heavily armed? Turns out the Tac guys just happened to be the closest unit and were just bored so they decided to "practice". At this point I could have left since I had already been paid but decided to stick around, this situation has comedic potential and I have nothing else to do.

So I'm standing there outside my car observing as one of the cops trys to figure out where this kid, who is visibly stunned to be suddenly staring a Tactical Unit Cop in the eyes, lives. The conversation goes something like this:

Cop: Son, where do you live?
Kid: I don't know, I just moved here for school.
Cop: You have any ID?
Kid: Uhh, I don't think so.
Cop: Do you have a phone number we can call to get your address? Can we call your mom's house?
Kid: (Trying not to cry) NOO! Please No! she doesn't know I drink!
Cop: : Son, she's either going to find out if we call her to find out where you live or when she finds out you were in the drunk tank for the night. Can we call one of your buddies? Give me one of your friends phone numbers
Kid: : Uh, don't know any numbers.
Cop: : Give me your cell phone
Kid: (Hands the cop his Wallet)
Cop: : (Looks at the wallet) Well, I'm not going to bust you for this fake ID but I suggest you hide it better. Now, cellphone.
Kid: Uhh... (as he's fumbling it starts to ring)
Cop: (answers phone) This is the Ottawa Police, I'm with your frien... (Guy's friend hangs up)
Cop: (calls back the last number) Look, I'm with the Police. I'm with your friend Sean who we can't get back to his place. Can you tell us where he lives? Otherwise we're throwing him in the drunk tank for the night.

A minute later the cop hangs up. The guy on the phone says he doesn't know where his buddy lives, but that he lives a few blocks away and to leave him on his doorstep because he won't be home for a few hours. The cops apparently agreed. One of them pulls me aside and says "Listen man, we have too much gear in our truck and can't take him, can you take him? Don't worry, we've got your back. To which I, trying not to laugh at the cop, agreed.

They shoved the kid in the back, put an armed Tactical cop in the front seat with me and followed me in their truck with the lights on. To any passerby it legitimately looked like I was running from the cops. I was kindof hoping to be carjacked at that very moment, but alas it was not meant to be. So we pull up to this guy's buddy's house and 3 cops get out and pick him up, two holding him by his arms, one with his leg and the other leg dragging on the pavement. They lay him across the front porch, ring the doorbell, run back to their truck and tear out of that parking lot.



In hindsight I kind of wish I had grabbed a card and written on the back "You are going to have one hell of a drunk story to tell tomorrow. Call me and I'll fill you in" but alas hindsight is 20/20. If anyone knows a guy named "Sean" that just started at Algonquin College in Ottawa, refer him to this thread. I doubt he remembers much of this, but probably enough to be able to confirm that it was in fact him. This would make for one hell of a "I got so drunk that I..." story.

[jrsbeamer335]

Originally Posted by Desi

Any requests from my list in the OP as to which story you guys want next?

drug dealers with a gun!

then, fighting with the law

[Bimmer Nerd]

Originally Posted by express705

this reminds me of the streetsweeper tales. anyone read that?

Originally Posted by express705

its a sad story. i cried.

no homo

yea, at first i read like 30 pages and then yesterday i couldn't go to sleep so took out my ipod touch and read all 90 pages, ALL of the stories were amazing but i just couldn't hold it anymore when he got the call from the girls father. Tears just starting come out

btw if you don't cry to that or at LEAST get really depressed, you probably have no feelings.

[m3pare]

Originally Posted by Bimmer Nerd

yea, at first i read like 30 pages and then yesterday i couldn't go to sleep so took out my ipod touch and read all 90 pages, ALL of the stories were amazing but i just couldn't hold it anymore when he got the call from the girls father. Tears just starting come out

btw if you don't cry to that or at LEAST get really depressed, you probably have no feelings.

didn't cry, but did feel pretty bad for the fng..

[Desi]

Fighting the Law

This happened to me about a 7-8 months ago, and I still can't believe I was so quick on my feet. It is about 11pm on a Friday.

I'm driving up one of the main streets in town, just past one of the busiest and oldest bars in town. There is a Police Car behind me and my friend in another car directly behind the cop. My friend and are phone together at the time, both with Bluetooth headsets. We're actually on the Immigrant Hotline mentioned earlier.

I stop at a red light, wait, light turns green, and I proceed through. All of a sudden the disco lights come on behind me. I'm confused but I pull over and am absolutely clueless as to why as is my friend that was behind the cop. My buddy pulls over a block past me just in case. The cop comes up to me:

Cop: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Me: "Honestly, I have no idea. Do I have a broken light or something?"
Cop: "You just completely blew through that red, I was behind you. You stopped at the red light and then proceeded through it."
Me: (doubting myself in my mind, did I actually blow the red?!)
My friend on the phone: "What the hell?! I was right behind you, you DID NOT blow the red. Look in your rearview, the hand is flashing showing that its changing back to red now and was green when you went through a minute ago."
Me: "Officer, I am positive I didn't go through the red. If you look back now the light is changing back to red as we speak indicating that it was green when I went through it."
Cop: "Nope, you went through the red."
Me: "Sir, I believe you are mistaken"
Cop: "Are you calling me a liar?"
Me: (Getting irritated) "As respectfully as I can, yes sir I am. That cab pulled over a block ahead of us was behind you and will testify that I didn't go through the red. So will the TaxiCam footage as the camera catches everything out the rear window. If you want to give me a ticket, fine, but I am going to have to ask you to contact your supervisor to come here and pull the footage off the camera right now so I may use it in court to defend myself."
Cop: "License, Insurance and Registration. NOW!"

Officer douchebag goes back to his cruiser and comes back a solid 15 minutes later.

Cop: "I'm not going to give you a ticket, I suggest if you are going to drive for a living you pay more attention to the road."
Me: "Sir, respectfully, I did pay attention and stop"
Cop: "Are you going to argue with me when I'm cutting you a break?"
Me: "No sir, am I free to leave?"
Cop: "Yea"
Me: "Alright, may I also suggest to you that if you are going to try and enforce the law for a living that you pay more attention to what is going on right infront of you? Have a good evening officer."

And with that I rolled up the window and drove away with the cop still standing there, making damn sure I drove like a saint after that for the rest of the night.


(Not as action packed as the SWAT takedown, but I have to hold back something to maintain interest )

[Razzy]

Originally Posted by Desi

Fighting the Law

This happened to me about a 7-8 months ago, and I still can't believe I was so quick on my feet. It is about 11pm on a Friday.

I'm driving up one of the main streets in town, just past one of the busiest and oldest bars in town. There is a Police Car behind me and my friend in another car directly behind the cop. My friend and are phone together at the time, both with Bluetooth headsets. We're actually on the Immigrant Hotline mentioned earlier.

I stop at a red light, wait, light turns green, and I proceed through. All of a sudden the disco lights come on behind me. I'm confused but I pull over and am absolutely clueless as to why as is my friend that was behind the cop. My buddy pulls over a block past me just in case. The cop comes up to me:

Cop: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Me: "Honestly, I have no idea. Do I have a broken light or something?"
Cop: "You just completely blew through that red, I was behind you. You stopped at the red light and then proceeded through it."
Me: (doubting myself in my mind, did I actually blow the red?!)
My friend on the phone: "What the hell?! I was right behind you, you DID NOT blow the red. Look in your rearview, the hand is flashing showing that its changing back to red now and was green when you went through a minute ago."
Me: "Officer, I am positive I didn't go through the red. If you look back now the light is changing back to red as we speak indicating that it was green when I went through it."
Cop: "Nope, you went through the red."
Me: "Sir, I believe you are mistaken"
Cop: "Are you calling me a liar?"
Me: (Getting irritated) "As respectfully as I can, yes sir I am. That cab pulled over a block ahead of us was behind you and will testify that I didn't go through the red. So will the TaxiCam footage as the camera catches everything out the rear window. If you want to give me a ticket, fine, but I am going to have to ask you to contact your supervisor to come here and pull the footage off the camera right now so I may use it in court to defend myself."
Cop: "License, Insurance and Registration. NOW!"

Officer douchebag goes back to his cruiser and comes back a solid 15 minutes later.

Cop: "I'm not going to give you a ticket, I suggest if you are going to drive for a living you pay more attention to the road."
Me: "Sir, respectfully, I did pay attention and stop"
Cop: "Are you going to argue with me when I'm cutting you a break?"
Me: "No sir, am I free to leave?"
Cop: "Yea"
Me: "Alright, may I also suggest to you that if you are going to try and enforce the law for a living that you pay more attention to what is going on right infront of you? Have a good evening officer."

And with that I rolled up the window and drove away with the cop still standing there, making damn sure I drove like a saint after that for the rest of the night.


(Not as action packed as the SWAT takedown, but I have to hold back something to maintain interest )

very sharp.

[MCMLXXXIX]

haha bet the officer was stunned

[E90SLAM]

Awesome!!!

[MCS]

Great thread. I normally troll the politics area of this site, but the series of stories are great.

Desi - Thanks for helping me pass the time. You're gifted with your writing... Your stories and style remind me a little about the Tucker Max stories on the web.

I'd be interested in reading about the Battle Royale - Asian gang story

[who's ur daddy?]

full of epicness.

this and the zombie thread are my favourite threads of all time.

[choicez]

finally caught up again. great stuff.

don't hold back on any details...

[Explorer3253]

Originally Posted by Desi

Fighting the Law

This happened to me about a 7-8 months ago, and I still can't believe I was so quick on my feet. It is about 11pm on a Friday.

I'm driving up one of the main streets in town, just past one of the busiest and oldest bars in town. There is a Police Car behind me and my friend in another car directly behind the cop. My friend and are phone together at the time, both with Bluetooth headsets. We're actually on the Immigrant Hotline mentioned earlier.

I stop at a red light, wait, light turns green, and I proceed through. All of a sudden the disco lights come on behind me. I'm confused but I pull over and am absolutely clueless as to why as is my friend that was behind the cop. My buddy pulls over a block past me just in case. The cop comes up to me:

Cop: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Me: "Honestly, I have no idea. Do I have a broken light or something?"
Cop: "You just completely blew through that red, I was behind you. You stopped at the red light and then proceeded through it."
Me: (doubting myself in my mind, did I actually blow the red?!)
My friend on the phone: "What the hell?! I was right behind you, you DID NOT blow the red. Look in your rearview, the hand is flashing showing that its changing back to red now and was green when you went through a minute ago."
Me: "Officer, I am positive I didn't go through the red. If you look back now the light is changing back to red as we speak indicating that it was green when I went through it."
Cop: "Nope, you went through the red."
Me: "Sir, I believe you are mistaken"
Cop: "Are you calling me a liar?"
Me: (Getting irritated) "As respectfully as I can, yes sir I am. That cab pulled over a block ahead of us was behind you and will testify that I didn't go through the red. So will the TaxiCam footage as the camera catches everything out the rear window. If you want to give me a ticket, fine, but I am going to have to ask you to contact your supervisor to come here and pull the footage off the camera right now so I may use it in court to defend myself."
Cop: "License, Insurance and Registration. NOW!"

Officer douchebag goes back to his cruiser and comes back a solid 15 minutes later.

Cop: "I'm not going to give you a ticket, I suggest if you are going to drive for a living you pay more attention to the road."
Me: "Sir, respectfully, I did pay attention and stop"
Cop: "Are you going to argue with me when I'm cutting you a break?"
Me: "No sir, am I free to leave?"
Cop: "Yea"
Me: "Alright, may I also suggest to you that if you are going to try and enforce the law for a living that you pay more attention to what is going on right infront of you? Have a good evening officer."

And with that I rolled up the window and drove away with the cop still standing there, making damn sure I drove like a saint after that for the rest of the night.


(Not as action packed as the SWAT takedown, but I have to hold back something to maintain interest )

did you tell this story in another thread b/c i remember the exact same situation from a reading before. in any case..AWESOME!

[jrsbeamer335]

Lol i would've never told the cop that when getting a break lmao crazy.

now= "Drug Dealers w/ a Gun"

[OverDrive]

what happened to the rest of the stories?
________
VAPORIZER FORUMS
________
How To Roll A Joint
________
Justin bieber fan
________
Lamborghini Lma002 Specifications

[Desi]

They are coming. I'm just coming off a 14hr shift driving the cab so I'm too tired to type up another one right now. Expect one sometime tomorrow during the day though.

[Desi]

Sorry for taking so long to update, it's apparently Ramadan and work just got crazy busy with half the fleet taking breaks to pray and break fasts. As one guy put it when we realized there were so few cars, "It's time for us infidels to make money!"


"Did you just kick me in the head?"

This incident took place almost a year ago to the day. In hindsight it's kinda wierd I post this now, with the whole Patrick Kane incident but I digress. I picked up 3 guys in the main bar district, two got in the back one in the front. Right from the getgo you could just sense the "douche-ness" of all of these guys, stereotypical frat-boy types. Whatever, I don't give a shit. They are going to a diner not too far away that is almost legendary locally as the after-bar spot.

So I start driving and one of these guys turns to me and says "You dirty fucking leb (Lebanese) bastard! We should nuke you bastards off the face of the earth". To which I, rather stunned, turn to him and say "First off, I'm not lebanese. Second off, shut the fuck up." I probably shouldn't have provoked them, but at this point they were just pissing me off.

Douche #1: "Why the fuck don't you go back where you came from?"
Me: "Uh, here? Born and raised, asshole. Why the fuck don't you go back to that trailer park you came from, you know, the one where you can keep fucking your sister and not have anyone question it."
Douche #2: "What the fuck did you say? We're NHL Hockey Players, you don't know who you are fucking with!
Me: "Look man, Canadian through and through. I know my hockey. If you guys are hockey players I'm fuckin Superbowl Game MVP. Now I don't want to put up with you fucking bullshit so get the fuck out of my car or we are going to have problems."

At this point I stop, incidentally right past the National War Memorial. Douchebags aren't getting out so I grab my headset and say into it "I need police assistance at the War Memorial", which is code on the Immigrant Hotline for "I'm outnumbered and need some backup to throw down." Unfortunately for me, my "backup" misheard and went to the War Museum on the other side of downtown.

Two of the guys get out and start running away at the mention of police, strangely leaving their one buddy in the rear passenger seat in the car alone with me. This guy is enraged and not getting the fuck out. Eventually I turn to him and say "Are you going to get the fuck out, or do I have to drag you the fuck out?" Buddy just snaps. Starts punching the passenger seat and then leans back and fucking puts his leg between the seats and kicks me in the side of the head.

I'm stunned for a second, not because he kicked me hard but because it just seemed so absurd. A second later, and completely livid, I turn to him and say:

Me: "Did you just kick me in the head?" He has a look of horror on his face, you know that look one someone realizes they made a mistake that is going to get themselves beaten senseless? Yea, that was the look.
Him: Lets out some grumbling noises
Me: "Alright asshole, you're an NHL Player hunh? Well that means you know how to fight. Lets go, get out and fight me like a man. Kicks are for pussies, men use fists. Lets go." (I open my door and get out).
Him: (pauses inside the car for a second, opens the door and starts running as fast as he can and rather smartly goes down a one way street the wrong way so I can't jump in my car and chase him, not that I would anyways).

After laughing my ass off for about a minute and upon the insistence of the guys on the hotline, I let him go. If I gave chase and beat him, I would probably wind up in the back of a police cruiser and face charges of some kind. Definatly not worth it.

Oh, and NHL players? Yea, not quite. Not only would I have probably recognized them, these guys were way too small to be able to cut it in the NHL. Plus I'm not scrawny but I'm not exactly "built" either. A true NHL'er would probably not hesitate to go toe-to-toe with me, because let's face it, they'd probably win.

[dr.jay]

Epic Stories!!! Subscribed