[Lups]

^^ Went through this two years ago. In my case the huge relief about him being without pain and me not having to fight every second of every day was so much to deal with it took over a year to get sad over the loss, and just now I'm starting to feel guilty over euthanasia which I take full credit for.

I don't fear death, but I fear not living.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Mr.SugarSkulls

HoAs are thhheeeeeee worst.

I can't even have a Seahawks door mat without them freaking out.

But...I love the location/place. And long beach reminds me of Seattle except with better weather.

It's a process but it's coming Lups! It's coming!! I can assure you my talents are worth waiting for! But I'm also not going to send out a rough demo without some mix/copyright ideas are finalized (I don't think you'd do anything, but I'd be a fool not to)

So true, and also I want to cover my ass and not be blamed for no reason.

Please, do not suck at this, you're my only hope atm

[Mr.SugarSkulls]

Originally Posted by Lups

^^ Went through this two years ago. In my case the huge relief about him being without pain and me not having to fight every second of every day was so much to deal with it took over a year to get sad over the loss, and just now I'm starting to feel guilty over euthanasia which I take full credit for.

I don't fear death, but I fear not living.

Yeah every situation is different.

I know when my grandpa passed in 2013, it felt different and my mom even admitted it so. With him we had time to mentally prepare, comfort and grieve together- and while it sucked to see such a good man go- the pain he was going through (lung cancer) was a bit much to take, that there was a sigh of relief for him. He genuinely looked at peace when he left us.

With my dad it was so sudden, it's like an emotional 10.0 earthquake struck without warning

[Nkc]

Originally Posted by Mr.SugarSkulls

I loved click.

I still cry in the last scene before his dad dies, but Adam sander treats him like shit and says he always knew how to do the stupid magic trick & his dad says "I love you son" scene

Wish my dad was still alive, miss him.

I cried like a little bitch too. All time favorite Adam Sandler movie. Having Kate beckinsale helps a lot too.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Mr.SugarSkulls

Yeah every situation is different.

I know when my grandpa passed in 2013, it felt different and my mom even admitted it so. With him we had time to mentally prepare, comfort and grieve together- and while it sucked to see such a good man go- the pain he was going through (lung cancer) was a bit much to take, that there was a sigh of relief for him. He genuinely looked at peace when he left us.

With my dad it was so sudden, it's like an emotional 10.0 earthquake struck without warning

My dad was awesome. A smart man who taught me to threat everyone equally and he gave my kids so much time and love I am forever grateful for those. He was diagnosed with cancer on the 12th of January, died the first of May.

Sure I had time to process the thought of losing him. I knew that from December. I had a huge battle with my remaining relatives and moved here to here to get away.

I am truly lucky I had him. Most nights I wake up still hearing my meltdown moment in my head. We were in traffic lights, on our way to the hospital. He took my hand and apologized for causing me so much work (at that point I had been up 22 hours per day for weeks) and I screamed at him to shut the fuck up. "you are my dad, my role model and because of you I've had the best of lives, and I can look forward to the future with no fear. I love you and this is my time to take care of you and you will never apologize again because that makes it feel like this is not the way things are meant to be."

I think what haunts me there is that I never told him before that that I loved him. Finns don't say that shit.

[Mr.SugarSkulls]

Originally Posted by Lups

My dad was awesome. A smart man who taught me to threat everyone equally and he gave my kids so much time and love I am forever grateful for those. He was diagnosed with cancer on the 12th of January, died the first of May.

Sure I had time to process the thought of losing him. I knew that from December. I had a huge battle with my remaining relatives and moved here to here to get away.

I am truly lucky I had him. Most nights I wake up still hearing my meltdown moment in my head. We were in traffic lights, on our way to the hospital. He took my hand and apologized for causing me so much work (at that point I had been up 22 hours per day for weeks) and I screamed at him to shut the fuck up. "you are my dad, my role model and because of you I've had the best of lives, and I can look forward to the future with no fear. I love you and this is my time to take care of you and you will never apologize again because that makes it feel like this is not the way things are meant to be."

I think what haunts me there is that I never told him before that that I loved him. Finns don't say that shit.

Cultural differences are rough. That's the one thing I can truly appreciate about western civilization. The acceptance of being open about your love to your family, where as in other parts of the world, it's still looked down upon or not as accepted.

My condolences though, I guess the only true comfort is knowing death spares no one- it's bound to happen to us all

[Mr.SugarSkulls]

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

Do you prefer the view from my house in the Mountains...or the my house at the beach..?


BOOM

Ok...not going to lie.

Maybe because I don't see it everyday and somewhat callous to beach views given my own , but that mountain view is absolutely spectacular

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Mr.SugarSkulls

Cultural differences are rough. That's the one thing I can truly appreciate about western civilization. The acceptance of being open about your love to your family, where as in other parts of the world, it's still looked down upon or not as accepted.

My condolences though, I guess the only true comfort is knowing death spares no one- it's bound to happen to us all

Finnish men are weird. They never say much but their actions make things clear. Not once in my life did I doubt his love, we just use actions more.

I pretty much trashed the roads of this country last summer as my therapy. I'd say I'm cool with all what went down but I know how much I lost.

I truly feel for you too. It is weird to grow up so fast, and before you lose a parent, you can always be a kid.

[ASBSECU E93]

Originally Posted by Mr.SugarSkulls

Ok...not going to lie.

Maybe because I don't see it everyday and somewhat callous to beach views given my own , but that mountain view is absolutely spectacular

Couple more for you - one from the beach (Gulf) and 3 from the hills

[Mr.SugarSkulls]

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

Couple more for you - one from the beach (Gulf) and 3 from the hills

Do you own separate properties or is one your front yard and the other your backyard? If so- that's impressive!

[ASBSECU E93]

Originally Posted by Mr.SugarSkulls

Do you own separate properties or is one your front yard and the other your backyard? If so- that's impressive!

I still have the one Mtn home, but I moved to the Central part of NC about 3 years ago and bought a small farm. The view is from the porch at different points of the year. The back yard is wooded, undeveloped, and continues up to the top of the mountain.

The Beach property is a Villa that I bought back in 2008 on the gulf coast when the market crashed. Picked it up in foreclosure - gutted the property and did a complete remodel...all the way back to studs. I 'camped' in the property with my dad for 2 weeks while we laid tile, installed the new kitchen, and bathrooms...new A/C, paint...

[Lups]

Damn, Sara must read this! You guys could be her dream!

[Mr.SugarSkulls]

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

I still have the own just the one Mtn home, but I moved to the Central part of NC about 3 years ago and bought a small farm. The view is from the porch at different points of the year. The back yard is wooded, undeveloped, and continues up to the top of the mountain.

The Beach property is a Villa that I bought back in 2008 on the gulf coast when the market crashed. Picked it up in foreclosure - gutted the property and did a complete remodel...all the way back to studs. I 'camped' in the property with my dad for 2 weeks while we laid tile, installed the new kitchen, and bathrooms...new A/C, paint...

Man that is impressive.

Too bad the weather sucks more than not- otherwise I'd be inclined to check out the area.

[Mr.SugarSkulls]

Originally Posted by Lups

Damn, Sara must read this! You guys could be her dream!

Nah, she needs a guy who will spoil her.

Don't know about Asb e93, but personally- not even my best friend gets a dime from me. Only my mom grandma and dog.

If they want it, work for it. Just like I did, simple.

[NEFARIOUS]

Damn guys, sorry to hear; my condolences... My pops was the most no-bullshit guy I know and was always a cool guy, and he was there for me much more than my own almost estranged mom that still creates a difficult dilemma of whether to keep her at arm's distance, or let her closer into my life provided I make a few safeguards (I know, I get a lot of heat for it, but unless I share specific stories and explain the whole deal, many people don't understand). But a whole bunch of diseases (including the worst case of depression I've ever witnessed) ravaged him until he stared down the barrel of a shotgun one afternoon, which will be exactly 2 years in a couple of weeks.

Personally, I just like to tell myself that since he suffered and went through so much, it's more of a relief and somewhat of a self-euthanization... But that only works to an extent. Like others said, it hurts like a motherfucker at first, but still haunts you when the memories still come around, especially when I encounter certain things that remind me of him... A trigger word to an inside joke, a Harley, or hell, even just a thought would randomly make me think of my pops.

[ASBSECU E93]

Originally Posted by Mr.SugarSkulls

Man that is impressive.

Too bad the weather sucks more than not- otherwise I'd be inclined to check out the area.

Seriously - not sure where you source your weather knowledge or info...

Western NC is absolutely gorgeous part of the country. The snow pic was a once in 20 year type of event. Don't get me wrong, I had snow every winter, but 2.5' of snow was an anomaly. The spring and fall are AMAZING here...summer is temperate, and the winter is cold enough to accommodate sking/snowboarding...

With regard to the weather in FL - the Tampa/St. Pete/Sarasota area is known to be a haven from Hurricanes. This area is located in a 'nook' of the Gulf side that somewhat shields it from direct hits. It is difficult for these storms to take a direct path to hit this area because of the path they typically track.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by NEFARIOUS

Damn guys, sorry to hear; my condolences... My pops was the most no-bullshit guy I know and was always a cool guy, and he was there for me much more than my own almost estranged mom that still creates a difficult dilemma of whether to keep her at arm's distance, or let her closer into my life provided I make a few safeguards (I know, I get a lot of heat for it, but unless I share specific stories and explain the whole deal, many people don't understand). But a whole bunch of diseases (including the worst case of depression I've ever witnessed) ravaged him until he stared down the barrel of a shotgun one afternoon, which will be exactly 2 years in a couple of weeks.

Personally, I just like to tell myself that since he suffered and went through so much, it's more of a relief and somewhat of a self-euthanization... But that only works to an extent. Like others said, it hurts like a motherfucker at first, but still haunts you when the memories still come around, especially when I encounter certain things that remind me of him... A trigger word to an inside joke, a Harley, or hell, even just a thought would randomly make me think of my pops.

Yeah, I get this. I can't be left alone with my mom. I don't hate her, I resent her in every way, but I do hate the influence and the ideas she gives to my kids.
After her last visit, it took me months to explain what she meant by saying I killed my dad. Sure, in the eyes of many I did. He had made papers telling he does want extra treatments after the situation was hopeless. Sure, he was getting a fever and I knew it was pneumonia. I consulted his doctors, we went through the proper channels, I said no to antibiotics and made sure he was in no pain.

Now... Try explaining that to a 4 year old.

I've spent all spring telling the kids that if they get sick, stuff will be taken care off. They won't die over a scratch.

[Mr.SugarSkulls]

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

Seriously - not sure where you source your weather knowledge or info...

Western NC is absolutely gorgeous part of the country. The snow pic was a once in 20 year type of event. Don't get me wrong, I had snow every winter, but 2.5' of snow was an anomaly. The spring and fall are AMAZING here...summer is temperate, and the winter is cold enough to accommodate sking/snowboarding...

With regard to the weather in FL - the Tampa/St. Pete/Sarasota area is known to be a haven from Hurricanes. This area is located in a 'nook' of the Gulf side that somewhat shields it from direct hits. It is difficult for these storms to take a direct path to hit this area because of the path they typically track.

Ok- let me clarify what I find shitty.

Snow/ all kinds. Light, heavy- I just don't like it.

Hurricanes. One is more than enough for me.

Any real possibility of a tornado WARNING. Not for me.

I've lived on the west coast my whole life. When Seattle is as bad as it gets- you're spoiled as to what your idea of "bad weather" is.

Then you move to Southern California- where the major threat, while a big one if "the big one" ever happens- it just adds on to that spoiled nature

[ASBSECU E93]

Originally Posted by Mr.SugarSkulls

Ok- let me clarify what I find shitty.

Snow/ all kinds. Light, heavy- I just don't like it.

Hurricanes. One is more than enough for me.

Any real possibility of a tornado WARNING. Not for me.

I've lived on the west coast my whole life. When Seattle is as bad as it gets- your spoiled as to what your idea of "bad weather" is.

Then you move to Southern California- where the major threat, while a big one if "the big one" ever happens- it just adds on to that spoiled nature

I get it - San Diego (Souther Cal) weather is

Just for clarity - Tornadoes are most prominent in the Mid-West...WNC gets an occasional snow storm...

FL get Hurricanes...

[Mr.SugarSkulls]

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

I get it - San Diego (Souther Cal) weather is

Just for clarity - Tornadoes are most prominent in the Mid-West...WNC gets an occasional snow storm...

FL get Hurricanes...

Doesn't take away of such beautiful sceneries you get to enjoy.

It just takes away of any real shot of us being neighbors, that's all lol

[ASBSECU E93]

Originally Posted by Mr.SugarSkulls

Doesn't take away of such beautiful sceneries you get to enjoy.

It just takes away of any real shot of us being neighbors, that's all lol

...see, that's what your missing

When I retire - my plan is to spend the winters and spring in FL (no threat of Hurricanes) and my summers and falls in WNC (no threat of snow)...

[NEFARIOUS]

Originally Posted by Mr.SugarSkulls

My condolences to you as well, that's definitely rough. I'm afraid of the same fate because I too take care of myself better than anyone I know. But when it's your time, it's simply your time.

It's a numbing club to be a part of, so it's good knowing people can relate. I'm grateful to still have my mom around, but when I lost my dad- I just remember the outter body experience feeling of a ton of pressure before fainting (I was told over the phone)

I always thought it would be a "painful" (literal) experience but it's not. I almost wish it was, because until a person goes through it, it's hard to explain. At least with literal pain there's still hope for a cure or remedy. This was more an immense feeling of helplessness, because no matter how much money you give, or how many good deeds you make- you'll never get another second with them.

Adversity will definitely helped a man grow, that's for sure.

Originally Posted by Lups

Yeah, I get this. I can't be left alone with my mom. I don't hate her, I resent her in every way, but I do hate the influence and the ideas she gives to my kids.
After her last visit, it took me months to explain what she meant by saying I kills my dad. Sure, in the eyes of many I did. He had made papers telling he does want extra treatments after the situation was hopeless. Sure, he was getting a fever and I knew it was pneumonia. I consulted his doctors, we went through the proper channels, I said no to antibiotics and made sure he was in no pain.

Now... Try explaining that to a 4 year old.

I've spent all spring telling the kids that if they get sick, stuff will be taken care off. They wont die over a scratch.

At least you didn't find out the horrible way; the medical examiner was somehow only able to find the address of the house I bought in my heyday and sold shortly after my business collapsed (3 years prior to my dad's death)... So I found out by email, on the morning of waiting for a court procedure, borrowing the phone of a random gentleman at Starbucks since I had T-Mobile prepaid at the time and the account was suspended since you can't even be late an HOUR (which did the night before and I was going to take care of it after court... But wound up just getting a 2 year contract with Verizon as the big F-U instead). Imagine testifying against your former employer for patient privacy law violations and trying your damnedest to keep your game face on.

Also for my mom, it has to do with the fact that I'm part Asian, and filial piety (or being one step short of worshipping your parents) is a HUGE part of Asian culture, so I'm stuck with having to explain myself to Asian people the most on why I can't be near my mom, and even after a whole rundown of every single scary incident and justification that will make any other race cry, they still try to think of ways to get her closer to me and it's a never-ending discussion...

...When I tell other races "Well, my mom has a few diagnosed mental orders, including one where I have papers from the doctor's office saying she is histrionic, OCPD, severely antisocial, and the worst case of passive-aggressiveness he has ever seen in his 25 years of practice. She tried to jump out of my car once and and stole from me twice"...

...That's good enough for them to not pursue it, or at least after more stories where she tried to stab a girl I was on the verge of establishing a serious relationship with for her spending too much time with me (OF COURSE, WHY NOT after you've been pestering me for grandchildren?!?), or the other time she broke into my house and tried to get me arrested for smoking weed (it was my hookah; thank God the cop wasn't dumb either AND just laughed it off, but I was impressed that she was able to assemble it almost perfectly) simply because I wasn't spending enough time with her (how is spending entire Sundays with her AND and running errands a couple times a week with a business owner's busy schedule "not enough"?).

Sorry, just had to rant a bit. I know I'm known for long posts, but I just needed to get it off my chest.