[floridaorange]

Originally Posted by Manny01

You're dealing with a wickedly skewed pareto distribution using these dating apps. 90% of the folks are chasing the top 5 to 10% of available candidates. If you're not some combination of tall, handsome, fit, wealty, successful, funny, brilliant, etc. it's going to be tough.

Damn - I wish I were single again sounds fun

[ASAP]

there isn't a trick... the apps are a facade... the match rate is insanely low even if you are the best looking / successful person

for girls, they really just use this for fun because it's so easy and they can go on a 100 dates in a short time... except that kind of defeats the purpose and they use it as an ego boost or to scam their instagrams...

sad but this is just the reality... I think in Europe you would have more success with it because you match w more people and the women there are more genuinely interested in meeting someone... here in the USA forget it.

also what is your metro area?

[BMW F22]

^ agreed on the Europe thing. Definitely had more success with apps when traveling abroad vs here in SF Bay Area. Perhaps the women here just have extremely high/unrealistic standards?

[ASAP]

Originally Posted by BMW F22

^ agreed on the Europe thing. Definitely had more success with apps when traveling abroad vs here in SF Bay Area. Perhaps the women here just have extremely high/unrealistic standards?

Most women here grew up in a very materialistic Toxic culture that was pushed by the likes of IG etc... rip w a solid relationship if the woman is 30 YO or younger.

[Manny01]

Originally Posted by floridaorange

Damn - I wish I were single again sounds fun

Jokes and humility aside: If I wasn't happily married I would slay ass with impunity in today's dating environment, but I'd also be exasperated with the shallow and hollow relationships.

I see what my successful single friends are doing and I just think DAMN! What if... LOL.

[wtwo3]

Catfish it till you make it

[Mason Hatcher]

Originally Posted by 2008M36MT

I just swipe right with no real results. Matched with some 40 year old Asian BBW (perfect) who was interested until I said she’d have to host…what’s the trick to getting results? I may not be that good looking, but not that bad!

[Joshua] The only winning move is not to play[/Joshua]

[MyZ4Coupe]

Men swipe right 50-60% of the time.

Women swipe right 5-10% of the time.

So ya... dating apps are awesome if you are in that 5-10% otherwise not so much.

[Germanauto]

It sucks dude, all guys have the same issue. And truth be told, if you're any type of minority you'll be even less successful. The ratio on apps have enabled women to become unreasonably picky.

I'm thankful I've had decent luck but it could be better. Hinge is a superior app for sure, but even then the statistics are what they are. I think swipe rate on guys is at best 30%.

Get the best photos of yourself possible and have some interesting shit to write in the prompts.

[zx10guy]

Originally Posted by 2008M36MT

I met a unicorn on Tinder, perfect girl, didn’t work because of me, but now I’m looking for FWB, short term, whatever. But it’s hard to get a match regardless.

What you wrote here is a problem and a window into why you're unsuccessful. There are no unicorns. Stop with the scarcity mindset. With the billions of females on this earth you think there are no other options?

I don't know what how your profile looks on these dating apps. As suggested, make sure you have good photos of yourself. If you can't take good photos, hire a photographer. Put up interesting things. Pics of you doing interesting things. Create a narrative that a woman looking at your profile can imagine themselves doing those things with you.

While I've had my fair share of duds and non-matches, I've had plenty of dates. One week I had a date pretty much each day of that week with one day having two dates. Online is not as bad as many make it out to be. It's a tool and you have to learn how to use it.

[eluded]

It's the subtle backgrounds that are the key to this. Like a subtle background of you in your expensive car or of you with your medical license… I found those to be very helpful.

[Dang3r]

At least here I am thinking that this is only a app for get-a-bang, even in Europe the girls are not willing to meet personal and just enter a bar and hope the best for not getting out later alone is quite small.
Thats the curse of the social media, if you havn't to show off something or you didn't participate this media frenzy, you're out mostly. Im affraid the classy days, where meeting coincidially and with small success are gone.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by 2008M36MT

I just swipe right with no real results. Matched with some 40 year old Asian BBW (perfect) who was interested until I said she’d have to host…what’s the trick to getting results? I may not be that good looking, but not that bad!

The trick is to delete all of those apps and never look back. They're an absolute waste of time. Be the best version of yourself you can be, know your worth, and get out there in the real world; women will appreciate and value you more than anything they'll find in an app if you do it correctly. Good luck.

[sgsdownhill]

What I have noticed is that around my age, 36; both males and females on those apps have very good reasons/flags as to why they are all still single......
The friends of mine that have successfully paired up around this age did it by tagging along to others social events.

[DETRoadster]

I looked on one time as my wife and a couple of her friends, one of whom was single at the time, scrolled through the single friends dating app. I was amazed at the brutality of their comments. I mean, it was F'ing savage! They spent no more than 5 seconds on each page, only looking at the photos, flicking through and laughing as they thrashed each guy without mercy: "Rapist, pedo, carney, tiny dick, bunny humper, lives in mom's basement with heads in the freezer..." maybe 1 in every 50 they would pause on for a second "Ahh, he looks sweet." and then move on.

The one beneficial piece of intel that I can pass on was which photos solicited the biggest laughs, sighs, and eyerolls:

- Shirtless photos in mirrors
- Gym photos
- Photos of cars, bikes, etc.
- Partying photos

Photos that seemed to get positive responses:

- Photos with a dog
- Outdoors type, hiking, camping, etc.
- Travel photos, like, the guy in front of the Eiffel Tower
- Photo of guy cooking (no BBQ ing)

Hope this helps. God speed. Dating apps sound miserable.

[ASAP]

I've said this before and I'll say it again -

20 Years ago if you were on dating apps, you were considered a weirdo, loner or some basement dweller.

Today, if you approach someone in public, you are looked upon as a weirdo.

This should tell you everything... society is screwed.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by ASAP

I've said this before and I'll say it again -

20 Years ago if you were on dating apps, you were considered a weirdo, loner or some basement dweller.

Today, if you approach someone in public, you are looked upon as a weirdo.

This should tell you everything... society is screwed.

Disagree. If you approach someone in public you are differentiating yourself from all of the boys using the apps. It takes confidence to do that, and women can smell confidence from 1000 miles away (not to mention it is arguably the thing they're attracted to the most). You have to be able to read whether someone is even attracted to you or not before you even think about approaching someone. Don't be a douche-canoe about it and it works a million times better than any app.

I do agree with one thing you said, and that is that society is skewed.

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by ASAP

I've said this before and I'll say it again -

20 Years ago if you were on dating apps, you were considered a weirdo, loner or some basement dweller.

Today, if you approach someone in public, you are looked upon as a weirdo.

This should tell you everything... society is screwed.

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Disagree. If you approach someone in public you are differentiating yourself from all of the boys using the apps. It takes confidence to do that, and women can smell confidence from 1000 miles away (not to mention it is arguably the thing they're attracted to the most). You have to be able to read whether someone is even attracted to you or not before you even think about approaching someone. Don't be a douche-canoe about it and it works a million times better than any app.

I do agree with one thing you said, and that is that society is skewed.

There was a member here not long ago that would freak if someone approached her in real life but meeting someone on line was perfectly fine and safe. I think it's an age thing. The younger generation lacks interpersonal skills. Everything is texts, no talking. It's pretty sad.

Get off my lawn

[jmack]

The only winning move is not to play.

[ASAP]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Disagree. If you approach someone in public you are differentiating yourself from all of the boys using the apps. It takes confidence to do that, and women can smell confidence from 1000 miles away (not to mention it is arguably the thing they're attracted to the most). You have to be able to read whether someone is even attracted to you or not before you even think about approaching someone. Don't be a douche-canoe about it and it works a million times better than any app.

I do agree with one thing you said, and that is that society is skewed.

So let me ask this... what is the proper setting for such an approach?

Bar / Club / Restaurant? You are competing with tons of people and all the girls think you are trying to hit on them.

Gym? No ONE wants to bothered there? Same story.

Grocery Store? Yes, if you are looking for a MILF.

Their job? Maybe, if they work at some retail establishment or they are a client but that won't work if you don't have an outside role.

Which ultimately comes down to the same story as always - the best way is thru friends and people who know people but that necessitates being social and or knowing people in the first place. This was also FAR EASIER when people were limited to a more local / geographic setting for finding their partner - i.e. before the internet. Throw apps / social media into this... holy shit now you have a buffett... and I am talking more about a poorly run one like Golden Corral. lol.

As far as a girl being attracted to you... this applies to EVERYTHING and will always come back to how good looking you are etc...

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by ASAP

So let me ask this... what is the proper setting for such an approach?

Anywhere. You're making too many assumptions. If someone is interested in you the setting won't matter. Again, do it right and you'll be fine.

Originally Posted by ASAP

As far as a girl being attracted to you... this applies to EVERYTHING and will always come back to how good looking you are etc...

I promise you looks are not the first thing on her list, even if she says they are. If you're not her type physically, it's just a hurdle but you CAN overcome it if you check all of her other boxes. Genuine confidence and self worth is what women are attracted to more than anything.

[ASAP]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Anywhere. You're making too many assumptions. If someone is interested in you the setting won't matter. Again, do it right and you'll be fine.



I promise you looks are not the first thing on her list, even if she says they are. If you're not her type physically, it's just a hurdle but you CAN overcome it if you check all of her other boxes. Genuine confidence and self worth is what women are attracted to more than anything.

That's the obvious answer i expected... I don't agree with anywhere... that simply isn't good advice... it won't work in a vast majority of places. That is just like applying to any and all jobs without any specificity or DMing every girl you see. Or saying follow your dreams... except a dream job almost never exists and you could end up poor if you go that direction.

For the 2nd comment... MAYBE... there is a zone that a girl can put you in within the first 30 seconds... and it could be entirely based on looks. That's just real life too... now once you get into apps, that opportunity that doesn't even present itself unless you've physically met up - which won't happen if you don't get past stage 1. This goes back to the app issue again... you can spend all this time talking / wasting time before you ever even meet up... you don't want to do that because that could entirely waste your time as when you meet up that person may be nothing like what you expected.