Tinder/Dating Apps

jtodd_fl · 07-25-2016, 05:08 AM

I beg you, Dilara from Bumble
I promise to always be humble
If you stay out of OT
Cuz if you go there and see
What I wrote, your opinion will tumble

smoosh

smoosh · 07-25-2016, 05:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

I beg of you, Dilara from Bumble
I promise to always be humble
If you stay away from OT
Cuz if you go there and see
What I wrote, your opinion will tumble

smoosh

Dilara, my love,
Elegant as a dove.
Our distance is far,
But I will visit you,
In jtodd's car.

Run, escape the STDs,
I'm just another Bumble bee.
I will destroy you,
Anally.

However,
I have no shame,
For your sudden fame
On this thread.
Come, to my bed.
Cum.
Dilara, my love.

jtodd_fl

jtodd_fl · 07-25-2016, 05:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoosh

Dilara, my love,
Elegant as a dove.
Our distance is far,
But I will visit you,
In jtodd's car.

Run, escape the STDs,
I'm just another Bumble bee.
I will destroy you,
Anally.

However,
I have no shame,
For your sudden fame
On this thread.
Come, to my bed.
Cum.
Dilara, my love.

jtodd_fl

Very impressive!

Let's try Shakespearean sonnet form?

Dilara, while in bumble have I found thee,
I long to learn more of you IRL,
I plan to violate you anally,
And likely find myself in hell,
I intend not to give you the AIDS,
Though verily in OT it runs amok,
And as I gently stroke your braids,
I'll softly whisper, "Wanna fuck?"
Since I know you're a cool chick,
When you come back from Arizona,
I want you to take my dick,
In your hand and make it a boner,
So always remember me, your dear smoosh
And ever when you think of me ... sploosh

smoosh · 07-25-2016, 06:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoosh

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

I beg of you, Dilara from Bumble
I promise to always be humble
If you stay away from OT
Cuz if you go there and see
What I wrote, your opinion will tumble

smoosh

Dilara, my love,
Elegant as a dove.
Our distance is far,
But I will visit you,
In jtodd's car.

Run, escape the STDs,
I'm just another Bumble bee.
I will destroy you,
Anally.

However,
I have no shame,
For your sudden fame
On this thread.
Come, to my bed.
Cum.
Dilara, my love.

jtodd_fl

Let's try sonnet form?

Dilara, while in bumble have I found thee,
I long to learn more of you IRL,
I plan to violate you anally,
And likely find myself in hell,
I intend not to give you the AIDS,
Though verily in OT it runs amok,
Though as I gently stroke your braids,
I'll softly whisper, "Wanna fuck?"
Since I know you're a cool chick,
When you come back from Arizona,
I want you to take my dick,
In your hand and make it a boner,
So forever remember me, your dear smoosh
And ever when you think of me ... sploosh

Exceptional poetry, good sir! Ah, yes, the Sonnet:

Dilara,

Do not search for my name on Bimmerpost,
For my ass will be eternally toast.
Why have you travelled to Arizona,
I miss the sweet smell of your aroma.
The smell of wet pussy you've left behind,
I masturbate to it from time to time.
Thank you for complimenting my looks,
I'm at your doorstep, listen, "dook, dook, dook."
I will have you screaming, pouting, begging,
To receive on your face, a fresh egging.
Pull down your undies and let me inside,
Bend over and spread your cheeks, nice and wide.
I have longed to again meet your booty,
In my mouth, it tastes soggy and poopy.

jtodd_fl

jtodd_fl · 07-25-2016, 06:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoosh

Exceptional poetry, good sir! Ah, yes, the Sonnet:

Dilara,

Do not search for my name on Bimmerpost,
For my ass will be eternally toast.
Why have you travelled to Arizona,
I miss the sweet smell of your aroma.
The smell of wet pussy you've left behind,
I masturbate to it from time to time.
Thank you for complimenting my looks,
I'm at your doorstep, listen, "dook, dook, dook."
I will have you screaming, pouting, begging,
To receive on your face, a fresh egging.
Pull down your undies and let me inside,
Bend over and spread your cheeks, nice and wide.
I have longed to again meet your booty,
In my mouth, it tastes soggy and poopy.

jtodd_fl

Cinquains then? They're much shorter at least!

"Dilara" by Smooshspeare

Bumble
It brought me you
My sketchy behavior
And talk of creampies frightened you
I cry

1LRM3 · 07-25-2016, 07:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by F87LUV

I feel like I just got an STD from reading this weekends highlights.

think we all need to get bloodwork and wash... scrub... pray... and continually examine in a paranoid state of WTF7 is that on my.....

jtodd_fl · 07-25-2016, 07:44 AM

We should start a "Poems by Smooshspeare" thread, in which people post poems of any structure and meter in the persona of smoosh. It can be creampie smoosh, heartbroken smoosh, tinder Romeo / Bollywood smoosh.... Haha.

Biorin · 07-25-2016, 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

We should start a "Poems by Smooshspeare" thread, in which people post poems of any structure and meter in the persona of smoosh. It can be creampie smoosh, heartbroken smoosh, tinder Romeo / Bollywood smoosh.... Haha.

Bollywood Smoosh requires accompanying dance routine.

1LRM3 · 07-25-2016, 07:53 AM

STDs are one of a kind

Yet they are so easy to find

Syphilis, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea and AIDS

You can catch all four in a matter of days

It’s not that hard

Just gotta get laid

But if you hire help

Don’t forget to pay

You would be surprised at who has them

Your dentist, your grandma

Especially the high-school-has-been

They leave pretty sores

Or runs in the potty

But they are most sexy if they are all over your body

Don’t be afraid of these diseases

Most of the time they are unavoidable as a wall

Because STDs are like Pokémon

“Gotta catch ‘em all”

[borrowed from some inter-famous dead guy on the net

BwoodBMW · 07-25-2016, 09:46 AM

Guys chill out with the poetry. It's raising the collective IQ of this thread too quickly and I'm worried that unfamiliar readers may come to the thread and expect this level of intelligence on a go forward basis.

That said, impressive work.

Axius · 07-25-2016, 09:54 AM

Who are we to catch an std
I for one want to start a family
One, two, three, maybe four
Each one with a different whore
Mommy mommy, they will cry
Daddy is gone, why oh why
Baby baby don't you see
Daddy has died from AIDS

jtodd_fl · 07-25-2016, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axius

Who are we to catch an std
I for one want to start a family
One, two, three, maybe four
Each one with a different whore
Mommy mommy, they will cry
Daddy is gone, why oh why
Baby baby don't you see
Daddy has died from AIDS

Mike. · 07-25-2016, 11:03 AM

Marry me

silvergray545 · 07-25-2016, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike.

Marry me

What's going on with the other girl you were talking to?

1MOREMOD · 07-25-2016, 11:17 AM

Kanye is important in your relationships?

Mike. · 07-25-2016, 11:28 AM

Kanye is huge to listen to in the car

And the other girl? We're jussssst hanging

MKSixer · 07-25-2016, 11:30 AM

There once was a man from Nantucket...

Aatish · 07-25-2016, 11:32 AM

...who ate his own shit from a bucket...

silvergray545 · 07-25-2016, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MKSixer

There once was a man from Nantucket...

I googled this shit and this is what popped up.

And everyone thinks I'm fucked up. TF

jtodd_fl · 07-25-2016, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by silvergray545

Quote:

Originally Posted by MKSixer

There once was a man from Nantucket...

I googled this shit and this is what popped up.

And everyone thinks I'm fucked up. TF

Just cuz they are, doesn't mean you aren't. You're welcome.

MKSixer · 07-25-2016, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by silvergray545

I googled this shit and this is what popped up.

And everyone thinks I'm fucked up. TF

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

Just cuz they are, doesn't mean you aren't. You're welcome.

silvergray545 , welcome to the family.

You can thank us for expanding your horizons later.

silvergray545 · 07-25-2016, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

Just cuz they are, doesn't mean you aren't. You're welcome.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MKSixer

silvergray545 , welcome to the family.

You can thank us for expanding your horizons later.

Oddly enough, I'm ok with this.

07-25-2016, 05:08 AM	#7107
jtodd_fl 2nd Asst to Dept Undersecretary 6709 Rep 1,298 Posts Drives: People crazy Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Florida iTrader: (0) Garage List 2015 F82 M4 [9.00] 2016 F87 M2 [0.00] 2011 E92 M3 [0.00]	I beg you, Dilara from Bumble I promise to always be humble If you stay out of OT Cuz if you go there and see What I wrote, your opinion will tumble smoosh __________________ This space for rent.
	Appreciate 3 Quote

07-25-2016, 07:44 AM	#7113
jtodd_fl 2nd Asst to Dept Undersecretary 6709 Rep 1,298 Posts Drives: People crazy Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Florida iTrader: (0) Garage List 2015 F82 M4 [9.00] 2016 F87 M2 [0.00] 2011 E92 M3 [0.00]	We should start a "Poems by Smooshspeare" thread, in which people post poems of any structure and meter in the persona of smoosh. It can be creampie smoosh, heartbroken smoosh, tinder Romeo / Bollywood smoosh.... Haha. __________________ This space for rent.
	Appreciate 2 Quote

07-25-2016, 07:53 AM	#7115
1LRM3 Captain 531 Rep 788 Posts Drives: LRP M3 E92, MR M3 E93 Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: CT<-->SC iTrader: (8) Garage List 2013 BMW M3 [8.00]	STDs are one of a kind Yet they are so easy to find Syphilis, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea and AIDS You can catch all four in a matter of days It’s not that hard Just gotta get laid But if you hire help Don’t forget to pay You would be surprised at who has them Your dentist, your grandma Especially the high-school-has-been They leave pretty sores Or runs in the potty But they are most sexy if they are all over your body Don’t be afraid of these diseases Most of the time they are unavoidable as a wall Because STDs are like Pokémon “Gotta catch ‘em all” [borrowed from some inter-famous dead guy on the net __________________ ENDLESS DETAILS, CT EPIC MOTORSPORTS, FL *Custom Auto Designs Protection Films, CT* *F.T.B.R. Garage, CT*
	Appreciate 0 Quote

07-25-2016, 09:46 AM	#7116
BwoodBMW Colonel 1859 Rep 2,537 Posts Drives: EFFEIGHTY Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: LA LA land iTrader: (0)	Guys chill out with the poetry. It's raising the collective IQ of this thread too quickly and I'm worried that unfamiliar readers may come to the thread and expect this level of intelligence on a go forward basis. That said, impressive work.
	Appreciate 2 Quote

07-25-2016, 09:54 AM	#7117
Axius Banned 4205 Rep 216 Posts Drives: 612 Scaglietti Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: Watch Me NayNay iTrader: (0)	Who are we to catch an std I for one want to start a family One, two, three, maybe four Each one with a different whore Mommy mommy, they will cry Daddy is gone, why oh why Baby baby don't you see Daddy has died from AIDS
	Appreciate 4 Quote

07-25-2016, 11:03 AM	#7119
Mike. Mike: Everyone's Pal 2044 Rep 2,974 Posts Drives: F80 M3 Join Date: May 2013 Location: Eastern Long Island iTrader: (5) Garage List 2013 BMW 335xi [10.00]	Marry me Attached Images __________________ [CENTER] 2021 6.2L Trail Boss, 6" BDS lift, Chevy Performance intake, 35" Nitto Grapplers, 20" Fuel wheels
	Appreciate 3 Quote

07-25-2016, 11:17 AM	#7121
1MOREMOD - 11822 Rep 23,186 Posts Drives: Race car-> Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: check your mirrors iTrader: (5)	Kanye is important in your relationships?
	Appreciate 1 Quote

07-25-2016, 11:28 AM	#7122
Mike. Mike: Everyone's Pal 2044 Rep 2,974 Posts Drives: F80 M3 Join Date: May 2013 Location: Eastern Long Island iTrader: (5) Garage List 2013 BMW 335xi [10.00]	Kanye is huge to listen to in the car And the other girl? We're jussssst hanging __________________ [CENTER] 2021 6.2L Trail Boss, 6" BDS lift, Chevy Performance intake, 35" Nitto Grapplers, 20" Fuel wheels
	Appreciate 1 Quote

07-25-2016, 11:30 AM	#7123
MKSixer Lieutenant General 34159 Rep 11,637 Posts Drives: 2015 BMW i8, E63 M6, 328d Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: Southeast United States iTrader: (0) Garage List 2016 M4 GTS (Allotted) [0.00] 2013 BMW 328d [0.00] 2007 BMW M6 [10.00] 2015 BMW i8 [10.00]	There once was a man from Nantucket... __________________ Several actors have played James Bond, Sean Connery IS James Bond... Sir 7ewis, 7X FIA Formula One World Championship, World Driving Champion. 100 Wins. 101 Pole Positions. 54 Fastest Laps. Actual Rain Master. Leave me to it, Bono. One Race Win in each of his 15 years in F1. Most Laps Led in Formula One. The Centurion.
	Appreciate 1 Quote

07-25-2016, 11:32 AM	#7124
Aatish Lofty 3476 Rep 849 Posts Drives: i4 M50, 991.2 C2, RRS Diesel Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: ORD <> ATX iTrader: (0)	...who ate his own shit from a bucket... __________________ F30 335 (FBO and BM3 OG) 991.2 C2 Range Rover Sport Diesel I4 M50 (coming soon)
	Appreciate 2 Quote