[Gripster]

Not an easy decision. Problem is, if you wait for 'the right time' from a purely financial perspective, it will never come. It will always be more expensive to be a parent than not.

I would just roll the dice (if you know what I mean) and let nature decide. If it's meant to happen, then great. If not, you get to keep your lifestyle. You win either way.

[777ER]

Originally Posted by Neurorad

Would you consider moving out of the city? Did you grow up in NYC?

If you move to a good suburb, you don't have to pay for private school. And you can spend MUCH more time in your BMW.

I wish I had kids earlier; my wife and I waited 10 years, until we were 'financially secure'.

to the OP. Do me a favor, don't move into Westchester county, there's enough traffic already!

[SE3P_to_E90]

Originally Posted by l4wr3nc3

Their was a statstical analysis i read somewhere (not some ghetto website, it was a goverment website, just dont remember what it was) that said it cost close to $400,000 to raise a child up to the age of 18. And this doesn't include college tuition either.

that's a fairly conservative estimate...let alone the financial bias that's well established in this forum being bmw drivers (not intended to sound pompous in any way).

i guarantee you, if you go post on a honda or mazda thread, you're surely to get completely different answers.

it's very respectful that you're looking to raise your kids right, but on the whole, whether you're poverty-stricken or filthy rich, if the love and motivation's there, all the pieces will fall right into place and fit perfectly.

think of kids as a cruise ship... don't expect to be able to take care of everything by itself... if you want it turn toward your intended destination, expect to make all the tiny adjustments here and there to get there.

all in all, it seems that you're on a great path toward parenthood, so i suspect that your potential children will be as successful as you are. your frugal, yet educated mindset financially (while endulging yourself once in awhile to the finer luxuries in life) is one that is commendable.

don't stress too much... when you want to just go for it and have your child, i think it'll all work out perfectly.

[SE3P_to_E90]

Originally Posted by SteveMD

Hmm...OK. Come to Baltimore.

There are plenty of great public school systems in the US and plenty of really bad ones.

Anecdotally as a seasoned codger I will say that the level of education that I see in average US youths is way below par.

Personally, I don't need my child going through metal detectors on a daily basis. Hence private school.

-1...
i'm sorry, baltimore stinks... once i step out of campus, i always expect the unexpected -- hence, going to the gym and preparing for the inevitable...

Since you're in NYC, expect to move out. Private school... not worth it in NY. Move to the better parts of Nassau county. My public high school was a blue ribbon (presidential award) recipient. although the taxes account to be rough $15000/yr, it's a small price to pay for having one of the best athletic and academic programs nation-wide.

Plus, i'm sure with the Pay to Park in NYC, if you get rid of that, you'll be able to have triplets without a problem

[SE3P_to_E90]

Originally Posted by Neurorad

Your own child's smile is priceless:

most of my childhood was in the US, but before i was 7yrs/old my entire family used to live in S.Korea. We moved into Queens and my father didn't like nor did he approve of my forward outlook on what was to be my life.

Long story short, he worked his ass off, and moved into LI just before highschool. Not having seen any kind of field turf or grass in queens, i quickly took advantage of this opportunity and excelled in sports provided as a result of my father instilling his beliefs in me. now adding to what NEURORAD said, on the other end of his perspective, i couldn't agree any more... he is right on :rocks: During my Varsity games, at every significant and nerve-wrecking moment, i would see my dad's approving eyes reassuring me that despite whatever happens, he will always be proud... i look forward (in approximately a decade) to pursure parenthood with the same passion and motivation the drives my father.

The point of this story is, your outlook on parenthood is all that you need -- albeit the child's education and general atmosphere will surely have an impact on their growth. Move to Nassau -- from your experiences growing up, you know you wouldn't want your child to grow up any other way.

[all8up]

Well if you are asking about the financial impact, here is what it costs in me in Northern VA (not a cheap place to live, but less expensive than NYC).

Daycare = 1k a month, people pay anywhere between 800-1400 around here.
529 College savings plan = 500 a month till they are 18, this will essentially pay for a 4 year in-state school.

I don't even keep tabs on formula/daily living expenses, but hopefuly this gives you an idea. Lastly, good luck to you and your wife!

[darkcloud]

After reading some of the posts coming from stuck up kids on this forum I've come to think this for you;

Don't save too much money. If you save too much then your kid will think your rich and always have his/her hand out for something. Maybe even a 335i? Then that child will unleash his stubborn, idotic thoughts and comments onto a web forum, like this place. It's a vicious cycle, so I say raise the child modest so we don't have even more dumb kids posting on car forums.

People can only take so many, "My parents are ordering me a 335i, what options should I get" threads. Gluck, Please don't allow your child to become this lol.

I'm looking back now and why did you change your name to morecowbell?

[SE3P_to_E90]

Originally Posted by darkcloud

After reading some of the posts coming from stuck up kids on this forum I've come to think this for you;

Don't save too much money. If you save too much then your kid will think your rich and always have his/her hand out for something. Maybe even a 335i? Then that child will unleash his stubborn, idotic thoughts and comments onto a web forum, like this place. It's a vicious cycle, so I say raise the child modest so we don't have even more dumb kids posting on car forums.

People can only take so many, "My parents are ordering me a 335i, what options should I get" threads. Gluck, Please don't allow your child to become this lol.

I'm looking back now and why did you change your name to morecowbell?

there are plenty of kids that i went to school with whose parents had lots of money. sure, the majority of them were prissy little "super sweet 16 driven" girls, but the ones with parents who actually cared about them are doing relatively well...

as for college savings... F that... use the "asian-parent" standard... which means (until college at least), if they get grades below the top 10% percentile, expect a beating

that way, when it's college time, the grants, scholarships are sure to ensue

[SE3P_to_E90]

i just got cake for my birthday
but i always spend... well... before college... my birthday with my family, so i couldn't ask for more

[pscott]

This Thread Is Boooooring

[SE3P_to_E90]

Originally Posted by pscott

This Thread Is Boooooring

do u go on threads to criticize? b/c i'm pretty sure you don't have to read through the posts, waste your time, just so you can share your worthless comment.

[ska///235i]

Originally Posted by pscott

This Thread Is Boooooring

and you're gay

[schneid4323]

Ill put it this way....... between car issues and legallities alone I have easily cost my parents over 100k. Kids arent cheap, hell its another mouth to feed, and guess whose wallet all their problems come out of...

[jkcali2ooo]

Just thought I'd let you know (if you don't already know) ... the longer you wait the higher the probability that your child will have some disfunction. Whether it be Autism, downsyndrome etc... As we all know, the human body starts slowly deteriorate particularly after the age of 30, which means your DNA may have slight defects or "add on tails" due to the aging process which inevitably lead to a higher probability of defects in newborns. You should consult your doc to see if he has any suggestions etc.

Some women today actually freeze their eggs when they are younger and then after advancing in their careers to the extent they are ready to have kids will then inject the egg back into the "future mom". I know careers are a huge factor typically inhibiting adults middle class and upward from having kids early. Good luck.

[schneid4323]

Originally Posted by jkcali2ooo

Some women today actually freeze their eggs when they are younger and then after advancing in their careers to the extent they are ready to have kids will then inject the sperm and then reinject the egg back into the "future mom". I know careers are a huge factor typically inhibiting middle class and up adults from having kids early. Good luck.

Ya know I just got done convincing myself that california wasnt a strange place..... This is now gonna take alot more convincing.

[jkcali2ooo]

I re-edited but essentailly the same. This isn't happening just in CA but throughout the US. It is a slowly growing trend. Not sure if people in other countries do this, but I imagine so.

[schneid4323]

Originally Posted by jkcali2ooo

I re-edited but essentailly the same. This isn't happening just in CA but throughout the US. It is a slowly growing trend. Not sure if people in other countries do this, but I imagine so.

"[Not] just in CA but throughout the US" the californian virus spreads like ebola....

[Alchem]

Priceless..

[dickster]

This thread strikes me as purely ironic...

Folks like the OP are precisely the ones who ought to be having children; it's the hangers-on in our society who expect the government to provide for their every need, including feeding and housing their accidental offspring, that should be asking if they should have kids.

It appears that you are in a financial position to have children and raise them in a nurturing, healthy environment. You owe it to the rest of us to create progeny...otherwise, the welfare moms win. We are moving toward a nation where the 'have nots' outnumber the 'haves' by such a large margin that all of us will be supporting them; you may as well support someone you can not only love but actually know.

Besides, as everyone understands, it's not the initial cost but the upkeep.

[schneid4323]

Originally Posted by dickster

It appears that you are in a financial position to have children and raise them in a nurturing, healthy environment. You owe it to the rest of us to create progeny...otherwise, the welfare moms win. We are moving toward a nation where the 'have nots' outnumber the 'haves' by such a large margin that all of us will be supporting them; you may as well support someone you can not only love but actually know.

Besides, as everyone understands, it's not the initial cost but the upkeep.

Well if you wanna get technical about the economic future of the country.... no mater what there are gonna be more people retired/not working then there are gonna be working in about 10-20 years (Result of the babyboomers getting old). No mater what we are gonna have to be financially supporting a much larger group then currently, through social security and such.

[SE3P_to_E90]

Originally Posted by schneid4323

Well if you wanna get technical about the economic future of the country.... no mater what there are gonna be more people retired/not working then there are gonna be working in about 10-20 years (Result of the babyboomers getting old). No mater what we are gonna have to be financially supporting a much larger group then currently, through social security and such.

let's see what social security and such have in mind... my prediction, a big chunk will come from newly reformed estate taxes...

[Majikthese42]

Originally Posted by MoreCowbell

So I ask, those who have children, what do children do to your FINANCIAL bottom line monthly. How much more difficult does it make things?

Kids are probably no more expensive than gambling, drugs, German cars or multiple marriages.

The real fun begins when the college tuition bills arrive!

CLICK HERE

Mine graduated from one of those last year, to the immediate improvement of my cash flow.