[Aatish]

Originally Posted by TrevorM3

hi

Sup

[Biorin]

I have a new associate at work. He smells as if he has not bathed in a month - the BO is obvious from a couple feet away, but there's a noticeable stench even as I enter his area. On top of this, he is a blithering idiot, and has a constant smirk on his face as he asks any question, likely because he finds himself hilarious.

He constantly tells stories - "so, like, the other, like, day, like, I went to that burger place by the mall, it's like... actually good... like, they said they do, like, grass fed burgers and shit HA HA not the burger that would be so funny, ha ha ha, I mean like, the cow, can you like, imagine, like, if they meant the burger?" and "so when I was in college, like, the student center had a Panda Express, and like, every day after work, I would like, run over there and like get food... it was like, six dollars, and I got like orange chicken and rice and noodles... keeps you full."

He also gets drunk at work events and hugs me, calls me by nicknames or my last name, sends emails with the subject line "hey," and tries to flirt with me by insisting that his stock Honda Accord sedan could "like, definitely take your Bimmer."

I am normally the most casual and forgiving person in the world, but I am going to kick him in the teeth any second now. I understand not knowing the etiquette at your very first job, but some things are basic common sense. /endrant

[RJ_]

Originally Posted by Biorin

I have a new associate at work. He smells as if he has not bathed in a month - the BO is obvious from a couple feet away, but there's a noticeable stench even as I enter his area. On top of this, he is a blithering idiot, and has a constant smirk on his face as he asks any question, likely because he finds himself hilarious.

He constantly tells stories - "so, like, the other, like, day, like, I went to that burger place by the mall, it's like... actually good... like, they said they do, like, grass fed burgers and shit HA HA not the burger that would be so funny, ha ha ha, I mean like, the cow, can you like, imagine, like, if they meant the burger?" and "so when I was in college, like, the student center had a Panda Express, and like, every day after work, I would like, run over there and like get food... it was like, six dollars, and I got like orange chicken and rice and noodles... keeps you full."

He also gets drunk at work events and hugs me, calls me by nicknames or my last name, sends emails with the subject line "hey," and tries to flirt with me by insisting that his stock Honda Accord sedan could "like, definitely take your Bimmer."

I am normally the most casual and forgiving person in the world, but I am going to kick him in the teeth any second now. I understand not knowing the etiquette at your very first job, but some things are basic common sense. /endrant

Sounds immature, like he watches too much Workaholics. Does he think you're his default office friend because you're around the same age?

But make sure you roll race his Accord, wouldn't want to start from a dig and stall the F80.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Biorin

I have a new associate at work. He's a blithering idiot, blah blah too long to quote

Cut him?

Some people are annoying, perhaps he will move on to a different audience once you repeatedly give him the cold shoulder. Then again, he might be crushing on you, heaven help you if so. Because then you are back to option one, which is to cut him.

[Biorin]

Originally Posted by RJ_

Sounds immature, like he watches too much Workaholics. Does he think you're his default office friend because you're around the same age?

But make sure you roll race his Accord, wouldn't want to start from a dig and stall the F80.

He worked with me when he interned, and was just as immediately casual then. I think he's one of those who makes the mistake of "wow, this person smiled at me/is nice, they must love me."

He said he would beat me "at least for the first 10 seconds," and I sort of thought about my shifting speed and figured he might not be too far off.

[Biorin]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Cut him?

Some people are annoying, perhaps he will move on to a different audience once you repeatedly give him the cold shoulder. Then again, he might be crushing on you, heaven help you if so. Because then you are back to option one, which is to cut him.

I have turned into the world's most frigid bitch, and it has zero impact. A coworker theorizes that it's now a "hard to get" effect. I don't want to cut him, as I'd have to get too close to his putrid flesh.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Biorin

I have turned into the world's most frigid bitch, and it has zero impact. A coworker theorizes that it's now a "hard to get" effect. I don't want to cut him, as I'd have to get too close to his putrid flesh.

Coworker is very possibly right. Well, given the little I know about you and what you've said here about him, it would appear a very fair assumption that you are significantly more senior to him in rank. Perhaps a manager or at least senior staff accountant? It's a fine line, but could be you give him the miserable crappy work, consistently, when you see him...without making it too overtly obvious to others. Run him hard, and soon he'll be looking to avoid you.

That, and I'm not ashamed to admit I use racial and gender stereotypes to my advantage in attempting to figure out what makes the person across from me tick and how to get them to react in a way that I would like them to. They aren't always accurate, but they exist for a reason, and that's because on average they are correct. I'm definitely not politically correct, but really don't care.

[nyalpine90]

snap a pic so we can make a meme out of him...

i think he has a crush on you lol

Originally Posted by Biorin

I have a new associate at work. He smells as if he has not bathed in a month - the BO is obvious from a couple feet away, but there's a noticeable stench even as I enter his area. On top of this, he is a blithering idiot, and has a constant smirk on his face as he asks any question, likely because he finds himself hilarious.

He constantly tells stories - "so, like, the other, like, day, like, I went to that burger place by the mall, it's like... actually good... like, they said they do, like, grass fed burgers and shit HA HA not the burger that would be so funny, ha ha ha, I mean like, the cow, can you like, imagine, like, if they meant the burger?" and "so when I was in college, like, the student center had a Panda Express, and like, every day after work, I would like, run over there and like get food... it was like, six dollars, and I got like orange chicken and rice and noodles... keeps you full."

He also gets drunk at work events and hugs me, calls me by nicknames or my last name, sends emails with the subject line "hey," and tries to flirt with me by insisting that his stock Honda Accord sedan could "like, definitely take your Bimmer."

I am normally the most casual and forgiving person in the world, but I am going to kick him in the teeth any second now. I understand not knowing the etiquette at your very first job, but some things are basic common sense. /endrant

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

snap a pic so we can make a meme out of him...

i think he has a crush on you lol

Oh, this would be fun! And she could totally wash her hands of it and say she didn't create the meme.

I see something along the likes of scumbag steve being created. Would have to do it when he's drunk and he doesn't realize you are taking a pic.

[Biorin]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Coworker is very possibly right. Well, given the little I know about you and what you've said here about him, it would appear a very fair assumption that you are significantly more senior to him in rank. Perhaps a manager or at least senior staff accountant? It's a fine line, but could be you give him the miserable crappy work, consistently, when you see him...without making it too overtly obvious to others. Run him hard, and soon he'll be looking to avoid you.

That, and I'm not ashamed to admit I use racial and gender stereotypes to my advantage in attempting to figure out what makes the person across from me tick and how to get them to react in a way that I would like them to. They aren't always accurate, but they exist for a reason, and that's because on average they are correct. I'm definitely not politically correct, but really don't care.

I am more senior, and it's already his job to do the miserable, crappy work. The problem is that he's an idiot to begin with - he'll highlight areas where he has questions, and yesterday he had highlighted the dates. I left him a review comment about learning how to use a calendar. No deterrent.

I'm pretty good at figuring people out, at least when I care to. Not sure I've ever based much on racial or gender stereotypes, though. Care to elaborate on what you might do in the current situation? He's white, if that has an impact... Eastern European in origin.

[smoosh]

Originally Posted by Biorin

I have a new associate at work. He smells as if he has not bathed in a month - the BO is obvious from a couple feet away, but there's a noticeable stench even as I enter his area. On top of this, he is a blithering idiot, and has a constant smirk on his face as he asks any question, likely because he finds himself hilarious.

He constantly tells stories - "so, like, the other, like, day, like, I went to that burger place by the mall, it's like... actually good... like, they said they do, like, grass fed burgers and shit HA HA not the burger that would be so funny, ha ha ha, I mean like, the cow, can you like, imagine, like, if they meant the burger?" and "so when I was in college, like, the student center had a Panda Express, and like, every day after work, I would like, run over there and like get food... it was like, six dollars, and I got like orange chicken and rice and noodles... keeps you full."

He also gets drunk at work events and hugs me, calls me by nicknames or my last name, sends emails with the subject line "hey," and tries to flirt with me by insisting that his stock Honda Accord sedan could "like, definitely take your Bimmer."

I am normally the most casual and forgiving person in the world, but I am going to kick him in the teeth any second now. I understand not knowing the etiquette at your very first job, but some things are basic common sense. /endrant

me thinks he likes you and gets nervous when talking to you, hence the stuttering...

slit his throat and put his head on a fucking stick

[silvergray545]

Originally Posted by Biorin

I am more senior, and it's already his job to do the miserable, crappy work. The problem is that he's an idiot to begin with - he'll highlight areas where he has questions, and yesterday he had highlighted the dates. I left him a review comment about learning how to use a calendar. No deterrent.

I'm pretty good at figuring people out, at least when I care to. Not sure I've ever based much on racial or gender stereotypes, though. Care to elaborate on what you might do in the current situation? He's white, if that has an impact... Eastern European in origin.

Ahh makes sense now. My Eastern European friends are savages. He definitely like you and/or wants to hook up with you. Try not to stab him. Good luck.

[Biorin]

Very violent suggestions. I approve.

[nyalpine90]

Biorin he probably likes how you treat him lol

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by Biorin

I have a new associate at work. He smells as if he has not bathed in a month - the BO is obvious from a couple feet away, but there's a noticeable stench even as I enter his area. On top of this, he is a blithering idiot, and has a constant smirk on his face as he asks any question, likely because he finds himself hilarious.

He constantly tells stories - "so, like, the other, like, day, like, I went to that burger place by the mall, it's like... actually good... like, they said they do, like, grass fed burgers and shit HA HA not the burger that would be so funny, ha ha ha, I mean like, the cow, can you like, imagine, like, if they meant the burger?" and "so when I was in college, like, the student center had a Panda Express, and like, every day after work, I would like, run over there and like get food... it was like, six dollars, and I got like orange chicken and rice and noodles... keeps you full."

He also gets drunk at work events and hugs me, calls me by nicknames or my last name, sends emails with the subject line "hey," and tries to flirt with me by insisting that his stock Honda Accord sedan could "like, definitely take your Bimmer."

I am normally the most casual and forgiving person in the world, but I am going to kick him in the teeth any second now. I understand not knowing the etiquette at your very first job, but some things are basic common sense. /endrant

[TrevorM3]

Originally Posted by Biorin

I have a new associate at work. He smells as if he has not bathed in a month - the BO is obvious from a couple feet away, but there's a noticeable stench even as I enter his area. On top of this, he is a blithering idiot, and has a constant smirk on his face as he asks any question, likely because he finds himself hilarious.

He constantly tells stories - "so, like, the other, like, day, like, I went to that burger place by the mall, it's like... actually good... like, they said they do, like, grass fed burgers and shit HA HA not the burger that would be so funny, ha ha ha, I mean like, the cow, can you like, imagine, like, if they meant the burger?" and "so when I was in college, like, the student center had a Panda Express, and like, every day after work, I would like, run over there and like get food... it was like, six dollars, and I got like orange chicken and rice and noodles... keeps you full."

He also gets drunk at work events and hugs me, calls me by nicknames or my last name, sends emails with the subject line "hey," and tries to flirt with me by insisting that his stock Honda Accord sedan could "like, definitely take your Bimmer."

I am normally the most casual and forgiving person in the world, but I am going to kick him in the teeth any second now. I understand not knowing the etiquette at your very first job, but some things are basic common sense. /endrant

he's making you his bitch


#alphamale

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by Biorin

I have turned into the world's most frigid bitch, and it has zero impact. A coworker theorizes that it's now a "hard to get" effect. I don't want to cut him, as I'd have to get too close to his putrid flesh.

28" Katana, problem solved.

Wife had a staff that always disappeared at lunch, never went out to dinner with the team when on site and some times disappeared mid afternoon. She later learned that every day at lunch and immediacy after work he went home / to the hotel to shower. Sometimes went home mid afternoon to shower. He was a blithering idiot when it came to public accounting. Like couldn't do the most basic straight out of college accounting tasks after 5 months on the job.

[RJ_]

You should D.E.N.N.I.S. him, but make the 'E' emasculate.

[Biorin]

Originally Posted by RJ_

You should D.E.N.N.I.S. him, but make the 'E' emasculate.

I require further detail here.

[RJ_]

Originally Posted by Biorin

I require further detail here.

http://itsalwayssunny.wikia.com/wiki....N.I.S._System

[Biorin]

Originally Posted by RJ_

http://itsalwayssunny.wikia.com/wiki....N.I.S._System

This seems to require investing time, energy, and/or vagina in him.

[Mr Tonka]

Next time he tells you a funny (to him) story give him a fake laugh and say that it reminded you of a funny meme you saw. Pull out your phone, text this to him and walk away. Repeat as many times as it takes to get rid of the smell.