[ibarry92]

Originally Posted by Vic311

"...if you call too soon you might scare off a nice baby who's ready to party"

This is what I'm thinking. I feel like she is interested. So if I let her be, she might end up calling or texting me. The more I stay away, the closer she wants to come?

[ibarry92]

Originally Posted by boostedTIAG335

Ask her exactly what day she's off. If she beats around the bush, she's not interested. Unless she's working 70 hours a week, I'm sure all her time isn't occupied.

P.S. Hispanic girls are bat shit crazy. Just cut one off recently.

And I have to ask this question...where the eff are the pics?

I know for a fact that she is busy because I asked her before, during one of our small conversations, what she was going to do during summer. She said work and summer classes. I don't think summer classes has started, so she is probably working full-time now.

[ibarry92]

Originally Posted by sasha1015

She wants the d



But seriously.. Sounds like shes interested... Text her in couple of days just to say hi...
Then call her a few days after and ask her to go out. You got this!

You see I would, but I don't want to seem too desperate/needy/thirsty/etc.. Also I don't want to come off as annoying or pushy.

[ibarry92]

Originally Posted by panicos81

she is not sure if she is interested (which is a bad thing)

and you should have insisted on picking her up..

I feel like she is. I can hear it in her voice. When I offered lunch, I could hear in her voice that she did not have a way to get to the restaurant. Then she asked me where I lived and she said that it's far. That might mean that she doesn't want me to drive all that way to come pick her up. Almost like she feels like she is not worthy? I don't want her to feel that way, but I don't know how to go about doing that. I also think that she isn't rescheduling with me because she doesn't want me to go out my way to come get her. I really don't mind the drive.

I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud and over-analyzing.

[ibarry92]

Originally Posted by kevinbahnz

i dotn think she's interested , but if she is she might be busy with her new job so give her some space. just text her with short sentences and see how she replies.. When she feels comfortable with you she will ask you out.

A little bit of information I let out: I did text her once asking, "how do you think you did on your exams?" And got no reply. We talked again in class two days later, then I called her the next day. I don't think texting might be a wise decision at this point because I see it as a way to run and hide. Talking on the phone might be better. Especially where we left off, calling would be wise. If that goes well, then I could think about texting her.

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by ibarry92

I feel like she is. I can hear it in her voice. When I offered lunch, I could hear in her voice that she did not have a way to get to the restaurant. Then she asked me where I lived and she said that it's far. That might mean that she doesn't want me to drive all that way to come pick her up. Almost like she feels like she is not worthy? I don't want her to feel that way, but I don't know how to go about doing that. I also think that she isn't rescheduling with me because she doesn't want me to go out my way to come get her. I really don't mind the drive.

I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud and over-analyzing.

Yes, you are. See the post by Judge.

Confident and pushy are two very different things. Most girls like guys who are confident, even if it comes off as pushy once in a while. In contrast, most girls don't like guys who aren't confident. Even if the perceived lack of confidence is only because you're trying to be a super nice guy.

[ibarry92]

Originally Posted by jfiore13

Exactly ! Insist on picking her up ! Make her feel comfortable and that you don't mind even if is far ... Play it cool don't be discouraged if you don't hear from here in a few days just wait a lil longer and then text her again guarantee she is thinking of you too and when you will texting her again she's the girl you gotta take charge over here

Your right. What Angerman and you said is on point. Next time I call, I will take charge and tell her that I will come pick her up. But when I asked her, "where can I pick you up?" She hesitated and did not want to give me her house address to come get her. Completely understandable. But if I do offer to pick her up, she is not going to have an answer as to where I can come get her. How do i get around that obstacle? How do I tell her i'm willing to drive to get her? And that she should not be worried. I feel like that is the only thing in between us.

[panicos81]

Originally Posted by ibarry92

Your right. What Angerman and you said is on point. Next time I call, I will take charge and tell her that I will come pick her up. But when I asked her, "where can I pick you up?" She hesitated and did not want to give me her house address to come get her. Completely understandable. But if I do offer to pick her up, she is not going to have an answer as to where I can come get her. How do i get around that obstacle? How do I tell her i'm willing to drive to get her? And that she should not be worried. I feel like that is the only thing in between us.

well tell her to meet at a corner near her house or a mall or anything in walking distance and then you pick her up.
and take her for dinner not lunch..
and relax..

edit: after reading the posts above, reduce messages and phone calls until you go out.. just throw in a i like talking to you through the phone but i prefer face to face, or something. improvise!!

[faou4rm]

i'm impatient and pretty straight forward so i just yolo and go in..
It hasn't failed me yet and that's actually how i ended up with my gf of 3.5 years !

Just go in with no hesitation and if things don't work out, move on

[Rotorocious]

Aren't you just supposed to ask when she will let you tap that?

[Vic311]

Originally Posted by Templar

What's up with all the dating assistance threads popping up lately?

Summer time, love is in the air..lol

[shah269]

3 days

[Vic311]

Originally Posted by ibarry92

This is what I'm thinking. I feel like she is interested. So if I let her be, she might end up calling or texting me. The more I stay away, the closer she wants to come?

Don't ask me why, but women respond to aloofness.

The more you are on her, the more she's likely to brush you off. Conversely, put her on a "pay no mind" list and watch how quickly she will be contacting you.

It's a game.

[ibarry92]

Originally Posted by Judge

You definitely had her hook, line and sinker but never bothered to reel her in. Way too passive and – as others have said you should have insisted on a meetup. Because I'm bored at work let's do a play-by-play:

Me: "Good morning ********. Good luck on your exams. Wish you the best!" (you sound like her girlfriend)
Her: "Good morning! Aw thank you!! You too!!!"
Me: "Btw, this is ******. Lol"
Her: "Lol yea lucky guess!" (good sign. She doesn't just give her number to anyone and knew it was you)

Me: "Hi, how are you?" (boring way to start a text)
Her: "Good, thank you. And you?"
Me: "I'm doing well, thanks for asking." (Seriously? Thanks for asking??)
Me: "Do you have a second or are you busy?" (don't give her the easy out with unnecessary questions)
Her: "I'm free." (ok, well, you dodged a bullet. She's into you.)
Me: "Are you still in the process or studying for your exams or are you all done?" (unnecessary question, this isn't a job interview)
Her: "I'm finally all done. Today was my last exam." (but she's still interested!)
Me: "Congratulations, you must be excited." (now you sound like her father)

Me: "Cool, well since you are all done with your exams. I would like to take you out for lunch. " (still weak, but at least you're finally moving past academics and showing some assertiveness)
Her: "Sure, I would like that." (This is control tower. You are clear for landing.)
Me: "What do you like to eat, what would you prefer?" (don't put the ball in a girl's court for the first date, especially a shy girl. They want you to make the decisions. Asking questions and constantly forcing her to make decisions will plant seeds of doubt in her mind)


Her: "I'm pretty open to anything." (This is control tower, if you didn't receive the last transmission let me repeat you are clear for landing. Pick your runway. They're all open.)

Me: "How does pizza sound?" (did you forget the part where she said "I'm open to anything?")

Her: "Great." (Control tower here. If you don't want to land the plane feel free to parachute. Whatever is convenient for you. There's no wrong move here. Crash land if you like.)

Me: "Ok, I know a great pizza place in *****. I'm not sure if you know the place. (Unnecessary text sprinkled with seeds of doubt. Go for the kill.)
Her: "I don't think so; I don't go out much." (All runways open. Lights at full brightness.)
Me: Would you like to meet at the restaurant?" (What???? At this point you are begging her to change her mind or back out. Of course she wants to meet you.)
Her: "The only problem is that I don't drive." (Hmm, she didn't disclose this barrier when she seemed really into you)
Me: "Well thats no problem, where would you like me to pick you up at?" (At this point you've officially delegated the plans to her. Disaster. Fuel at zero and you're running on fumes.)
Her: "Where do you live?"

Me: "************" (A better answer: "Don't worry about it, I'll pick you up at 7:30")
Her: "Oh, that is far." (This is what happens when you plant seeds of doubt.)
Her: "I'm going to have to meet you somewhere." (She's waffling and completely unsure. From now on don't give her any more decisions to make)
Me: "Ok, how is tomorrow or saturday looking like for you?" (Welp)
Her: "I'm not sure yet, as I just started work and my schedule is shifting around. I'm going to let you know my schedule. (This is a nice way of saying thanks but no thanks)
Me: (knowing that she's at work) "Ok, well let me know and I don't want to keep you so long. So i'll talk to you later. (This is tower. We have lost all contact. No sign of life on radar)

She never let me know her schedule. That's another problem.

Ok, you failed to close a sure thing and took way too long doing it. When a girl tells you she is down for a date and "I'm pretty open to anything," that's your indication to pick a place and set the time. If the time doesn't work she will tell you. If she sounds like she has a busy schedule give her two nights to pick from. Whatever you do don’t leave it open or task her with making the plans.

I know you think it's nice to saturate her with pleasantries ("I'm doing well, thanks for asking") and make sure she's cool with every detail of the date (are you free tomorrow?, how does this restaurant sound?, do you like Italian? ) but girls respect confident guys over timid ones who are afraid everything they say or do might be wrong or offensive.

I see what you are saying.

The rest is just ugly:

Her: "Hey ill be stuck at work all day so I won't be able to make it! Soo sorry but hopefully another day." (Sounds like a nice way of saying hopefully you'll move on)
Me: No worries. We can always aim for next time. Have fun at work!" (you sound like her father again)

I said, "Have fun at work!" because I did not want to come off as angry or frustrated, but you are right. I could have said something better.

Her: Lol ill try! Hope you have a good day!" (she sounds sweet, you should have taken her out)
Me: "Thank you (Unless you're being funny or ironic emoticons are lame. Avoid them. The key to mmahany's advice is use them with jokes. I'd still be careful and prefer to avoid them)



You dug yourself a pretty big hole, but because she seemed so interested at the beginning I would give it one final shot. Wait a day or two and send a simple text. Something like:

"I need help deciding my memorial day plays. Let's grab a bite tomorrow at this cool place I found. What time will you be off work?"

See that? No open questions. No boring pleasantries. If she's not interested she'll ignore you or come up with a lame excuse. Then you'll know it's time to move on. Otherwise she'll tell you what time she gets off work or that she's off. Then tell her the time you'll pick her up. If she asks where you're taking her be vague and tell her not to worry about it. It's okay to be playful or flirtatious. Mystery is good.

You are correct Judge. I messed up at some points. But the conversation where I was asking her out was through the phone and not text. I would send her some texts, but I feel like that is a way for her to run and hide. I did send her a text asking her how she thinks she did on her exams and got no reply. So texting now is a no-go. Unless our next phone conversation goes well, I would not probably want to text her. I want to call, as I see it as a better way to confront her and actually hear the tone of her voice. This way I can find out if she is actually interested. When I do call her, I will present myself as confident/direct/assertive/straight-forward with some small talk first and then ask her out. Picking a time, place, and where to pick her up. Another member insisted on giving her one option (date, place, and time) first and see if she complies, if not recommend another option (date, place, and time). I want my next conversation with her to have no outlets where she could run and get away from the situation; I want clear-cut answers. Anyways...how do you think my next conversation should go? Like I said, I feel like she is interested but doesn't want to contact me because she knows that I am going to insist on lunch and she does not know how to get around the obstacle that she does not drive. But I will tell her that she does not need to worry as I will come pick her up and I want to drive to her. But, I don't know how to tell her that. I feel like her not driving is like a limitation to her. I don't want to make it sound like I will be her chauffeur/personal limo service, so she could take advantage of me (as in become a gold-digger). But I will let her know that she has nothing to worry about because I will drive.

I insisted on lunch because I thought it would be a proper environment to get to know each other without all the tension. After-all, we did speak, we only spoke about school related subjects. I did not want to scare her away or anything with dinner, but you all are the professionals here and know better. Hence, why I am asking. So which is better? Lunch or Dinner? I really want to see how it goes; I am not rushing for a relationship or anything. One problem is I do not want to call her on memorial day weekend because she might just say that she has plans and is going out of town. So I was thinking next weekend. Besides, weekday nights are difficult for me because I get off work late. So, really, I can only do weekends.

[achien]

if she is interested in you, you don't need to play any waiting games. just ask her out.

you don't need to play any mind games, everything comes naturally.

[ibarry92]

Thank you very much for your help everyone, I very much appreciate it.

[BPMSport]

Judge is a boss. That was an enjoyable read.

[Takeshi]

Originally Posted by ibarry92

You are correct Judge. I messed up at some points. But the conversation where I was asking her out was through the phone and not text. I would send her some texts, but I feel like that is a way for her to run and hide. I did send her a text asking her how she thinks she did on her exams and got no reply. So texting now is a no-go. Unless our next phone conversation goes well, I would not probably want to text her. I want to call, as I see it as a better way to confront her and actually hear the tone of her voice. This way I can find out if she is actually interested. When I do call her, I will present myself as confident/direct/assertive/straight-forward with some small talk first and then ask her out. Picking a time, place, and where to pick her up. Another member insisted on giving her one option (date, place, and time) first and see if she complies, if not recommend another option (date, place, and time). I want my next conversation with her to have no outlets where she could run and get away from the situation; I want clear-cut answers. Anyways...how do you think my next conversation should go? Like I said, I feel like she is interested but doesn't want to contact me because she knows that I am going to insist on lunch and she does not know how to get around the obstacle that she does not drive. But I will tell her that she does not need to worry as I will come pick her up and I want to drive to her. But, I don't know how to tell her that. I feel like her not driving is like a limitation to her. I don't want to make it sound like I will be her chauffeur/personal limo service, so she could take advantage of me (as in become a gold-digger). But I will let her know that she has nothing to worry about because I will drive.

I insisted on lunch because I thought it would be a proper environment to get to know each other without all the tension. After-all, we did speak, we only spoke about school related subjects. I did not want to scare her away or anything with dinner, but you all are the professionals here and know better. Hence, why I am asking. So which is better? Lunch or Dinner? I really want to see how it goes; I am not rushing for a relationship or anything. One problem is I do not want to call her on memorial day weekend because she might just say that she has plans and is going out of town. So I was thinking next weekend. Besides, weekday nights are difficult for me because I get off work late. So, really, I can only do weekends.

LOL Judge is the man. Dont call her. Just do exactly as Judge says and send that text. He knows his shit.

She's probably a lost cause and won't reply to your text. But you might get lucky if you don't call her and put her on the spot. Girls don't give "clear-cut answers" man.

Also, try to pick something besides pizza. Doesn't need to be expensive but something better than fast food. And offer to drive her.

If you're really worried about her being a gold digger, just wait and see if she reaches for her purse when the bill comes around. But don't let her pay for it.

[Brunotheboxer]

Stalk the fuck out of her night and day. Chicks dig it.

[954Stealth]

Originally Posted by Brunotheboxer

Stalk the fuck out of her night and day. Chicks dig it.

Truth. The only way she'll know you are serious is if you hang out in bushes outside her house with a ski mask on.

[keepittrill]

I can confirm that those gentlemen are correct. Best way to show a girl you care is to follow her 24/7.

[ibarry92]

Originally Posted by Takeshi

LOL Judge is the man. Dont call her. Just do exactly as Judge says and send that text. He knows his shit.

She's probably a lost cause and won't reply to your text. But you might get lucky if you don't call her and put her on the spot. Girls don't give "clear-cut answers" man.

Also, try to pick something besides pizza. Doesn't need to be expensive but something better than fast food. And offer to drive her.

If you're really worried about her being a gold digger, just wait and see if she reaches for her purse when the bill comes around. But don't let her pay for it.

What do you mean by "clear-cut answers?"

After that long text conversation we had, I called her up about two days later. Again, as always, she seemed really interested to talk to me. I asked her if she saw her final grade from the history class that we took together, where I met her, and she said, "yes." She asked me what I got and I told her I had received an A in the class as well as all my other classes. She had also gotten straight A's. Then she insisted that we should "celebrate." Then, that was when I insisted that we should meet up together for lunch. She told me that she might be off early on Memorial Day, and that she would let me know. I also told her, "I remember you asking me where I lived and that it was far. It does not matter where I live. I am willing to drive the distance to come and pick you up. Do not worry about it." I could hear her blushingly say, "Ok, thanks" (Her inner-monologue was saying, "Aww, thats sweet of him.") Fast-forward Memorial day she texted me and it went as:

Her: "Hey *******, i'll be stuck at work till 8. I know it's kinda late, but hopefully we can hang out another day."

Me: It's cool. Just let me know the next time your free. We should do dinner sometime since your off in the evenings.

Her: Bet bett ! (Meaning: sure, done deal. Would love to; lets do that.)

This is the second time she has blown me off. The first time I told her that I wanted to take her out for lunch. She excitedly said, "I would like that." The second I spoke to her on the phone, she insisted that we "celebrate since we both received straight A's. That was when I proposed lunch again, but she was busy at work. Like I said, I do believe her because she did tell me that way before the semester was over that she was going to be working during the summer. Also (I do not really like doing this when meeting new people because I feel like a stalker and I involuntarily end up prejudging them but...) I browsed her twitter page (I am not following her), and she posted "Ugh...no days off of work." So I guess she really is not lying to me.

At this point, I have no idea what to do. I do not want to initiate another lunch/dinner, which will most likely make me come off as pushy and desperate. It has been a week since we last talked by the way. I do not want to let her go, as I feel like there is something special about her. Help.