[Scorpion]

Originally Posted by BigDog

youtkiddin... i would say you are not being too strict...


my mom and dad were very strict with me growing up.... there were rules and they had to be followed else consequences.... and i got disciplined ALOT.... being from an indian household.... physical punishment is the norm.... you screw up, you get spanked....


with that being said.... i can't tahnk them enough for raising me the way they did, always giving me the time and attention needed even when i misbehaved.... honestly without them i wouldn't have achieved what i have now, and i'm quite proud to say that not only are they great parents, but my best friends...


don't think you're being too strict at all

Haha tell me about it, desi parents don't joke around. Honestly I agree with what you said. I'm glad that my parents beat me when I was younger, definitely made me more responsible and respectful.

[MontegoGoGoGo]

Originally Posted by Blake

LOL, if mine is demeaning, than so is his. This proves my point exactly.

[Blake]

Originally Posted by MontegoGoGoGo

LOL, if mine is demeaning, than so is his. This proves my point exactly.

[MontegoGoGoGo]

Originally Posted by Blake

OOoooo, that looks like a vagina, lmao.

[MontegoGoGoGo]

Blake, we have to all hook up next time we're down!

[Blake]

Originally Posted by MontegoGoGoGo

Blake, we have to all hook up next time we're down!

kinky.

i was just in st. pete the other day with nikkatropolis

[MontegoGoGoGo]

Do you guys want to do dinner and drinks? We'll PROBABLY be back down at the end of March. How old are you anyway?

Sorry for the thread jack, lol.

[Blake]

Originally Posted by MontegoGoGoGo

Do you guys want to do dinner and drinks? We'll PROBABLY be back down at the end of March. How old are you anyway?

Sorry for the thread jack, lol.

i'm 25, but sean is a baybeh.

[iPodAddict]

Originally Posted by Kiemyster

you know what? im not even joking when i say this. Go buy some weed, when he comes home a night, tell him there's something you have needed to tell him for the longest while and it will only take a few minutes. ask him to sit down with you in the living room or somewhere comfy. pull out a joint, and share a smoke with him. tell him your sorry for fighting him his whole life and all you want really is to be able to be friends, and not strangers.

might just work, i know it has in too many situations ahahaha

Honestly, I would try this or something equivalent such as casual drinking while watching a sporting event AT HOME. Have a few beers with him just you and the boy... then pray you can bond with him the slightest.

[dragon1761]

Originally Posted by youtkiddin

i would like to here from the 15 to 25 age group on this subject. if your dad was strick on you when growing up, and disciplined you for your wrong actions do you now dislike him or still have a good relationship. let me explain whats going on. until the age of 11-12 we were inseperable. great times, then once more freedom to go and do was allowed he began to rebell. mad when giving a time to be home not wanting to try in school . started hanging with others i did not approve of. as he was rebelling i was discipling. more choirs, cell phone taken,no leaving house,no video games . you get the picture. none of these seemed to work, he didnt care. he was getting referral after referral at school. tardy and failing his classes. the real trouble started when he got his 1st girlfriend. we had a rule he was not to go to her house unless there was one of her parents there. well the day we had the blowup he had ask his mother if she would take him to her house and that her mom was there. after dropping him off my wife passes her mom in town and returns to bring him home. half way home he jumps out of car and runs. she cant find him. i go find him and bring him home. once home and we are discussing his actions he goes out the door saying he is going back. he walks 6 miles to her house. every time i get close he runs. fed up with him and his attitude and actions for the last year i decided i could do nothing with him. i called sherrifs dept and they picked him up. now they hand cuffed him and took him to county. no charges were filed and deputy spoke with me and we agreed that scare tactic was best and left him there about 2 hrs. two weeks later he done same thing.but i told him if he left out of sub division i would have him picked up. he left and was picked up again and just brought home. so from time to time when trying to get him to listen he gets angry and wants to fight me. we have now had physical contact probably 3 times. once when telling him to get up and go to school. he has many times said what kind of dad calls the police on his son. i explain to him if he was to follow the rules none of this would even be happening. but he just dont get it. now his mother took him out of school . he was failing so bad and not even trying. she feels a ged is his only hope. i know this is long im sorry. any way dec 6 09 my wife called him home to help take down christmas tree. he kept refusing to come home. finally he comes home irrate. cussing at her and saying its his friends birthday and he will do it next day. she says no i want it done today and he actually starts to jump on her. i was laying down,i work third. by this time im in living room and pull him off her and now he starts swinging at me and we end up on couch. im holding him down and he is acting like a ufc fighter. head butting me and hitting me in the head with his fist. now he is 16 will be 17 in feb. he is 6'0 and strong as hell. i would not tell him this but im worn out after dealing with him. im 43 yrs old and 5'5. any way i let him up and he leaves house and calls 911. tells them his dad just jumped on him. ends up after their visit and investigation of the events they arrest him for simple battery and now we have to go to court. our relationship is non existent. he ignores me when i come home, dont say a word to me, i have to just keep saying hello son how was ur day. the thing is he dont want to acknowledge that he has done anything wrong, wants to do what he wants. has no desire to work or try to get ged. but honestly all i want is for him to listen and for us to get back to having a relationship. well now that i probablly have the record for longest post on e90, you guys that acted like this with your parents, if any of you did. do you resent them for trying to prepare you for the real world. was i wrong for calling the sherrifs dept. i just want my son back.

i support all the action that you have taken. People like your son needs to be taught a lesson, they are what we call a menace to society. I would send him to boot camp or something to get him straighten out. Army is the best place to put his ass in check. Once he's been to Iraq, he will know whats up. I would watch out for your own safety since he has already been booked with battery, i dont think he would be afraid to do that again and maybe take things even further. He's still under 18 even if he beats you till your handicap, he wont go to jail, he'll just be in juvenile hall.

[dragon1761]

Originally Posted by iPodAddict

Honestly, I would try this or something equivalent such as casual drinking while watching a sporting event AT HOME. Have a few beers with him just you and the boy... then pray you can bond with him the slightest.

Ok, he is a minor, he is not even 18, why are you people encouraging alcohol? If he is that rebellious wont you be worried that he would drink and drive??? Some people + alcohol is not a good combination.

[dragon1761]

Originally Posted by MontegoGoGoGo

Fixed

thats just racist. YOu KKK mofo

[samwoo2go]

Originally Posted by MontegoGoGoGo

Fixed

lol if this guy's kid is Asian I think he'll have alot more problem than him not behaving. He gotta look into his wife misbehaving

[Bimmer Nerd]

I am 17 and i see 1 option right now.

Kick his ASS, and i mean like show him that you are in charge and if he lives under your roof he follows your rules. Ground his ass to the ground, like so low that he is licking the dirt, no cell phone, computer, no going out for like 2 weeks, if he has a car, take the keys away. This will make him hate you, but once he comes to his senses about how important those things are he will LOVE to see the day light again.

the reason i am telling you: I got caught for some stupid shit like 2-3 weeks ago, weed, drinking, girls, you name it. I got my ass kicked, grounded and i am still under tight rules. When i got my cell phone taken away it felt like they took my connection from the rest of the world away, like i was out of my mind and when i was allowed to go out for like 3 hours the first time, i was thanking god as i was walking out the door. Every once in a while you gotta get off your high horse and smell the reality again. What's probably making him do all this is his "friends", trust me its where he gets all this ideas from, they do all this shit together ( i know i did), Make him cut all the connections from his friends, make him start all over again.


Good luck and wish you the best !

[335R1]

Pay me, I will drill his ass to the ground. I'm, srunk right now, so don' t mind me. But he needs a good ole fashion joe jackson ass kicking.

[youtkiddin]

i wouldn't think of smoking weed or drinking with him. he has told me he wished i would. i just dont think its morally right. most of his friend live with just their dad. and thats were he wants to be. i think their dad does those things with them.

im just old school, i did as told or lost every priveledge i had. i am also veteran with 8 years in the army. so i want it done my way and now means now.

[samwoo2go]

Originally Posted by youtkiddin

i wouldn't think of smoking weed or drinking with him. he has told me he wished i would. i just dont think its morally right. most of his friend live with just their dad. and thats were he wants to be. i think their dad does those things with them.

im just old school, i did as told or lost every priveledge i had. i am also veteran with 8 years in the army. so i want it done my way and now means now.

you obviously ain't that old shcool if you are not handing down the beat down pops.
"it takes the police 6 minutes to get to our house...and in that 6 minutes...somebody is gonna get real hurt"

on a second thought you already missed the beat down age. you gotta do that before he turns teen man. Thats when you instill the fear of god into him everytime you unbuckle. I can easily fuck my dad up right now, but everytime after dinner, he unbuckles his belt to let loose I still get this chilling sensation down my spine...thats mother fucking fear.
Why don't you ship him out to boarding school?

Look man, maybe you are worrying too much. I mean all teens rebel, I know I did. Whats important is does he turn around at 18? he could turn back around to be a normal dude again at 18 or he could continue to be an asshole and become a criminal. Sometimes, just giving him some space and letting go some control helps alot. look at it this way, you already lost the "military dad" battle, forget it that ship has already sailed. So time to switch up the batter and get in the friend zone. Or you can always just tuck in and ride it out and see. No kids will hate their parents past puberty unless they were being fucked up to be fucked up and not love. So relax you'll be alright

[vgame64]

Truly screwed up kid. I doubt physical abuse will work on him but it will make you feel better. (just kidding)

I would take away his cell phone, dress him up as a crip, and drop him off in blood territory for a night. If he survives, he will be grateful for what he has at home. ok...jk again

Just isolate him at home and get to know him...find the root cause of his anger and fix it.

[DarqueFun]

Can't understand >_< sorry, but I'd probably go with what ^they said.

[zetaxi165]

I am sorry to say this but your son has crossed the line.

No way do you hit your mom. NO effing way.

I believe you need to sit down with him and just let him talk. Ask him honestly to tell him what his problem with you is. LISTEN to him. DO NOT interrupt him.

Then you need to tell him that you love him and care for him and want the best for him and tell him your point of view. Again do not impose anything on him.

You two need to work out a compromise. Tell him he can do some things but not all.

If this doesn't work out. Cut him lose.

You are not legally obligated to buy him a cell phone, car etc. Until he is 18 you need to only feed, clothe and shelter him.

My big problem with this, is that he has laid his hands on your wife. That is just wrong.

If he still continues being a rotten apple, then there is nothing you can do but cut him loose and tell him that you hope he will be successful in life but you cannot live with him being such a horrible person.

Hopefully, he learns how tough life is out there. Maybe 5, 10 years down the road he realises he was wrong and has messed up everything.

[Kiemyster]

Originally Posted by zetaxi165

I am sorry to say this but your son has crossed the line.

No way do you hit your mom. NO effing way.

I believe you need to sit down with him and just let him talk. Ask him honestly to tell him what his problem with you is. LISTEN to him. DO NOT interrupt him.

Then you need to tell him that you love him and care for him and want the best for him and tell him your point of view. Again do not impose anything on him.

You two need to work out a compromise. Tell him he can do some things but not all.

If this doesn't work out. Cut him lose.

You are not legally obligated to buy him a cell phone, car etc. Until he is 18 you need to only feed, clothe and shelter him.

My big problem with this, is that he has laid his hands on your wife. That is just wrong.

If he still continues being a rotten apple, then there is nothing you can do but cut him loose and tell him that you hope he will be successful in life but you cannot live with him being such a horrible person.

Hopefully, he learns how tough life is out there. Maybe 5, 10 years down the road he realises he was wrong and has messed up everything.

this

[jopa489]

That's a lot to deal with man. While what he's doing it by no means acceptable, I think it's a phase that just needs to pass. Easier said than done, but he will grow out of it. Every kid is different when that age.

I don't think physical discipline is going to help much at this point, but you can't allow him to assault your wife. That's the big thing here, and is way over the line. I'm by no means an expert, but I think you need professional advice/assistance here before it gets any worse.