What's that? You wanna chit chat? Welcome to the whore thread!

Mr.SugarSkulls · 08-02-2016, 03:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoosh

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I'm not sure why I'm about to tell you mofos this, but I should probably tell someone in case I die in an arson tonight...

So, I booked this place on Airbnb for two months while I'm out here in San Diego. I'm living with the individual who's currently leasing the apartment, a 25 year old female. Quiet, introverted, tree-hugging chick. Kind of unusual and a different kind of character...

Let me just get right into it...

Long day at work today, get out at 10pm, stop at In-N-Out and make my way home. Arrive home at 10:35pm. Open the door, all lights in the apartment are off. Not a single light on. No sign of roommate anywhere. Began to walk towards the kitchen and I spot some kind of pile of things on the floor towards the entrance of the bedrooms. I keep walking towards the kitchen...and I notice it's her lying on the ground, her phone to her left side. I go and place my In-N-Out on the kitchen table and walk back towards her. I say her name out loud three times...chick is passed the fuck out on the middle of the floor. One more time, loudly, and she springs up off the ground and says, "there's been a breach." What the fuck, I'm thinking? "Breach of the perimeters." Umm, what does that even mean? I'm like, "Are you ok, (name)?" And she's like, "Oh, I'm fine (giggling), but there's been a breach of the perimeters." Then, she hops up off the floor completely, turns around, and runs straight into her closed bedroom door behind her. WHAT. THE. FUCK. I kid you not, straight head on, right into the door! She stumbles a bit, gets in her room, and everything goes quiet...

I standing there partially in shock partially wondering what the fuck she smoked. I say, again, "are you ok, (name)?" No response. Two more times. "Hey, are you OK, (name)?" Nothing. Then I hear her hop up off her bed, and lock the bedroom door...umm ok. So I walk away at this point. Go into the kitchen, and start eating my food...

At some point, I hear her get out of her bedroom, do something then go back in her bedroom. I'm like, fuck, this isn't the way I pictured I'd die...so I get up and go look to see what the fuck she was doing, and where she was at. As I get up, again, I hear the bedroom door locking...

It's been about 30 minutes since this happened, I'm lying in bed, praying to the lord I live to see another day (if she tries to enter my room, I can handle that...ill beat the living shit out of her. But if she sets the place on fire...I'm fucked). I'm just gonna shoot her a quick text like, "If you need to talk or need anything else, please call or text me, or even bang on my door a few times and I'll answer."

Welp, it was nice knowing all of you.

Flakka is a mother fucker.

Not to scare you- but-

https://www.facebook.com/26487114704...0119711191192/

swagon · 08-02-2016, 04:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoosh

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I'm not sure why I'm about to tell you mofos this, but I should probably tell someone in case I die in an arson tonight...

So, I booked this place on Airbnb for two months while I'm out here in San Diego. I'm living with the individual who's currently leasing the apartment, a 25 year old female. Quiet, introverted, tree-hugging chick. Kind of unusual and a different kind of character...

Let me just get right into it...

Long day at work today, get out at 10pm, stop at In-N-Out and make my way home. Arrive home at 10:35pm. Open the door, all lights in the apartment are off. Not a single light on. No sign of roommate anywhere. Began to walk towards the kitchen and I spot some kind of pile of things on the floor towards the entrance of the bedrooms. I keep walking towards the kitchen...and I notice it's her lying on the ground, her phone to her left side. I go and place my In-N-Out on the kitchen table and walk back towards her. I say her name out loud three times...chick is passed the fuck out on the middle of the floor. One more time, loudly, and she springs up off the ground and says, "there's been a breach." What the fuck, I'm thinking? "Breach of the perimeters." Umm, what does that even mean? I'm like, "Are you ok, (name)?" And she's like, "Oh, I'm fine (giggling), but there's been a breach of the perimeters." Then, she hops up off the floor completely, turns around, and runs straight into her closed bedroom door behind her. WHAT. THE. FUCK. I kid you not, straight head on, right into the door! She stumbles a bit, gets in her room, and everything goes quiet...

I standing there partially in shock partially wondering what the fuck she smoked. I say, again, "are you ok, (name)?" No response. Two more times. "Hey, are you OK, (name)?" Nothing. Then I hear her hop up off her bed, and lock the bedroom door...umm ok. So I walk away at this point. Go into the kitchen, and start eating my food...

At some point, I hear her get out of her bedroom, do something then go back in her bedroom. I'm like, fuck, this isn't the way I pictured I'd die...so I get up and go look to see what the fuck she was doing, and where she was at. As I get up, again, I hear the bedroom door locking...

It's been about 30 minutes since this happened, I'm lying in bed, praying to the lord I live to see another day (if she tries to enter my room, I can handle that...ill beat the living shit out of her. But if she sets the place on fire...I'm fucked). I'm just gonna shoot her a quick text like, "If you need to talk or need anything else, please call or text me, or even bang on my door a few times and I'll answer."

Welp, it was nice knowing all of you.

smoosh when the girl enters his bedroom

don't stick your dick in crazy, man

Mike. · 08-02-2016, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoosh

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I'm not sure why I'm about to tell you mofos this, but I should probably tell someone in case I die in an arson tonight...

So, I booked this place on Airbnb for two months while I'm out here in San Diego. I'm living with the individual who's currently leasing the apartment, a 25 year old female. Quiet, introverted, tree-hugging chick. Kind of unusual and a different kind of character...

Let me just get right into it...

Long day at work today, get out at 10pm, stop at In-N-Out and make my way home. Arrive home at 10:35pm. Open the door, all lights in the apartment are off. Not a single light on. No sign of roommate anywhere. Began to walk towards the kitchen and I spot some kind of pile of things on the floor towards the entrance of the bedrooms. I keep walking towards the kitchen...and I notice it's her lying on the ground, her phone to her left side. I go and place my In-N-Out on the kitchen table and walk back towards her. I say her name out loud three times...chick is passed the fuck out on the middle of the floor. One more time, loudly, and she springs up off the ground and says, "there's been a breach." What the fuck, I'm thinking? "Breach of the perimeters." Umm, what does that even mean? I'm like, "Are you ok, (name)?" And she's like, "Oh, I'm fine (giggling), but there's been a breach of the perimeters." Then, she hops up off the floor completely, turns around, and runs straight into her closed bedroom door behind her. WHAT. THE. FUCK. I kid you not, straight head on, right into the door! She stumbles a bit, gets in her room, and everything goes quiet...

I standing there partially in shock partially wondering what the fuck she smoked. I say, again, "are you ok, (name)?" No response. Two more times. "Hey, are you OK, (name)?" Nothing. Then I hear her hop up off her bed, and lock the bedroom door...umm ok. So I walk away at this point. Go into the kitchen, and start eating my food...

At some point, I hear her get out of her bedroom, do something then go back in her bedroom. I'm like, fuck, this isn't the way I pictured I'd die...so I get up and go look to see what the fuck she was doing, and where she was at. As I get up, again, I hear the bedroom door locking...

It's been about 30 minutes since this happened, I'm lying in bed, praying to the lord I live to see another day (if she tries to enter my room, I can handle that...ill beat the living shit out of her. But if she sets the place on fire...I'm fucked). I'm just gonna shoot her a quick text like, "If you need to talk or need anything else, please call or text me, or even bang on my door a few times and I'll answer."

Welp, it was nice knowing all of you.

hahahahhaah

jtodd_fl · 08-02-2016, 07:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swagon

don't stick your dick in crazy, man

To be fair, that's smoosh 's reaction whenever any girl enters his room.

ASBSECU E93 · 08-02-2016, 07:54 AM

I leave your guys alone for a couple days and this is what happens....

RJ_ · 08-02-2016, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.SugarSkulls

Flakka is a mother fucker.

Not to scare you- but-

https://www.facebook.com/26487114704...0119711191192/

Holy shit. She might try to eat his face off in his sleep.

1LRM3 · 08-02-2016, 08:05 AM

WTF7!!! I'd be In-N-Out of that crib. Long gone.

MKSixer · 08-02-2016, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoosh

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I'm not sure why I'm about to tell you mofos this, but I should probably tell someone in case I die in an arson tonight...

So, I booked this place on Airbnb for two months while I'm out here in San Diego. I'm living with the individual who's currently leasing the apartment, a 25 year old female. Quiet, introverted, tree-hugging chick. Kind of unusual and a different kind of character...

Let me just get right into it...

Long day at work today, get out at 10pm, stop at In-N-Out and make my way home. Arrive home at 10:35pm. Open the door, all lights in the apartment are off. Not a single light on. No sign of roommate anywhere. Began to walk towards the kitchen and I spot some kind of pile of things on the floor towards the entrance of the bedrooms. I keep walking towards the kitchen...and I notice it's her lying on the ground, her phone to her left side. I go and place my In-N-Out on the kitchen table and walk back towards her. I say her name out loud three times...chick is passed the fuck out on the middle of the floor. One more time, loudly, and she springs up off the ground and says, "there's been a breach." What the fuck, I'm thinking? "Breach of the perimeters." Umm, what does that even mean? I'm like, "Are you ok, (name)?" And she's like, "Oh, I'm fine (giggling), but there's been a breach of the perimeters." Then, she hops up off the floor completely, turns around, and runs straight into her closed bedroom door behind her. WHAT. THE. FUCK. I kid you not, straight head on, right into the door! She stumbles a bit, gets in her room, and everything goes quiet...

I standing there partially in shock partially wondering what the fuck she smoked. I say, again, "are you ok, (name)?" No response. Two more times. "Hey, are you OK, (name)?" Nothing. Then I hear her hop up off her bed, and lock the bedroom door...umm ok. So I walk away at this point. Go into the kitchen, and start eating my food...

At some point, I hear her get out of her bedroom, do something then go back in her bedroom. I'm like, fuck, this isn't the way I pictured I'd die...so I get up and go look to see what the fuck she was doing, and where she was at. As I get up, again, I hear the bedroom door locking...

It's been about 30 minutes since this happened, I'm lying in bed, praying to the lord I live to see another day (if she tries to enter my room, I can handle that...ill beat the living shit out of her. But if she sets the place on fire...I'm fucked). I'm just gonna shoot her a quick text like, "If you need to talk or need anything else, please call or text me, or even bang on my door a few times and I'll answer."

Welp, it was nice knowing all of you.

I hope you're ok.
Since no one has asked yet, if you're dead can I get your stuff?
Thanks-MK

jtodd_fl · 08-02-2016, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MKSixer

I hope you're ok.
Since no one has asked yet, if you're dead can I get your stuff?
Thanks-MK

He doesn't have anything but debt, a Mustang, and crusty socks. You can have it. If he's dead. Which I hope he is..n't.

MKSixer · 08-02-2016, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

He doesn't have anything but debt, a Mustang, and crusty socks. You can have it. If he's dead. Which I hope he is..n't.

I'll send your half upon receipt.

MKSixer · 08-02-2016, 09:11 AM

Oh wait...we can crash the Mustang!!

Mr Tonka · 08-02-2016, 09:15 AM

R.I.P smoosh

jtodd_fl · 08-02-2016, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Oh wait...we can crash the Mustang!!

OK - this suddenly got more interesting...

True story, I saw a set of wildly careening skid marks on the road that started in one lane and shot across another lane before swerving back into the original lane... sort of a classic over-correct S-shape and the first thought to pop into my head was ... "Mustangs!"

MKSixer · 08-02-2016, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

OK - this suddenly got more interesting...

True story, I saw a set of wildly careening skid marks on the road that started in one lane and shot across another lane before swerving back into the original lane... sort of a classic over-correct S-shape and the first thought to pop into my head was ... "Mustangs!"

Exactly.

We have a chance to make something happen here. I have helmets and balaclava's. Can anyone see if smoosh is dead?

shoei can help here if he isn't incarcerated any longer.

silvergray545 · 08-02-2016, 10:18 AM

Am I the only one that wants smoosh to smash the crazy girl? Could make for some good OT stories. Just saying.

MKSixer · 08-02-2016, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by silvergray545

Am I the only one that wants smoosh to smash the crazy girl? Could make for some good OT stories. Just saying.

Definitely. He should, if still alive. Has anyone checked the news out there yet?

Aatish · 08-02-2016, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by silvergray545

Am I the only one that wants smoosh to smash the crazy girl? Could make for some good OT stories. Just saying.

It's completely possible that it already happened...

MKSixer · 08-02-2016, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aatish

It's completely possible that it already happened...

Which is why she was playing corpse when he walked in...

silvergray545 · 08-02-2016, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Definitely. He should, if still alive. Has anyone checked the news out there yet?

smoosh don't die before you smash crazy!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aatish

It's completely possible that it already happened...

"there's been a breach of the perimeters"

Aatish · 08-02-2016, 10:27 AM

Maybe it's some weird Navy fetish. They like to breach and clear each other.

1MOREMOD · 08-02-2016, 10:28 AM

Yelling incoming jump on top and penetrate

MKSixer · 08-02-2016, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aatish

Maybe it's some weird Navy fetish. They like to breach and clear each other.

Yes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

Yelling incoming jump on top and penetrate

A simple and easily executable plan.

08-02-2016, 08:05 AM	#36483
1LRM3 Captain 534 Rep 788 Posts Drives: LRP M3 E92, MR M3 E93 Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: CT<-->SC iTrader: (8) Garage List 2013 BMW M3 [8.00]	WTF7!!! I'd be In-N-Out of that crib. Long gone. __________________ ENDLESS DETAILS, CT EPIC MOTORSPORTS, FL *Custom Auto Designs Protection Films, CT* *F.T.B.R. Garage, CT*
	Appreciate 1 jtodd_fl6709.00

08-02-2016, 09:11 AM	#36487
MKSixer Lieutenant General 34164 Rep 11,637 Posts Drives: 2015 BMW i8, E63 M6, 328d Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: Southeast United States iTrader: (0) Garage List 2016 M4 GTS (Allotted) [0.00] 2013 BMW 328d [0.00] 2007 BMW M6 [10.00] 2015 BMW i8 [10.00]	Oh wait...we can crash the Mustang!! __________________ Several actors have played James Bond, Sean Connery IS James Bond... Sir 7ewis, 7X FIA Formula One World Championship, World Driving Champion. 100 Wins. 101 Pole Positions. 54 Fastest Laps. Actual Rain Master. Leave me to it, Bono. One Race Win in each of his 15 years in F1. Most Laps Led in Formula One. The Centurion.
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08-02-2016, 09:15 AM	#36488
Mr Tonka is probably out riding. 6062 Rep 2,292 Posts Drives: Something Italian Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Sweatypeninsula iTrader: (0)	R.I.P smoosh __________________ "There is no greater tyranny than that which is perpetrated under the shield of the law and in the name of justice. -Charles de Secondat"
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08-02-2016, 10:18 AM	#36491
silvergray545 Skittles, OT OG 2350 Rep 649 Posts Drives: Lots of M cars Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cleveland, OH iTrader: (1) Garage List 2016 BMW M3 ZCP [0.00] 2000 BMW M Roadster [0.00] 2004 BMW M3 [0.00] 2014 VW GLI [0.00]	Am I the only one that wants smoosh to smash the crazy girl? Could make for some good OT stories. Just saying.
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08-02-2016, 10:27 AM	#36496
Aatish Lofty 3477 Rep 849 Posts Drives: i4 M50, 991.2 C2, RRS Diesel Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: ORD <> ATX iTrader: (0)	Maybe it's some weird Navy fetish. They like to breach and clear each other. __________________ F30 335 (FBO and BM3 OG) 991.2 C2 Range Rover Sport Diesel I4 M50 (coming soon)
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08-02-2016, 10:28 AM	#36497
1MOREMOD - 11822 Rep 23,186 Posts Drives: Race car-> Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: check your mirrors iTrader: (5)	Yelling incoming jump on top and penetrate
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