The Longest Thread Ever...

ChaneRZ · 02-26-2008, 05:17 AM

whoa!

scottwww · 03-05-2008, 06:33 PM

A cowboy named Bob was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?'
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, Why not?'

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-Tech Miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.'

'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your b usiness is, will you give me back my calf?'

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?'

'You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government', says Bud.

'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?'

'No guessing required.' answered the cowboy. 'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew,to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. . . .

Now give me back my dog.

arabbmw · 03-05-2008, 07:27 PM

flyer333 · 03-06-2008, 01:49 AM

this thread rules!!! almost as good as the girl one

khoda355 · 03-06-2008, 01:50 AM

im sick.... blows

scottwww · 03-10-2008, 04:48 PM

Daughter : My friends and I want to go out tonight.

Mother : Where are ya'll going ?

Daughter: To the cowboy bar on the edge of town.

Mother : I'm don't think you should. There's been a lot of trouble at that place. I heard there was a fight there last weekend, and several people got hurt.

Daughter : But mom!! Please!! It'll be okay.

Mother: No!! Your life is more important than going out!

Daughter : But 'Tina' is going with us...

Mother: Oh Well! In that case, it should be okay.. Ya'll have fun!

scottwww · 03-11-2008, 07:33 PM

Food as art

scottwww · 03-11-2008, 07:40 PM

Live for work. Die at work.

scottwww · 09-04-2008, 12:34 PM

ESTATE PLANNING

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card. Three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men.

OO---OO · 09-04-2008, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nikki

Kind of pointless if the posts don't count. I love when other forums have them and then one of the mods deletes it and everyone loses like 1,000 posts hahaha

I think its even funnier of those losers who actually care about post counts,
like they are cool points or something!

**Im sure i just offended 3/4 of this board but youll live.

MadDog · 09-04-2008, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottwww

Live for work. Die at work.

Urban legend. Not true.

scottwww · 09-04-2008, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadDog

Urban legend. Not true.

Oh well. Do you have any good urban legends, or better yet, true stories?

aut0sh0cker · 09-04-2008, 01:23 PM

Hey Scott, my name is also Scott!

-Scott

scottwww · 09-04-2008, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aut0sh0cker

Hey Scott, my name is also Scott!

-Scott

Neurorad · 09-04-2008, 01:55 PM

Name: great_scott_400.jpg
Views: 411
Size: 116.6 KB

scottwww · 09-04-2008, 02:00 PM

April Scott

jeveryday · 09-04-2008, 02:06 PM

FTW...

Year's_End · 11-11-2008, 03:44 PM

hey scottwww...

do you buy chance use the search tool "stumbleupon"? sounds like it's the kinda thing you would like. it finds stuff like this for you.

Sara · 11-11-2008, 03:47 PM

hi boys

E90ice · 11-11-2008, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottwww

April Scott

Fuck me sideways! HOT!!!!

Sara · 11-11-2008, 03:49 PM

I want big boobs now

scottwww · 11-11-2008, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bimmer Loyalist

hey scottwww...

do you buy chance use the search tool "stumbleupon"? sounds like it's the kinda thing you would like. it finds stuff like this for you.

I hadn't heard of that website before. I'm looking at it now. Thanks for hte tip!

02-26-2008, 05:17 AM	#243
ChaneRZ If You Aint First, You're last !!! 100 Rep 2,508 Posts Drives: 08 BMW 335i, 01 Honda Prelude Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: California iTrader: (0)	whoa! __________________ 08 BMW BSM 335i 6MT (Sports, Premium, NAV, PDC, AS, IPOD, HD Radio, Rear Sunshade, OEM Alarm) Angel iBright V3, Luminics Fog Bulb, Turbo Tuner, K&N Drop in Filter, Dinan Exhaust, Dinan Pedals, Vorsteiner CF Front Lip, and CF Rear Diffuser. Ordered:08/25/07 Started: 09/09/07 Finished: 09/14/07 On Ship: 09/15/07 Arrived: 10/08/07 Delivered: 10/10/07
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03-05-2008, 06:33 PM	#244
scottwww Brigadier General 555 Rep 4,760 Posts Drives: 07 BMW 335i, 15 Infiniti Q60S Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: USA iTrader: (0)	A cowboy named Bob was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?' Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, Why not?' The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-Tech Miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.' 'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then Bud says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your b usiness is, will you give me back my calf?' The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?' 'You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government', says Bud. 'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?' 'No guessing required.' answered the cowboy. 'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew,to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. . . . Now give me back my dog.
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03-05-2008, 07:27 PM	#245
arabbmw Lieutenant 17 Rep 548 Posts Drives: 335i coupe Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: G hills iTrader: (2)
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03-06-2008, 01:49 AM	#246
flyer333 GSS CORP. 81 Rep 1,598 Posts Drives: E90/E93 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada iTrader: (3)	this thread rules!!! almost as good as the girl one
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03-06-2008, 01:50 AM	#247
khoda355 Captain 29 Rep 862 Posts Drives: EG hatch/ E90 Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Bay iTrader: (2)	im sick.... blows
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03-10-2008, 04:48 PM	#248
scottwww Brigadier General 555 Rep 4,760 Posts Drives: 07 BMW 335i, 15 Infiniti Q60S Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: USA iTrader: (0)	Night Out - Texas Style Daughter : My friends and I want to go out tonight. Mother : Where are ya'll going ? Daughter: To the cowboy bar on the edge of town. Mother : I'm don't think you should. There's been a lot of trouble at that place. I heard there was a fight there last weekend, and several people got hurt. Daughter : But mom!! Please!! It'll be okay. Mother: No!! Your life is more important than going out! Daughter : But 'Tina' is going with us... Mother: Oh Well! In that case, it should be okay.. Ya'll have fun! Attached Images __________________ 2007 BMW 335i E92, Montego Blue on Cream Beige, MT, ZSP, ZPP, CA, PDC, CWP and Style 188 for winter
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03-11-2008, 07:33 PM	#249
scottwww Brigadier General 555 Rep 4,760 Posts Drives: 07 BMW 335i, 15 Infiniti Q60S Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: USA iTrader: (0)	Food as art Attached Images __________________ 2007 BMW 335i E92, Montego Blue on Cream Beige, MT, ZSP, ZPP, CA, PDC, CWP and Style 188 for winter
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03-11-2008, 07:40 PM	#250
scottwww Brigadier General 555 Rep 4,760 Posts Drives: 07 BMW 335i, 15 Infiniti Q60S Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: USA iTrader: (0)	Unappreciated at work Live for work. Die at work. Attached Images __________________ 2007 BMW 335i E92, Montego Blue on Cream Beige, MT, ZSP, ZPP, CA, PDC, CWP and Style 188 for winter
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09-04-2008, 12:34 PM	#251
scottwww Brigadier General 555 Rep 4,760 Posts Drives: 07 BMW 335i, 15 Infiniti Q60S Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: USA iTrader: (0)	Estate Planning ESTATE PLANNING Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars." Impressed, the woman obtained his business card. Three days later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at estate planning than men. __________________ 2007 BMW 335i E92, Montego Blue on Cream Beige, MT, ZSP, ZPP, CA, PDC, CWP and Style 188 for winter Last edited by scottwww; 09-04-2008 at 12:51 PM..
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09-04-2008, 01:23 PM	#255
aut0sh0cker meh 125 Rep 1,752 Posts Drives: E92 335i, 997.2 C4S Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: 91362 iTrader: (2)	Hey Scott, my name is also Scott! -Scott
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09-04-2008, 01:55 PM	#257
Neurorad Major 89 Rep 1,224 Posts Drives: 2017 340xi Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Location, Location iTrader: (0)
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09-04-2008, 02:00 PM	#258
scottwww Brigadier General 555 Rep 4,760 Posts Drives: 07 BMW 335i, 15 Infiniti Q60S Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: USA iTrader: (0)	April Scott
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09-04-2008, 02:06 PM	#259
jeveryday Colonel 82 Rep 2,335 Posts Drives: 2012 535i xDrive Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Long Island, New York iTrader: (6)	FTW...
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11-11-2008, 03:44 PM	#260
Year's_End Lieutenant General 1250 Rep 12,446 Posts Drives: 2020 Shelby GT350 Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: FL iTrader: (0)	hey scottwww... do you buy chance use the search tool "stumbleupon"? sounds like it's the kinda thing you would like. it finds stuff like this for you. __________________ Past: '08 E92 335i\|ZPP\|ZSP\|6AT Past: '15 Mustang GT\|401A\|PP\|6MT Current: '20 Shelby GT350\|6MT
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11-11-2008, 03:47 PM	#261
Sara Lieutenant General 5906 Rep 17,879 Posts Drives: A car Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Nola iTrader: (6)	hi boys
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11-11-2008, 03:49 PM	#263
Sara Lieutenant General 5906 Rep 17,879 Posts Drives: A car Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Nola iTrader: (6)	I want big boobs now
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