| 01-03-2007, 04:35 PM | #1 |
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Major General
 
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Drives: 2009 E90 335i MT
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Vinton, Virginia
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Hilary's Driver
Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one
evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't - the aged bovine was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists. About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a rare, huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick. "What happened to you?" asked Hillary. "Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made mad passionate love to me." "My Goodness, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary. The driver replied: "I just stepped inside the door and said, 'I'm Hillary Clinton's driver, and I've just killed the old cow,' and the rest happened before I could tell them any more!"
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2009 E90 335i Montego Blue · Black Leather · Burl Walnut · 6MT · US Spec
SatNav ZPP ZCW 6FL TPMS iDrive PDC HWS Xenons BMW Assist Power Rear Sunshade Logic 7 European Taillights Rear Foglamp OEM Alarm PicoTray DataToys XM-DVR Multi-view Processor Quaife ATB LSD Short Shift Knob Hartge Anti-Roll Bars AP Racing Front Brakes 19" Style 269 |
| 01-03-2007, 05:03 PM | #2 | |
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THE Viv
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Drives: 330i SE
Join Date: May 2005
Location: the North, UK
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Quote:
 Viv
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[TiAg ▪ Dakota Black ▪ Active steering ▪ Sports suspension ▪ 162s ▪ Sports seats ▪ Al trim ▪ Bi-Xenons ▪ F&R PDC ▪ NavPro ▪ Voice control ▪ Bluetooth ▪ 6CD Logic7]
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| 01-12-2007, 12:24 AM | #5 |
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Captain
 
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Introducing the next President of the United States of America...
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BMW : Sine qua non
Mods: Blacklines | Rear Seat Power Outlets | Rear Fog Lights | Ashtray Garage Door Opener |
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| 01-12-2007, 08:51 AM | #6 |
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Crazy red bimmer
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Drives: 320d e90 japanrot
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: earth
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 lol
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| 02-20-2007, 12:38 AM | #9 |
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boku no namae ha...
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Drives: 2006 BS 330i
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: S. Bay Area, CA + Newark, NJ + ChiCity + True Blue
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fun times.
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looking for a PreLCI Black Sapphire e90 front bumper without license plate holes
"Akimbo shotguns. Broken wrists anyone? And don't give me that 'it's just a game' bull****. Where the **** are my akimbo interventions then?! One scope on each eye mother****er!!" |
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| 02-20-2007, 02:36 AM | #12 |
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Colonel
 
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nice!
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| 02-24-2007, 06:53 PM | #15 | |
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Major
 
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Drives: 330i
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
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Quote:
Hillary Clinton called Bill into her office one day and said, 'Bill, I have a great idea! I know how we can win back Middle America and secure my presidential victory in 2008'. "Great, but how do you propose we go about that," asked Bill. Well, Hillary responded, "we'll go down to a local Wal-Mart, get some cheesy clothes and shoes like most Middle Americans wear and then we'll stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador. When we look the part we'll go to a nice old country bar in Middle America, and we'll show them that we really enjoy the countryside and show admiration and respect for the hard working people living there". A few days later, all decked out and with the requisite Labrador at heel, they set off from New York in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for. With dog in tow they walk into the bar. They stepped up to the bar, the bartender took a step back and said, arent you Bill and Hillary Clinton ?" Hillary answered, "Yes we are, and what a lovely town you have here. We were just passing through and Bill suggested that we stop and take in some local color." They then ordered a couple of cocktails from the bartender and proceed to drink them down, all the while chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen. All of a sudden, the bar room door opens and a grizzled old farmer comes in. He walked up to the Labrador, lifted its tail and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out the door. A few moments later, in came another old farmer. He walked up to the dog, lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and then left the bar. Over the course of the next hour or so, another four or five farmers came in, lifted the dog's tail, and went away looking puzzled. Eventually Hillary and Bill could stand it no longer and called the bartender over. ''Tell me," said Hillary, "why did all those old farmers come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it some sort of old custom?" "Good Lord, no! Someone said that there was a Labrador in this bar with two assholes!"
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RAWRrrrr
