[MoreCowbell]

Welcome to Snowy New York City!!! Live from my living room...It's my
first ever attempt at a running diary. I'll be taking you through
tonight's Knicks vs. Raptors game, being played just a couple of miles
away at Madison Square Garden. If I listen close enough, I should be
able to hear the "Fire Isiah" chants from here.



7:25: To set the stage a bit, the 16-38 Knicks lost their last decision,
a nail-biter against the Sub 500 76'ers by 40. Now that I think of it,
the Raptors might be a tall order...I think the Knicks versus a Bus-load
of autistic children would be a Pick'em.

7:31: Isiah is commenting about the team having "No Movement" before the
trade deadline. Hard to say if he is referring to standing pat in
regards to the roster, or the Knicks typical defensive effort. (I also
assume he is not referring to the Bowel Movement the team took against
the Sixers)

7:33: PA in background "Attention: At this performance, the part
normally played by Renaldo Balkman will be played by Milli Vanilli."

7:40: To Start, the Knicks send out Zach Randolph and Ed Curry, two
large black men to do some hard banging down low and a Midget, Nate
Robinson to play around on the perimeter. Is it just me, or do you ever
get the feeling that Isiah think s he's directing a Gang Bang instead of
coaching a basketball game?

7:41: Curry lays one in. 2-0. Let's hope this isn't the highlight.

7:44: Zach Randolph floats one over the rim and scores. The rim didn't
give consent, but that hasn't stopped Randolph before either.

7:45: Chris Bosh looks like he is playing an entirely different game
than the Knicks

7:46: 6 foot 10 Andrea Bargnani is called for a charge against Nate
Robinson. With the difference in height there, it's a damn good thing
Robinson's mouth wasn't open.

7:53: At the first break, the Raptors are up 11-10.

7:56: Great dunk by Renaldo Balkman...whose hair almost got caught in
the net on the way down.

7:58: Curry misses two straight free throws. Well done.

8:03: Upon return from a commercial, we hear Isiah make this quote about
the trade deadline "We only had one serious conversation that I thought
was serious". HUH???(and yes, I typed that correctly)

8:06: The first quarter ends with the Knicks trailing 21-12. That's
right, 12 points. At this point they won't break 50.

8:09: Quentin Richardson gets called for Technical after mouthing
something to the ref. If he's trying to get ejected, I can't blame him.

8:12: Following a dunk that I could practically feel on the Upper East
Side by Chris Bosh, the Raptors jump out to a 13 point lead. The Knicks
are giving up more easy plays than Paris Hilton would give up at a Greek
shipping convention.



8:15: The Knicks haven't scored in the last 7 minutes of play. They are
an astonishing 5 of 23 from the field. Good god.


8:17: Zach Randolph ends the 8 minute drought with a short Jumper that
only the "Hoops Family" seemed to enjoy.

8:21: The Knicks go on an 8-0 run, cutting the Toronto lead to 32-26.
This seems like a good time to mention that I'm about to pop open a sack
of gummy bears.

8:25: Walt Clyde Frazier tells us that he was introduced to a group of
season ticket holders before the game. Those Knick season ticket plans
have about as much value as Enron stock.

8:27: Isiah Thomas is standing arms folded, in front of an ad for
Panasonic, which in tremendous letters says "IDEAS FOR LIFE". I'm not
quite sure that this is what Panasonic had in mind when they bought the
ad.

8:31: Crawford nails a 3 pointer from WAY out. He has 20 of the Knicks'
36. The Knicks attack tonight is about as balanced as Britney Spears.

8:34: Don't you wonder which teammates David Lee hangs out with on the
road? I do. He must be extremely well versed in gang signs and collard
greens by now. By the way, the Knicks have cut it to 4.

8:38: Crawford drains a 3 and cuts the lead to 1. He has 25.

8:40: WOW!!! Zach Randolph hit a half court shot to end the half!!! The
Knicks trail 53-52. A 40 point quarter for the Knicks!!!

8:43: Flipping through the Channels at halftime, I find myself watching
the Borat movie. You know if Azamat was Black, he could be Ed Curry's
body double.

8:54: A Mercury commercial just came on featuring the same chick that's
been on the Mercury commercials for the past couple of years. I nearly
soil myself every time I see her. That said, I still won't buy a
Mercury. And no, this has nothing to do with the game.

8:59: David Lee opens the second half with a bucket giving the Knicks
their first lead since 2-0. He is playing in Curry's spot, who hasn't
returned from a halftime trip to Wendy's yet.

9:01: Crawford still en fuego. Another 3. Knicks down 1.

9:05: Zach Randolph pokes Chris Bosh in the eye sending him to the
floor. And it's yet another uninvited poking for Zach Randolph.

9:08: Knicks open a 5 point lead. Seriously.

9:11: Jamal Crawford is still on fire. He's so hot in fact, that I'd
expect Randolph and Balkman to try and light a Joint off of him at the
next break.

9:15: Game tied at 69. Insert your own joke here.

9:17: See Saw game. Crawford hits a 3 from the corner to put the Knicks
up by 2.

9:21: Zach Randolph has 11 boards...12 if you count the Parole Board.
Knicks by 6 at the end of the 3rd.

9:27: No sign of James Dolan tonight. I hope he is watching at home and
his cable goes out.

9:32: Knicks get called for Delay of Game. I'm not even sure how that
happens in Basketball. Knicks by 6, nine minutes to go.

9:37: Jamal Crawford has 40 and Nate Robinson gets his first deuce of
the game. Knicks by 10. This can't be the night the Raptors were looking
for.

9:44: The Raptors had numbers...too bad most of the Knicks can't count.
Toronto completes a 3 point play and now trail by only 5.

9:47: 4:20 to go. Somebody tell Randolph not to take out the bong.
Raptors cut it to 2.

9:49: Crawford hits another 3. He's unconscious. Knicks by 5 with 3 to
go.

9:50 Eddie Curry hasn't played in the second half and I'm just noticing
now. That's not a great sign for Curry.

9:51: Raptors cut the lead to 3 and have the ball with just 2 minutes to
go. Isiah is sporting the "Village Idiot" grin...an MSG staple these
days.

9:53: Knicks still up by 3 and have no fouls to give but that doesn't
stop David Lee from committing one anyway. Lead is cut to 2. 1 minute to
go.

9:55: Zach Randolph takes one in strong as the shot clock is running out
for the deuce!!! He's played quite well. Really, he has.

9:57: 40 seconds left and the Knicks turn it over...because, you
know...why make it easy???

9:58: Randolph at the line, 17 seconds left. Knicks by 4. He misses
both. Of course.

9:59: Here is the situation: 4 seconds left. Knicks by 2 with the ball.
I expect Isiah to put his worst foul shooters on the floor. Because,
well...he's Isiah.

10:00: Little Nate Robinson is on the line. Can he seal it?

10:01: YES!!!! Webster sinks them both!!! That'll seal it. And I'm out
of here!!! See you in 2 weeks!!!