[zx10guy]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Oh, I don't disagree that they have more starting capital (if they choose to use it wisely), but I don't understand how I'm wrong? All I was stating was that these kids are going to have their parents move in when they are older (which is typical for Asian families as I understand - the kids take care of their parents when old, and vice versa, the parents spend hugely when kids are young trying to give them the best start...which may contribute to their need to move in with their kids when old as they don't have any money left?).

So not sure how I'm wrong? My point is, I'd prefer not to babysit elderly parents for years on end just to have a head start now. I'm doing ok right now (and I love my parents - I just don't think I'd want them living with me 24/7) so I don't begrudge these kids their opportunities. Focus on doing the best you can with what you have...not what others have. Otherwise you are just going to be miserable, cause there's always someone who has more.

Sorry this is incorrect on so many levels.

Speaking as a first gen of Chinese decent, the culture fosters respect towards elders and to help your parents in their old age regardless of whether they have money or not. I remember my mother ingraining in my head that if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be alive both from the standpoint of conceiving me and supporting me.

In my situation, my parents haven't moved in with me yet. But I told my now wife before we got married that I have an obligation to provide a room for my parents to move in if the time comes. She agreed with me and understood why as she said she has a similar viewpoint; she's Polish. It's actually pretty funny that my wife sponsored her mother to come over from Poland and we've provided a room for her in our house to stay in until she gets on her feet.

Another perspective on this is my friend who is first gen from Pakistan. He helped buy the house his parents are living in now BEFORE he bought a place of his own. He got ridiculed by other Americanized/western coworkers for being a momma's boy and dumb for doing what he's doing. This is one of the reasons why he and I got along so well because we both understand this parental "duty" of ours which the typical American doesn't get.

While the culture fosters providing all you can to help your kids to grow up and be successful, I don't agree with the out right spoiling of the kids which are the focus of this thread. There's a balance.

[gtron]

Originally Posted by P1et

Lovely...

chinese kid maybe 18 yro bought my last car with cash. i was happy i sold it and thought good for him, enjoy.

[adobeee]

HAHAH

[Mr Tonka]

An Arab student sends an e-mail to his Dad saying,

Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here. But Dad, I am a
bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari Ferrari 599 GTB
when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.

Your son,
Nasser

The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his Dad:
Nasser's Dad

My dear loving son,
Twenty million US Dollars has just been transferred to your account. Please
stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.

Love, your Dad

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by zx10guy

Sorry this is incorrect on so many levels.

Speaking as a first gen of Chinese decent, the culture fosters respect towards elders and to help your parents in their old age regardless of whether they have money or not. I remember my mother ingraining in my head that if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be alive both from the standpoint of conceiving me and supporting me.

In my situation, my parents haven't moved in with me yet. But I told my now wife before we got married that I have an obligation to provide a room for my parents to move in if the time comes. She agreed with me and understood why as she said she has a similar viewpoint; she's Polish. It's actually pretty funny that my wife sponsored her mother to come over from Poland and we've provided a room for her in our house to stay in until she gets on her feet.

Another perspective on this is my friend who is first gen from Pakistan. He helped buy the house his parents are living in now BEFORE he bought a place of his own. He got ridiculed by other Americanized/western coworkers for being a momma's boy and dumb for doing what he's doing. This is one of the reasons why he and I got along so well because we both understand this parental "duty" of ours which the typical American doesn't get.

While the culture fosters providing all you can to help your kids to grow up and be successful, I don't agree with the out right spoiling of the kids which are the focus of this thread. There's a balance.

With all due respect, I still don't see how I'm wrong? All I've continually stated is that they will most likely have their parents move in with them when older (and that usually, parents seem to spend more on their kids when they are young). And that I'd prefer not to do this, so I don't care about these kids getting a head start.

Its great that its a responsibility and all, and I'd want to take care of my parents too, I just would prefer not to have them live with me. And whether its a responsibility or not, was not my point.

[davis449]

Originally Posted by zx10guy

Sorry this is incorrect on so many levels.

Speaking as a first gen of Chinese decent, the culture fosters respect towards elders and to help your parents in their old age regardless of whether they have money or not. I remember my mother ingraining in my head that if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be alive both from the standpoint of conceiving me and supporting me.

In my situation, my parents haven't moved in with me yet. But I told my now wife before we got married that I have an obligation to provide a room for my parents to move in if the time comes. She agreed with me and understood why as she said she has a similar viewpoint; she's Polish. It's actually pretty funny that my wife sponsored her mother to come over from Poland and we've provided a room for her in our house to stay in until she gets on her feet.

Another perspective on this is my friend who is first gen from Pakistan. He helped buy the house his parents are living in now BEFORE he bought a place of his own. He got ridiculed by other Americanized/western coworkers for being a momma's boy and dumb for doing what he's doing. This is one of the reasons why he and I got along so well because we both understand this parental "duty" of ours which the typical American doesn't get.

While the culture fosters providing all you can to help your kids to grow up and be successful, I don't agree with the out right spoiling of the kids which are the focus of this thread. There's a balance.

This post and your life experience makes me love my parents just that much more. They expected me to stand on my own two feet with what they provided me or be cut off. They worked hard, saved enough to retire on comfortably, and have done everything possible (insurance, wills, modest trust accounts, etc.) to ensure they will never be a burden on me or my sister like their parents were\are to them.

[zx10guy]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

With all due respect, I still don't see how I'm wrong? All I've continually stated is that they will most likely have their parents move in with them when older (and that usually, parents seem to spend more on their kids when they are young). And that I'd prefer not to do this, so I don't care about these kids getting a head start.

Its great that its a responsibility and all, and I'd want to take care of my parents too, I just would prefer not to have them live with me. And whether its a responsibility or not, was not my point.

Where you're wrong is your premise about why there is this parental obligation in Asian cultures. It's not all about the money. It's not about how my parents spent all they had to the point of skirting poverty to give me a load of cash to have a capital head start on life. When I look at what my parents have provided me and the sacrifices they've endured, there are some things which I would say was given to me was a nice want but other things were just meeting up to the minimum need based on the society here. I compare myself to many middle class families growing up and I by far won't measure up even to be average. We could have easily been on public assistance but my parents were too proud to accept government aid. And you'll find many Asian immigrant families in this situation.

[zx10guy]

Originally Posted by davis449

This post and your life experience makes me love my parents just that much more. They expected me to stand on my own two feet with what they provided me or be cut off. They worked hard, saved enough to retire on comfortably, and have done everything possible (insurance, wills, modest trust accounts, etc.) to ensure they will never be a burden on me or my sister like their parents were\are to them.

My parents too. It's not like I was living up the dream with what my parents were providing me as support growing up. My parents also have saved money for retirement. In fact, I'm helping them manage their money.

While I do owe much to my parents with their emphasis on making something out of myself and some financial help, I can say 100% all that I have now has been due to my hard work which no one gave to me nor did I inherit through family riches.

I don't expect any western/fully Americanized individuals to ever understand the taking care of their parents when they're old mentality. Because what you view as a burden is what many of us of Asian background view as the socially/morally right thing to do.

[Taskmaster]

Originally Posted by M3 Pilot

yeah, but is she cute ?

I lol'd!

[MrPrena]

LOL, I remember one of the member who posted it.
I found it.

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

An Arab student sends an e-mail to his Dad saying,

Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here. But Dad, I am a
bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari Ferrari 599 GTB
when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.

Your son,
Nasser

The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his Dad:
Nasser's Dad

My dear loving son,
Twenty million US Dollars has just been transferred to your account. Please
stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.

Love, your Dad

[Vervain]

Originally Posted by leJUNd

My dream was to be a rich kid... I failed because my parents didn't try hard enough.

Hahaha I feel the same way

[kevinbahnz]

Originally Posted by zx10guy

My parents too. It's not like I was living up the dream with what my parents were providing me as support growing up. My parents also have saved money for retirement. In fact, I'm helping them manage their money.

While I do owe much to my parents with their emphasis on making something out of myself and some financial help, I can say 100% all that I have now has been due to my hard work which no one gave to me nor did I inherit through family riches.

I don't expect any western/fully Americanized individuals to ever understand the taking care of their parents when they're old mentality. Because what you view as a burden is what many of us of Asian background view as the socially/morally right thing to do.

My mother is retiring next year, we already have a room ready for her. I have 2 older sisters and a younger brother but she chose to live with me.

[Takeshi]

Originally Posted by zx10guy

Sorry this is incorrect on so many levels.

Speaking as a first gen of Chinese decent, the culture fosters respect towards elders and to help your parents in their old age regardless of whether they have money or not. I remember my mother ingraining in my head that if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be alive both from the standpoint of conceiving me and supporting me.

In my situation, my parents haven't moved in with me yet. But I told my now wife before we got married that I have an obligation to provide a room for my parents to move in if the time comes. She agreed with me and understood why as she said she has a similar viewpoint; she's Polish. It's actually pretty funny that my wife sponsored her mother to come over from Poland and we've provided a room for her in our house to stay in until she gets on her feet.

Another perspective on this is my friend who is first gen from Pakistan. He helped buy the house his parents are living in now BEFORE he bought a place of his own. He got ridiculed by other Americanized/western coworkers for being a momma's boy and dumb for doing what he's doing. This is one of the reasons why he and I got along so well because we both understand this parental "duty" of ours which the typical American doesn't get.

While the culture fosters providing all you can to help your kids to grow up and be successful, I don't agree with the out right spoiling of the kids which are the focus of this thread. There's a balance.

Amen bro.

Traditional north american culture is all about independence. 18 years old and you GTFO. Asians, Pakistanis, Polish, Italians, Greeks, a lot of other cultures are all about family. That doesn't mean that Asians can't be independent or Americans don't love their families, but the priorities are different.

I dont wanna live with my parents right now since they are both perfectly healthy and able to take care of themselves. So I am going to enjoy my independence for now. They have more than enough savings for their retirement but later as their health begins to deteriorate I would want them to move in with me or my brother. They spent a good part of their lives taking care of me. And in the final years of their lives I want to spend my time returning the favor before they leave this world. It's not a burden. I would regret it more if I didn't spend more time with them before they left.

I also had the benefit of living with my grandparents when they lived together in the same house and me and my parents. I want my kids to have the same connection with their grandparents.