BMW i5 and 5-Series Forum

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      10-01-2018, 01:42 PM   #1145
upstatedoc
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Originally Posted by OnerDriver View Post
I'll raise the roof for you to blow, ok buddy? Bar is pretty low around here.

My confession:
Many times I will stick a finger or two up my ass when masturbating to enhance my orgasm experience.

Kyngofpop your turn.
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      10-01-2018, 01:47 PM   #1146
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Not_Judy View Post
I've been cheating on the OT section with work. I'm ashamed and hollow inside.....
Forgiven.

Now post pics of hot female coworkers or BAN.
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Also our E90 330 and 325 will soon have some sort of boost. So there is actually more of a chance to get more hp out of a 330 then a 335 in my opinion
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      10-01-2018, 01:50 PM   #1147
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Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD View Post
Ever pooped in there? That's when things get real
Intentionally?

Never.

Unintentionally?

Once.

Last week.
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      10-01-2018, 01:50 PM   #1148
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Originally Posted by F30lolz View Post
Forgiven.

Now post pics of hot female coworkers or BAN.
I suppose I shall be banned. There isn't a hot female within a mile of this building.
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      10-01-2018, 01:54 PM   #1149
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Originally Posted by OnerDriver View Post
You're not drinking enough.
I feel confident enough in stating that there isn't enough alcohol to cover the ratio of grain of the liquor to the lack of the teeth.
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      10-01-2018, 01:58 PM   #1150
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Originally Posted by lemetier View Post
Intentionally?

Never.

Unintentionally?

Once.

Last week.
Like an illness and just blowout?
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      10-01-2018, 01:59 PM   #1151
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by lemetier View Post
Intentionally?

Never.

Unintentionally?

Once.

Last week.
Like an illness and just blowout?
Z-Pack day 5 + surprise snake.
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      10-01-2018, 02:02 PM   #1152
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Did you waffle stomp it down the drain barefoot
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      10-01-2018, 02:05 PM   #1153
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Originally Posted by lemetier View Post
Z-Pack day 5 + surprise snake.
I too have suffered from such an incident. Felt like a nice clean fart on deck....alas, it was not.
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      10-01-2018, 02:11 PM   #1154
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD View Post
Did you waffle stomp it down the drain barefoot
Which part? The liquid fecal matter or the serpentine reptile?
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      10-01-2018, 02:52 PM   #1155
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I confess, 2,700+ miles later & I still love my Hellcat. Even converted a friend last night after I let her drive it. She loves her Stage 3 Roush a little less now & finally understands her car stands no chance in a race after all the shit she talked. She is Hellcat shopping today. Sent me an ad for a local B5 Blue asking if I like the color.
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      10-01-2018, 02:56 PM   #1156
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Originally Posted by lemetier View Post
Which part? The liquid fecal matter or the serpentine reptile?
Both or did you try and pick up the snake
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      10-01-2018, 03:01 PM   #1157
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First there are snake on a plane

and now there are snake in a drain????
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      10-01-2018, 03:04 PM   #1158
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Mine there was no snake more like a cow pie. Talk about stink
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      10-01-2018, 03:09 PM   #1159
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Quote:
Originally Posted by upstatedoc View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnerDriver View Post
I'll raise the roof for you to blow, ok buddy? Bar is pretty low around here.

My confession:
Many times I will stick a finger or two up my ass when masturbating to enhance my orgasm experience.

Kyngofpop your turn.
tmi
Aw, it's nvr tmi in threads like these...no no, but I've already given one confession that was a bit much for this thread so I'll refrain or better yet spare you all the sordid details. You're welcome.
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      10-01-2018, 04:01 PM   #1160
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by lemetier View Post
Which part? The liquid fecal matter or the serpentine reptile?
Both or did you try and pick up the snake
Neither. I did what any rational man would do
In the same situation. After I ceased screaming at the shock of a snake and shitting down my leg, I pissed on it enough to corner it at one end, reached out and grabbed the the trash bin with one hand while keeping my cock in the other incase the bastard moved, slipped slightly, so, again, I shit a little more. I proceeded to pull the bin into the shower, set it on it's side, then took aim again to coerce Medusa's offspring into it. Once accomplished, I pissed on it once more for good measure, sprinted out the bathroom, ran to the farthest exterior door since the nearest wouldn't be rational, and tossed it out. Then I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and felt relief no one was there to witness this series of events.
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      10-01-2018, 04:29 PM   #1161
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lemetier View Post
Neither. I did what any rational man would do
In the same situation. After I ceased screaming at the shock of a snake and shitting down my leg, I pissed on it enough to corner it at one end, reached out and grabbed the the trash bin with one hand while keeping my cock in the other incase the bastard moved, slipped slightly, so, again, I shit a little more. I proceeded to pull the bin into the shower, set it on it's side, then took aim again to coerce Medusa's offspring into it. Once accomplished, I pissed on it once more for good measure, sprinted out the bathroom, ran to the farthest exterior door since the nearest wouldn't be rational, and tossed it out. Then I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and felt relief no one was there to witness this series of events.
For posterity's sake
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      10-01-2018, 04:50 PM   #1162
upstatedoc
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Never_Enough View Post
I confess, 2,700+ miles later & I still love my Hellcat.
I love my Stinger
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      10-01-2018, 06:32 PM   #1163
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I do a lot of f*ked up stuff at the club with my boys.

Have crews of friends in multiple cities, been partying it up a lot lately. Slept 3 hrs the other night as I had to be at work at 6 am Sunday.

YOLO
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      10-01-2018, 06:59 PM   #1164
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Quote:
Originally Posted by upstatedoc View Post
I love my Stinger
There was one at the track Friday. Didn't see what he ran, but not a bad looking car. Just not enough HP for me.
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      10-01-2018, 07:00 PM   #1165
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I forgot more confessions than most of y'all have to confess.

But here's one anyway. I'm buying a car with almost 17lbs. per HP.

Here's another one. It's a BMW.
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      10-01-2018, 07:20 PM   #1166
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"Surprise snake" usually means something else, but I guess that's more for locker rooms
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