[Squawks]

Originally Posted by shimshimhada

I didn't know that bartenders and servers enjoyed their lives?

They sure do. Look at Bella. Gal looks happy to me. At least on the outside...j/k!

[e90rocks]

I can sympathize. Yes, if you work 50-80 hours a week, you have to love your job. Sadly, I think polls show that 2/3 of Americans do not even like their job. Most of the people on this forum seem pretty smart and talented, however, and these are the ones who get to be in the top 1/3 if they try.

There are several angles to this problem
1. Paying your dues - it sounds like you're in the single/just out of school/working your ass off mode. In some circles (lawyers who are associates, docs in residency, etc) this is known as paying your dues. No way out but up, if you can hack it, but you have to be willing to persevere and delay gratification.
2. Loving what you do - if you don't like your field, then you're probably young enough to change it or shift it.
3. Deciding what is most important - if you're one of the unfortunate people who only think of work as a means to a paycheck, then you have to refocus. Life is harder than that.
4. Work environment - sometimes the job is a good fit, but the employer, administration, climate, colleagues are not a good fit. That's not such a bad situation, as the solution is obvious.
5. The saddest - some people lack the abilities to get a job which they consider truly challenging or fulfilling. They get jealous of those with "glamourous" jobs not realizing that not everyone can be a lawyer, CEO or pro ballplayer. These people need to seek pride in a job well done, even if it's not glamorized in the media. That's easier said than done, of course.

I suspect you're in category #1, although it's a tough combination when combined with #2. I had to put up with a lot through med school and residency and even private practice, but find that now I enjoy going to work. I actually have enjoyed going to work for years, I just wished I didn't have so many doggone hours. The only thing I really had been complaining about in the past few years had been the 45 minute commute each way. Now that I got my e90, that's one of the better parts of my day.

[BiggieJ]

man this is why i tell everyone:

STAY IN COLLEGE FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN!!!

get a masters, get a ph.d trust me its better than whats out here. no more living day-to-day, living for the moment. ive always been a spontanous kinda of guy and now EVERYTHING has to be planned out to fit my work schedual. it kinda kills the fun of it all. and with my one day off of work im so tired, id rather just relax and catch up on my time, but that one day has to be divided for my gf, friends, anything else i need to get done for work. even my days off are stressful.

im pretty sure this is NOT what were meant to be doing. we werent designed for this kinda work. its a brutal cycle of making money, paying bills, eating, shitting, and sleeping. i guess i need to apply one of the only things ive learned in college thats true: its all about time management. i need to set a goal and make arrangements to accopmplish that goal. maybe ill do another triathlon. maybe i learn the art of brazillian dance-fighting, i forget what that was called (magna krava, maybe?), i guess i just have to find my lil nich.

oh and BTW owing your own business...its one of the most stressful thiung youll ever go through, given you can survive that brutal first-year. but they said 1/3 of all new millionaires are self-employed. so hopefully itll pay off in the end.

sorry for the long rant. ive been kinda down lately- it think its the damn weather. were not used to this gloomy rainy weather, here in socal.

[deutschmann59]

Ha ha ha! I keep reading through these posts and it reminds me of Office Space..."Michael, we don't have a lot of time on this earth. We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements..."

And I even told my boss I like Michael Bolton!

No, my problem is I don't like where I live. Even though I like what I do and I'm making decent money, I don't like it here, but it's a double-edged sword since it's an established family business since the 1920s.

But I read a lot of towns and cities across the US are in trouble like this. People are moving into the suburbs because medium-to-large cities just aren't attracting college graduates like they should be. Good, high paying tech jobs just aren't here. And it's a real shame, but I can't just blame my hometown, because this seems to be apparent across the US. I think the whole American economy is beginning to be sold to countries overseas.

Think about it. What do we make here anymore? Sure we have the silicon valley, but how many places actually make TVs, DVD players, Video cards, memory chips, etc. here in the US compared to places overseas? Our steel isn't even made here anymore. US Steel and Bethlehem Steel closed within the past 10 years and now all steel is overseas.

It's funny now too, because the article I read says, now if you want to be a millionaire, you've got to be a geek or nerd. The tough guy-slacker just doesn't seem to make it in today's world.

Sorry for the off-topic rant, I know I had a point in all that, somewhere

[timzerofive]

Well, if your location is what's mainly depressing you, then you have to take some action. Personally, I think liking where you live is very important. I took a paycut just so I can move back to so cali. In north cal, I had a better position, my company paid for my apt, gave me expense allowance...etc. I gave that all up because I hated north cali. If it is a such a major factor for you, perhaps you have to think about giving up this family business. Or at least work to alleviate some of your responsibilities so you will have the luxury to get away from time to time.

[BMW F22]

I've realized what life's gonna be like just by looking at the people around me. It's the same routine everyday: wake up, go to work, come home, watch tv and eat, go to sleep. But we have to accept the fact that most people have this routine. We all have to work for a living. It's not like we can just wake up one day and decide not to go to work just bcus we dont feel like it.

On the other hand, I wanna get a good job so I at least enjoy it. I dont wanna "work". I wanna have a career; something Im interested in and enjoy doing. Like the NY senator said "if you have that little feeling like you wanna go to work when you wake up on Monday morning, you're in great shape." I think most people will realize this when they're in college. Hence the reason why so many people change their majors. There isnt much we can do to break that routine. But that's why we have weekends and vacations. This is a very interesting topic. I could go on for hours...LOL

[deutschmann59]

If I step out of my routine for one day, I'm all screwed up. Last wednesday I had to go to a mandatory continuning education seminar which changed my routine and I was like a deer in headlights.

We all need to have something to do. Even if I had $100 million dollars, what kind of life is it to sit around all day and watch tv. Or play golf all day? Or sit and play computer/video games all day?

If I had that much money, I'd find something I'd like to do (not necessarily good paying, or stressful) but just something I enjoy doing. I don't know what...maybe like construction work (can you tell I've been watching a lot of Office Space? )

[BMW F22]

Originally Posted by sharp1183

If I step out of my routine for one day, I'm all screwed up. Last wednesday I had to go to a mandatory continuning education seminar which changed my routine and I was like a deer in headlights.

We all need to have something to do. Even if I had $100 million dollars, what kind of life is it to sit around all day and watch tv. Or play golf all day? Or sit and play computer/video games all day?

If I had that much money, I'd find something I'd like to do (not necessarily good paying, or stressful) but just something I enjoy doing. I don't know what...maybe like construction work (can you tell I've been watching a lot of Office Space? )

Exactly! I was gonna ask "what do rich people do?" I mean in order to break the routine you have to have rich friends also. Even if you were to have $100mil and your friends are well...not rich...who will you hang out with? Even then, you would get bored after a while because everything will become...a routine again. I think that rountine is not a bad thing. It's like people have found the way to live their lives and are comfortable with it. Therefore they stick to it.

[oc24]

Give me the $100 million I will find something to do with it I can f'n guarantee it...

[deutschmann59]

Originally Posted by slubu

Give me the $100 million I will find something to do with it I can f'n guarantee it...

Yeah, you got me there. I would too!!!

[timzerofive]

So it sounds like you don't even really want to get out of your comfort zone. If you don't get out and try new stuff and break your routine, you might just get stuck like this for a while. As far as money goes, whoever tells me money cannot buy me happiness, I'll always tell them, give me a million dollars right now and I'll show you how happy I can be.

[tl_boy]

even when you start your own business, that won't alleviate the mental pressure. You may enjoy your job, but you will find the responsibility and tension falling on your shoulders. If your business has a problem at 12:00 a.m. in the morning, you'll be worried sick. If you work for someone else, you don't REALLY care if it burns down, afterall, you're life is not invested in it. I was the biggest advocate of starting your own business a few years ago. But i'll be brutally honest: it is fcking hard. Yes, you may make a sh*t load of money, but do you really need to have a bmw or a mansion? I'm so caught up. I'm 28 and I want my next car to be a Maserati or Ferrari. I'll probably get there in 2 years, but at what expense? i'm so fckn stressed. I can't take a vacation, i don't have time.

There is no easy solution imho. Its a part of our culture. May sound nuts but try moving somewhere, Europe, parts of Asia, Latin America. Work culture is different there, people have more time to relax and the mental pressure of being competitive is not as much there (though, with globalization, things are changing).

The problem here i see is that everyone is so damn competitive (myself included ). Not just with like businesses, but within their society. For example, if my best friend, who is a doctor, buys a house, i want to buy a house. If he buys a bemer, i buy one. Not that I compare myself to him, but that its a sign of success, and I want to be a part of the successful camp.

No one looks at the guy who may be the nicest guy on the planet and say, "there goes a good guy" when he's driving a corolla. Thats the sad fact of life. Girlfriends/wives, even male friends, EVERYONE likes hanging around successful people. And the measure of success in this country is what? $$$.

Its not the $$$ thats the problem i think, its the thought process involved in making that money, and the fact that you have to invariably work your a55 off. sorry for ranting, but i feel the same way you do, and I own my own buisness. I make a lot of money, and am still complaining, so there is proof that money is not everything.

And then, once you make it, and you have a lot of money, the vultures set in. Everyone is trying to sell your business something, everyone wants you to invest in some sh*t. Its hard to forget about money for 1 fcking day.

[shim]

try and win the lotto.. then all should be good.

[DLJJ3399]

1. Learn to love the plateau. Life has its peaks and valleys. One continual peak would be like driving your car at the red line 100% all the time and we all know what happens then.

2. Move out of your parents house. I builds character and will motivate you to do something more with your life.

3. Stay in your job long enough to gain experience and tenure. Focus on your retirement savings because what you pay attention to grows.

4. And last, you will eventually find the job you love. It sometimes takes a while. But if you jump around from job to job a lot, it takes even longer.

Good luck!

[DLJJ3399]

Originally Posted by shimshimhada

Emo.

I didn't know that bartenders and servers enjoyed their lives?

I know this is off topic Shim, but the picture with the cut out man from the orange makes me queezy. I thinks it's the shadows in the picture. I'm not sure but I'm not fond of looking at it.

[BMW F22]

Originally Posted by shim

try and win the lotto.. then all should be good.

Im telling you- people think they know exactly what to do if they were to win the lottery. It's not that simple. It's gonna take you a while to figure out what to do with all that money. People say they wil invest it and donate some to charities. If your investment falls through, you will be richer but you will end up doing the same things over and over again. You could travel the world and then what?? You could buy exotic cars and then what?? Im not saying that money wont make you happy. THat's not even it. Im merely trying to say that there will always be a routine for you whether you're rich or not.

[CnoteMD]

Many occupations with high incomes require a great deal of education and/or hard work. Along the way, we are forced to sacrifice many of the enjoyable things in life in order to reach these high goals.

In some situations, people have sacrificed so much and have gotten so deep in thier career that they ultimately have nothing left but a high paying job. I know this is very cliche, but the best things in life really are free.

While pursuing a career, you have to be mindful of the truly important things in life. Otherwise, when you finally "arrive", you still won't be happy. I also see that many people who have high paying jobs don't necessarily love thier jobs and some of them almost hate thier jobs.

I actually enjoy what I do for a living, but I have to keep things in perspective. This is what I do for a living, and thats it. I try to maintain a life outside of work, and that is where I am truly happy.

[E90-4life]

Originally Posted by CnoteMD

Many occupations with high incomes require a great deal of education and/or hard work. Along the way, we are forced to sacrifice many of the enjoyable things in life in order to reach these high goals.

In some situations, people have sacrificed so much and have gotten so deep in thier career that they ultimately have nothing left but a high paying job. I know this is very cliche, but the best things in life really are free.

While pursuing a career, you have to be mindful of the truly important things in life. Otherwise, when you finally "arrive", you still won't be happy. I also see that many people who have high paying jobs don't necessarily love thier jobs and some of them almost hate thier jobs.

I actually enjoy what I do for a living, but I have to keep things in perspective. This is what I do for a living, and thats it. I try to maintain a life outside of work, and that is where I am truly happy.

Amen, go on wit cha' bad self broman!

I work around guys that make seven figure incomes and it's not un morceau de gâteau. They have to stay in their office after hours, take trips and be away from their families, and be in board room meetings all day long. Not exactly what I'd call "fun". However these guys have a certain mentality they take towards their work and personal lives, I haven't seen one of them throw a tantrum because they hate their job, yet.
You can still find something you love and not make a lump some of money from that one particular job, but also have some additional income through a buisness on the side. I know tons of people like this that are living quite comftarbly. It's all about making capitalism work for you.

[ward]

wow you guys are sure cheerful today

:finger:

[BMW F22]

If I had a family of my own I wouldnt really care about my personal life. I mean I would take the kids to grandma and take the wife out every now and then. But I think that spending time with your own family is the best thing ever. After a long day at work you come home to your wife and kids and teach them how do their hw or just watch tv with them. It makes your job seem like nothing because you know you can always count of them to cheer you up. That to me is the greatest single treasure in the world...


man Im sounding all queer right now...

[Squawks]

Dude, kenny, get a dog. Or cat, whichever you prefer.

[E90-4life]

Originally Posted by BMWE90

If I had a family of my own I wouldnt really care about my personal life. I mean I would take the kids to grandma and take the wife out every now and then. But I think that spending time with your own family is the best thing ever. After a long day at work you come home to your wife and kids and teach them how do their hw or just watch tv with them. It makes your job seem like nothing because you know you can always count of them to cheer you up. That to me is the greatest single treasure in the world...


man Im sounding all queer right now...

why is it queer for a guy to be honest? I'm sorry but I have no issues w/ my masculinity if I'm having an honest discussion, on the internet or in person.