09-04-2020, 01:01 PM | #27963 |
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09-04-2020, 03:43 PM | #27964 |
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Karen calls cops on black kids
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09-04-2020, 03:45 PM | #27965 |
I can haz cheezburger?
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09-04-2020, 03:51 PM | #27966 |
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^^ So true!! I have the misfortune of teaching my finance course this afternoon at 3:15. I will be giving unannounced bonus points for those in attendance. Friday afternoon before a three day weekend...
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09-04-2020, 03:59 PM | #27967 |
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09-04-2020, 04:43 PM | #27968 |
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Food for thought.
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09-04-2020, 05:13 PM | #27969 |
I can haz cheezburger?
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What part of wrong number did this clown not understand? Got this text today. Chime in as to what else I should reply with...
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09-04-2020, 05:21 PM | #27970 | |
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It's like folding a royal flush to me. I once kept one going over a long Memorial Day weekend until about 11 am on Monday morning. My GF says I am crazy, but then she will ask to read them and laugh the whole time. Those are nuggets from heaven.
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09-04-2020, 05:53 PM | #27972 |
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Gwyneth Paltrow's team smelled her vagina to make sure the candle was authentic.....I'll just leave this here for y'all to jump on....
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09-04-2020, 05:53 PM | #27973 | |
I can haz cheezburger?
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09-04-2020, 06:19 PM | #27974 | |
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09-04-2020, 06:50 PM | #27975 |
I'll get back to you
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i'd take one for the team
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09-05-2020, 09:43 PM | #27981 |
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Several actors have played James Bond, Sean Connery IS James Bond...
Sir 7ewis, 7X FIA Formula One World Championship, World Driving Champion. 100 Wins. 101 Pole Positions. 54 Fastest Laps. Actual Rain Master. Leave me to it, Bono. One Race Win in each of his 15 years in F1. Most Laps Led in Formula One. The Centurion. |
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09-05-2020, 10:41 PM | #27982 |
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09-05-2020, 10:43 PM | #27983 |
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09-06-2020, 06:35 AM | #27984 |
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*Consulting Humour*
Last Friday, I took a guest to Sagar Ratna Restaurant. I noticed that the waiter had a spoon in his shirt pocket. I looked around and saw all the waiters had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came I inquired, "Why do you place the spoon in your pocket?" He explained, "The boss hired Accenture Consulting to reengineer our processes. They discovered the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. Approximately 3 spoons per table per hour are dropped. If our staff carry spoons, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift." As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare one. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the Indian waiter's zip. Looking around, I saw that all of the Indian waiters had the same string hanging from their zips. I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, can you tell me why you have that string there?" Then the Indian waiter lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. Accenture also suggested we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our manhood, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 45%." I asked quietly, "After you get it out, how do you put it back?" He whispered, "Accenture didn't mention that in report, so, _We use the spoon_." |
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