[mylydiamy]

Thanks for your supportive comments guys.

It was really tough to swallow at the beginning. I was having nightmares about her taking vacations with her boyfriend at some fancy resort with my hard earned money. I was even thinking about leaving the country if it wasn’t for my daughter.

But there was a turning point on how I feel about this whole situation about 2 months ago. One day I was at the gym after another negotiation session and feeling very depressed as it became more clear that I was going to be in this s*** for long long time. I had no energy to exercise. I sat on the floor looking at the floor. Then I saw a quarter. I got the quarter and started flipping it. Then I noticed the writing on the quarter : “Live free or die”. This made me realize that some people gave up their life for freedom. And I have to do give up some of my hard earned money to get my freedom. I realized that mine is nothing compared to what others did to be free. From that day on I have been telling myself that this is the cost of my freedom and it is well worth it!

No matter what I do I cannot change the outcome but I can change the way I feel. This helped me a lot.

Now I have a beautiful girlfriend who makes me happy. I also do my best to be the best father to my daughter.

You live and you learn…

[PSUSMU]

Originally Posted by mylydiamy

...Then I saw a quarter. I got the quarter and started flipping it. Then I noticed the writing on the quarter : “Live free or die”. This made me realize that some people gave up their life for freedom. And I have to do give up some of my hard earned money to get my freedom. I realized that mine is nothing compared to what others did to be free. From that day on I have been telling myself that this is the cost of my freedom and it is well worth it!

No matter what I do I cannot change the outcome but I can change the way I feel. This helped me a lot.

Now I have a beautiful girlfriend who makes me happy. I also do my best to be the best father to my daughter.

You live and you learn…

Great outlook. Best of luck in your freedom

[texasmojo]

I've been happily married for 11 years with my wife. I would never do anything on my part to ruin my marriage. I'm like the perfect husband. I will also follow our marriage rules "till death do us apart" if you know what I mean. I make that very clear to her.

[DiavelM3]

Originally Posted by stimpy

Holy shit. She just won the lottery.

She gets to sit back and not do a damn thing for 3400 a month PLUS receive 700 dollars for child support until she graduates COLLEGE? The 3400 is absolutely ridiculous and I really don't understand why you'd have to pay CHILD SUPPORT to her the whole time she's in college. She's an adult - you shouldn't have to pay the moment she turns 18.

Rough.

I've heard of alimony payments like this even though the soon-to-be-ex-wife is working a full time job making over $60k a year. It just doesn't make sense but eh, neither does the judicial system..
Very rough indeed!

[DiavelM3]

Originally Posted by texasmojo

Take her on a snorkel vacation to Aruba!

[shah269]

Bro,
I am very sorry to read all of this...to many good men take hits like this all the time.
The way the court system is set up is very similar to the Life Time Networks motto...it's always the mans fault! I have no idea how or when this shit happened but that is about how things seem to work. That is why I'm never having kids and if i do get married again I will have the girl sign a prenup stating "You aint getting fucking shit!"

And here is the problem.
1) If you try to defend your position no matter how bad or crazy the woman was society is going to blame you. And here is where you will find who your true bros are. If they make fun of you or in any way look down on you…they are not true bros and should not be spoken to. And expect a good 50% of the female population to blame you for what went wrong. A woman can cheat on a man steal his money and shoot him and in their minds…it’s the mans fault!

I went to one and only one marriage counselor meeting with my x wife before the divorce, of the 1 hour dedicated to the session the counselor spent 50min grilling me about thing I did wrong…after determining I did nothing wrong be it washing the dishes to paying for her education…she turned to my x wife and said “So why are you angry?” in a nice sweet voice?

Same with my parents when I said we were getting a divorce! 4 hours of me getting grilled…and these are my parents!

2) The bitch has friends who do nothing but pour poison into her ear, note the 50% of women who have already blamed you. And they will just feed her inner cunt just to make things harder for you regardless of what you do!

Look I’m not a misogynist but…been there done that seen too many good men go down. Hell seen some take their own lives! And FUCK! I was almost there myself! I mean really no joke! There I was on a skydive looking at the ground thinking…well the bitch used me abused me cheated on me left me with a condo that has $80k of negative equity in the middle of old lady land….maybe I should just go in.

That shit right there is fucked up! Ending your life, the life you have worked so hard for, the life you have made because she decided she didn’t want to talk or to communicate? Fucked up right?

So my deepest condolences to you and your great kids. My advice, find a therapist to talk to because talking to the general public….is going to just piss you off that much more. And make sure who ever you date is smarter, thinner and more fun in the sack than that sack of shit you dropped off!

[Boben5]

$3400 a month, that is depressing! You must be making a really good salary for her to be awarded that. If you are going into a marriage and your the one going in with the assets, I don't care if she is a victoria secret model, you have to get a prenup signed. That person you think loves you can change her mind like the direction of the wind changes and take everything you worked hard for. Your signing a contract when you get married so sign a separate contract going in. There is no way im getting married without a prenup. Now the hard part of course is introducing it to your partner, its very stressful, and usually you only get one shot at it. If she hesitates at first you can forget about her signing it!!

[mylydiamy]

Once again thanks for your support guys.

You should be aware of the fact that even prenup can NOT protect you 100%. The length of alimony is based on length of your marriage. The amount of alimony is based on the income difference between you and your partner. These can not be prevented by prenup. Again the state laws varies tremendously so I can not comment for each state.Just make sure to talk to not just one but a few good lawyers before you get married, or if you feel that your marriage is not going to last much longer. Keep in mind that over 50% of marriages end up with divorce...

[mylydiamy]

Originally Posted by benbo5

$3400 a month, that is depressing! You must be making a really good salary for her to be awarded that. If you are going into a marriage and your the one going in with the assets, I don't care if she is a victoria secret model, you have to get a prenup signed. That person you think loves you can change her mind like the direction of the wind changes and take everything you worked hard for. Your signing a contract when you get married so sign a separate contract going in. There is no way im getting married without a prenup. Now the hard part of course is introducing it to your partner, its very stressful, and usually you only get one shot at it. If she hesitates at first you can forget about her signing it!!

Believe or not $3400 is not that much in most cases. If you make $150K a year and your wife doesn't work, this is more or less what you pay

[chrisv_335EBII]

Welp, reading this just made me return an engagement ring. F that.

[shah269]

Originally Posted by chrisv_335EBII

Welp, reading this just made me return an engagement ring. F that.

Don't be like that bro! It's not all bad!
Look I broke the shit out of my shinbone while on my 8th jump!
And a year later, i was smarter and bionic and well I got back in the air!

You can't live your life scared!

You can however live your life smart.

[Boben5]

You can however, OP, put no alimony in a pre-nup. The only thing you can't put in pre-nup is anything that has to do with children. That always is settled by a court.

[shah269]

http://www.prenuptialagreements.org/what-is-in-prenup/

you can if you so wish state that the girll will shave her legs and stay in shape and be no larger than a standard size 8 or you will kick her ass to the street...NO JOKE YOU CAN INCLUDE THAT!

[Rowdy]

Thank the stars that our courts and judges north of the 49 are a little more on the sane side. Although I have seen some BRUTAL divorces. Like I mentioned in the mail order bride thread.. co worker lost his house, 3 series and about 20k in lawyer fees.. for being common law!

Gentlemen.. PROTECT YOURSELVES!

I still think the best comment ever was from Ari Gold.. 'I'd kill my wife before I'd divorce her'

[mylydiamy]

Originally Posted by Rowdy

Thank the stars that our courts and judges north of the 49 are a little more on the sane side. Although I have seen some BRUTAL divorces. Like I mentioned in the mail order bride thread.. co worker lost his house, 3 series and about 20k in lawyer fees.. for being common law!

Gentlemen.. PROTECT YOURSELVES!

I still think the best comment ever was from Ari Gold.. 'I'd kill my wife before I'd divorce her'

Haha! I remember it! Entourage was my favorite series... But his wife was richer than him

[mylydiamy]

Originally Posted by shah269

Don't be like that bro! It's not all bad!
Look I broke the shit out of my shinbone while on my 8th jump!
And a year later, i was smarter and bionic and well I got back in the air!

You can't live your life scared!

You can however live your life smart.

Couldn't be said any better...

[carve]

Originally Posted by texasmojo

I've been happily married for 11 years with my wife. I would never do anything on my part to ruin my marriage. I'm like the perfect husband. I will also follow our marriage rules "till death do us apart" if you know what I mean. I make that very clear to her.

Well, that takes care of half of it. If you look back in this thread, that's EXACTLY where I was two years ago. I was a great husband (get real- you're full of crap if you think you're perfect), and I came to realize she was totally taking advantage of that and bringing almost nothing to the table beyond a friendly smile- I was just taking care of her and getting almost nothing in return. I was 100% faithful and I did 80% of everything from $ to housework (primarily cleaning up after her) to intimacy to washing her damn car. I hope you remain happily married forever, but people change and sh!t happens, man.

Now I'm VERY happily single. Lots of beautiful, smart, ambitious women are interested in me because I have those very qualities she took for granted (and more). SO-MUCH-FUN!!! Guys have told me they'd practically kill to have my life after hearing about an average week

I 2nd that the OP get a therapist. I did and it was very helpful.

[BabyrayS2k]

[mylydiamy]

Originally Posted by carve

We'll, that takes care of half of it. If you look back in this thread, that's EXACTLY where I was two years ago. I was a great husband (get real- you're full of crap if you think you're perfect), and I came to realize she was totally taking advantage of that and bringing almost nothing to the table beyond a friendly smile- I was just taking care of her and getting almost nothing in return. 100% faithful and I did 80% of everthing from $ to housework to intimacy to washing her damn car. I hope you remain happily married forever, but people change and sh!t happens, man.

Now I'm VERY happily single. Lot's of beautiful, smart, ambitious women are interested in me because I have those very qualities she took for granted (and more). SO-MUCH-FUN!!! Guys have told me they'd practically kill to have my life after hearing about an average week

I 2nd that the OP get a therapist. I did and it was very helpful.

Wow! Sounds like you just described my marriage: one does all the work and other one just enjoys it but does not even appreciates... Looks like we both made same mistake

[shah269]

Originally Posted by mylydiamy

Wow! Sounds like you just described my marriage: one does all the work and other one just enjoys it but does not even appreciates... Looks like we both made same mistake

+1!
Same here, i cooked, i cleaned, i folded the clothes and paid for her education.... fuck i even paid for her fucktards friends wedding dress...and her fucktards kids xmass gifts!

And sure no man is perfect but dont' listen to that life time shit...no woman is perfect either. But good luck arguing that point...note not a single woman has said a fucking word in this thread! Why? Simple in their mind no matter how good the dude....shit you could give her a kidny and chew her food for her...and it's still your fault..in one way some way somehow it's your fault.


And that fucking pisses me off! My x wife cheated on me...point blank the cunt cheated no me. You think other women would look down on her...ha ha FUCK and NO! My favorite line thus far has been "I'm sure you did something wrong for her to cheat on you." If that sentence does not hurt your head....you are seriously fucked up. It's like saying "Girl, if you weren't such a slut you wouldn't get raped!" And what really makes you want to drop kick puppies into wood chippers....is when guys trying to appease pussy say it...really bro...really? WTF!

It's shit like that which started me to look at the ground at 125mph and thinking...hey how bad can it be?
I can't imagine how bad it would be if I had kids...fucking A that would be a head down dive into the ground from 14kft!

So, for all of you who are getting this shit sandwich from people, please don't get down on your self...ok?

Women are crazy and those fucktards who are just kissing up to them are just pathetic!

[grimlock]

Damn, makes you wonder if you can't win with women.
Should you treat them as objects to be controlled and ordered about, equals, or are you the one being played?
Can't win, can you not lose?
If you control her, and she is happy with it, is that ok?
If she is a whore and you are unknowingly happy with it, is that good?

[carve]

Originally Posted by shah269

+1!
Same here, i cooked, i cleaned, i folded the clothes and paid for her education.... fuck i even paid for her fucktards friends wedding dress...and her fucktards kids xmass gifts!

And sure no man is perfect but dont' listen to that life time shit...no woman is perfect either. But good luck arguing that point...note not a single woman has said a fucking word in this thread! Why? Simple in their mind no matter how good the dude....shit you could give her a kidny and chew her food for her...and it's still your fault..in one way some way somehow it's your fault.

LOL- we should all hang out :P

Ditto on paying for her education, not to mention taking her on a year long trip around the world. She had a very low paying job for her education level, too (more education than me, making 1/3 as much). It was always frustrating because it basically made me less able to take risks in my career, and essentially required me to spend many more years of my life in an office. If she made more, we could retire sooner and have more recreation and travel opportunities. Towards the end she said money wasn't important and she intended to work forever, and my problem with her career choices was just that I was jealous she liked her job more than I liked mine. Well...wouldn't you know it...as soon as she's on her own, a decent paying job with retirement benefits and getting all the retirement money she could get from me suddenly became very high priorities for her. If only she realized all along she would be responsible for her own future one way or another there would've been less resentment. So glad I got out of the alimony! She quit her job for a while during the negotiations to stick me with all the bills though and to try to get more out of me.

She was living with her parents for a while and just got her own place. Unless she can find some other schmuck to take care of her, it's going to be a rude awakening for her when she realizes how much effort it takes to take care of the little things she took for granted before.

And that fucking pisses me off! My x wife cheated on me...point blank the cunt cheated no me. You think other women would look down on her...ha ha FUCK and NO! My favorite line thus far has been "I'm sure you did something wrong for her to cheat on you." If that sentence does not hurt your head....you are seriously fucked up. ...

We DID do something wrong: we gave them all we could without setting boundaries on what is and is not acceptable behavior in the relationship, which made them lose respect for us. Next relationship, be just as giving, but make your needs clear and if she isn't willing to do her part, kick her to the curb. Pick a girl based on what she is, not what you want her to be. A partner and contributer is something I require, so now I typically only date seriously smart women who either already make decent money (from 60 to 300% of what I make), or are in school for careers with that kind of potential (some are a lot younger than me). I'm on a few online dating sites (try it- it's like shopping for women!) and I make that clear right on my profile. I say I give a lot, and expect a lot in return and I'm looking for a partner- not someone looking to be taken care of. Boundaries set before we even meet. It's a nice cunt-filter.

That's how you treat a woman, grimlock; with respect as an EQUAL. That means don't treat them like an object, but just as importantly don't put them on a pedestal and let them cross your boundaries. That's the only way you can have a respectful relationship. Give them what they need in a relationship, but have no qualms about GETTING what you need from them, too.

Right now, I need to be dating several women at once. I clearly explain why (and I do have legitimate reasons beyond the ridiculous amounts of mind-blowing sex I'm having) and you'd be surprised how many women respect that and will stay with you if you're honest about it. It's a fantastic situation- when they know they're not the only one, they actually compete for your attention! A really beautiful girl (looked like Emma Watson) who I had amazing chemistry with wasn't OK with it, and had a crap job, too. The old me would've dropped everything for that kind of chemistry and beauty, but I realized she doesn't meet my needs right now so I dropped her. In the future, when I'm ready for something exclusive, I'll give her a call and see how her career is going and maybe restart it. I think good guys are hard to find, and we're good guys, so we can have options like that. It's a very non-needy thing to do, and women respect that. They don't want some pussy who needs them- they want a guy with options who CHOOSES them above all the others.

It's shit like that which started me to look at the ground at 125mph and thinking...hey how bad can it be?
I can't imagine how bad it would be if I had kids...fucking A that would be a head down dive into the ground from 14kft!

The thought crossed my mind, too, although I never seriously considered going through with it. I thought "is this all there is...another monotous day of giving all I can and not getting my needs met?" Life is precious though, so better to throw caution to the wind and see what you can make of it before you check out, which is exactly what I did. The thought never even crosses the most remote portions of my mind any more. I'm having an AMAZING time and I see so much potential for further growth and happiness

I'm not so sure about marriage anymore- nobody has a right to own my life, and when someone feels entiteled to you, they no longer have to put in an effort to keep you around- you're legally obligated. I'd have to be with someone for a very long time to have enough trust to do that again, and it would be with someone I don't want to be without.